The Bank Takes The House
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
The Bank Takes The House
The farmer takes a wife.
The wife takes a child
The farmer takes the drink
The wife takes the kids
The bank takes the house.
On Friday. The bank takes possession of what use to be our marital home.
We're not close to being all moved out.
The yard has overgrown, just like the stereotypical foreclosed house.
My dog is buried there. My hopes of reconciling. Of some Lazarus type of miracle.
I think the kids are ok. They've been going back to that house since we moved out in September to see their dad every week.
I'm taking the little white pine that grew over my youngest sons placenta.
Am working all day here at my house, then going over there with the kids after school to pack and throw out massive amounts of stuff. We stayed last night and will be staying ovenights until Friday. The truck comes Thursday.
It was weird waking up there today. Making breakfast in my old kitchen. I am sad, but it's nothing like it used to be. I am ready for this to finally be over.
I used to crawl on that floor in the kitchen. Desperate and broken. Now I'm saying goodbye and being strong for myself and my kids. It's sort of easy.
AH and I have a polite distance between us. We're both sad, but working hard. I hope to have a goodbye ceremony with the kids Thursday. They think we sold the house. I hate lying to them, but don't know what else to do. if my oldest asks, i'll tell him the truth. All they need to know right now is that they will have a place to live, a place they will also love.
I need to make more money and fast.
I think I've recovered enough from that old, desperate, needy, obsessive state to fully live my own life.
I just keep praying. Keep working. Keep watching for potential triggers that will can knock the wind out of me. I know where they hide now, so it's easier. And I know how to not go looking for them too.
Thanks everybody. Thank you for all of your wisdom and patience with me.
The wife takes a child
The farmer takes the drink
The wife takes the kids
The bank takes the house.
On Friday. The bank takes possession of what use to be our marital home.
We're not close to being all moved out.
The yard has overgrown, just like the stereotypical foreclosed house.
My dog is buried there. My hopes of reconciling. Of some Lazarus type of miracle.
I think the kids are ok. They've been going back to that house since we moved out in September to see their dad every week.
I'm taking the little white pine that grew over my youngest sons placenta.
Am working all day here at my house, then going over there with the kids after school to pack and throw out massive amounts of stuff. We stayed last night and will be staying ovenights until Friday. The truck comes Thursday.
It was weird waking up there today. Making breakfast in my old kitchen. I am sad, but it's nothing like it used to be. I am ready for this to finally be over.
I used to crawl on that floor in the kitchen. Desperate and broken. Now I'm saying goodbye and being strong for myself and my kids. It's sort of easy.
AH and I have a polite distance between us. We're both sad, but working hard. I hope to have a goodbye ceremony with the kids Thursday. They think we sold the house. I hate lying to them, but don't know what else to do. if my oldest asks, i'll tell him the truth. All they need to know right now is that they will have a place to live, a place they will also love.
I need to make more money and fast.
I think I've recovered enough from that old, desperate, needy, obsessive state to fully live my own life.
I just keep praying. Keep working. Keep watching for potential triggers that will can knock the wind out of me. I know where they hide now, so it's easier. And I know how to not go looking for them too.
Thanks everybody. Thank you for all of your wisdom and patience with me.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
I'm sorry about the house transform!
It really knocked the wind out of me last month when the bank took over our marital home. My dog is buried there too. Still struggling with it, but everyday gets better.
Peace and ((hugs))
It really knocked the wind out of me last month when the bank took over our marital home. My dog is buried there too. Still struggling with it, but everyday gets better.
Peace and ((hugs))
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Pelican, really? This happened to you just last month? My goodness. And your dog is buried there as well? I find that amazing, despite the many times I've come here to find someone else telling my story.
I am still crying, still sad, but it's so much better, so different than the horrible pain and inability to function that I felt while living there.
I am still crying, still sad, but it's so much better, so different than the horrible pain and inability to function that I felt while living there.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
You are a brave person for sharing your story and I thank you because it helps others who may be going through the same thing.
They may take your house, but they cannot take your spirit and your memories of the good moments there.
Take the good memories in your heart and leave the bad memories behind, there are good things awaiting you in days to come and all your needs will be provided.
Hugs
They may take your house, but they cannot take your spirit and your memories of the good moments there.
Take the good memories in your heart and leave the bad memories behind, there are good things awaiting you in days to come and all your needs will be provided.
Hugs
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Thank you Everyone.
I'm headed out to pick up the kids and go back over there. No internet there, and I'm a bit freaked out after sitting at this computer and writing for 6 hours. Need. Yoga...
But your kind words and inspiration are coming with me. Thank you!
I'm headed out to pick up the kids and go back over there. No internet there, and I'm a bit freaked out after sitting at this computer and writing for 6 hours. Need. Yoga...
But your kind words and inspiration are coming with me. Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: In the barn
Posts: 324
Transform, my heart aches for you. I am so proud of how strong you are and how you continue to keep reaching for the positive. You are, like so many here, a great example and teacher for all of us.
Hope you get a chance to hit yoga soon, I know how much you need it.
Hope you get a chance to hit yoga soon, I know how much you need it.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
transform, remember you can do yoga anytime just paying attention to your breathing...
I particularly like the "square breathing"
count to 4 while you inhale
count to 4 while holding
count to 4 while you exhale
count to 4 without air
I read somewhere all the different kinds of yoga and postures are just excuses for you to LEARN TO BREATHE... breathe deeply and mindfully...
Gosh I need yoga badly too. But just having that next yoga session at home (or bikram for you if I recall well) is something to look forward to!
Those moments... going back to a meaningful place and recall where you were, and where you are now... are where strength is built... your post reminded me of Mandela's words in my signature...
You were crawling, now you are walking, in the future you will be flying
free as a bird!
Have you thought on calling the Salvation army or similars to see if something you got may help someone else? or call the neighbors for an improptu garage sale..
All that heavy stuff that you have been carrying or relating to and are now letting go is very symbolic for what you are going through internally don't you think? remember you got to create space in order for new things to arrive in your life.
This is just a transition and I am very glad you got your objectives very clear.
I would have also lied to my kids, they need to be kids.
Hugs from me and the cats !!
I particularly like the "square breathing"
count to 4 while you inhale
count to 4 while holding
count to 4 while you exhale
count to 4 without air
I read somewhere all the different kinds of yoga and postures are just excuses for you to LEARN TO BREATHE... breathe deeply and mindfully...
Gosh I need yoga badly too. But just having that next yoga session at home (or bikram for you if I recall well) is something to look forward to!
Those moments... going back to a meaningful place and recall where you were, and where you are now... are where strength is built... your post reminded me of Mandela's words in my signature...
You were crawling, now you are walking, in the future you will be flying
free as a bird!Have you thought on calling the Salvation army or similars to see if something you got may help someone else? or call the neighbors for an improptu garage sale..
All that heavy stuff that you have been carrying or relating to and are now letting go is very symbolic for what you are going through internally don't you think? remember you got to create space in order for new things to arrive in your life.
This is just a transition and I am very glad you got your objectives very clear.
I would have also lied to my kids, they need to be kids.
Hugs from me and the cats !!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
I know the feelings, or a variation of them. After I got laid off, I didn't know what I was going to do. I got an offer (unsolicited) on my home. I bought that home myself 6 yrs ago, a symbol of my growth and strength and freedom. I had to sell, I had no other choice as I couldn't pay for it with only $$ from unemployment and I didn't have any money in savings. As it turned out, I walked away from the deal with a little $ and no negative credit problems.
It was a difficult yet wonderful and cathartic thing to go thru everything and figure out what was really important. Most of the stuff was just stuff, after all. I have my memories, I have some precious things out in my new place and other stuff in boxes for later. Most of it was sold at the GarageSale of the Century and on Craigs List. My trash was someone else's treasure.
It has been a journey, for sure, and I'm not sure that I'm where I'm going just yet. But for now I'm safe and dry and warm and happy. One of my dogs is with me, my 2 cats, and I am with the man I love. (and he's NORMAL. go figure)
It's hard to explain, and it's hard to let go, but I feel free-er and unencumbered without all of that stuff holding me down.
Once again, I learned there was light and life on the other side if I was willing to step out there. I hope that you find the same.
It was a difficult yet wonderful and cathartic thing to go thru everything and figure out what was really important. Most of the stuff was just stuff, after all. I have my memories, I have some precious things out in my new place and other stuff in boxes for later. Most of it was sold at the GarageSale of the Century and on Craigs List. My trash was someone else's treasure.
It has been a journey, for sure, and I'm not sure that I'm where I'm going just yet. But for now I'm safe and dry and warm and happy. One of my dogs is with me, my 2 cats, and I am with the man I love. (and he's NORMAL. go figure)
It's hard to explain, and it's hard to let go, but I feel free-er and unencumbered without all of that stuff holding me down.
Once again, I learned there was light and life on the other side if I was willing to step out there. I hope that you find the same.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
My heart goes out to you too -
I lost my home too - twice. lol
The first time was damaged by Hurricane Rita - then after a yr and half of struggling fighting for help, red tape and all other stuff - We replace it with a beautiful home of my dreams. - We moved in December 23, 2006
Then, November 27, 2008 I had to leave because it was no longer safe nor sane for me to live with the active disease of alcoholism/addiction. My AH ended up getting awarded my dream home.
BUT Today - I am Happy, Joyous and FREE - I still have twinges of sadness over losing that home - there were many memories of my daughters and grandchildren made in both of those homes (the new one was located right next to the old one) but my freedom, sanity and serenity is much more important.
I pray that all will go smoothly for you and your HP will help you with your healing as you walk your path!
HUGS,
Rita
I lost my home too - twice. lol
The first time was damaged by Hurricane Rita - then after a yr and half of struggling fighting for help, red tape and all other stuff - We replace it with a beautiful home of my dreams. - We moved in December 23, 2006
Then, November 27, 2008 I had to leave because it was no longer safe nor sane for me to live with the active disease of alcoholism/addiction. My AH ended up getting awarded my dream home.
BUT Today - I am Happy, Joyous and FREE - I still have twinges of sadness over losing that home - there were many memories of my daughters and grandchildren made in both of those homes (the new one was located right next to the old one) but my freedom, sanity and serenity is much more important.
I pray that all will go smoothly for you and your HP will help you with your healing as you walk your path!
HUGS,
Rita
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Hi Everyone, thank you for the good prayers and words.
Yes, I"m sure that with this closing door others are opening. I"ve been trying to "get on" with my life for years now. This is one of the final ways to do so.
I"m trying to not complain- but am on my cycle and because I didn't go to yoga regularly this month my endometriosis is full steam ahead so I've got to do all this physical labor while massively bleeding and in pain. I feel horrible, Christmas is coming and I have no money but my kids are soo excited. I'm trying not to spiral downward, as soon as I can get back to yoga my body will strengthen up quickly but I can't go while I"m essentially homorraging. Ugh. I'm sorry if that's too much information
and yes TakingCharge, I know I can create sacred space around me wherever I am thank you for the reminder but I need the HEAT at Bikram, that's what fixes and heals me--
But being around AH this much is so weird. I"m pleasant, but withdrawn and not engaging, I think he sees it as something it's not. Not that he thinks we're getting back together because he doesn't want that either and makes it clear, but I think he sees it as an open forum for him to talk talk talk about himself and what interests him. I see him as so selfish and controlling now, when we were together I tried to please him but there was always a power struggle going on and I didn't even know it! He's so particular about his stuff and what the kids do. I'm glad I'm getting the chance to see him interact with them like this, it gives me a better sense of what's going on. He's also very loving and supportive to them, in different ways than I am, and i can tell it's not for my sake. He's been working on it while we've been seperated and I'm grateful for that. It will only benefit the kids and help them transition in our divorce if their parents aren't total freaks.
Of course, he's not drinking while we're there, so there's that.
All of this is so strange, watched by me from a distance. I mean, I'm right there in the room but am no longer in the middle, controlling what happens. Orchestrating. Instead I let AH and the kids be who they are and do what they do without interveining.
I think this is true detachment. There have been a few tense moments where he escalates and I just say "I"m not doing this" and walk away. He gets control of himself, apologizes and we keep working.
He also started attacking me about money, but I said simply, "hey, you didn't plan very well so now you're mad at me? No." and walked away. Again, he came back with apologies.
I just want this whole thing to be over and done with...
Yes, I"m sure that with this closing door others are opening. I"ve been trying to "get on" with my life for years now. This is one of the final ways to do so.
I"m trying to not complain- but am on my cycle and because I didn't go to yoga regularly this month my endometriosis is full steam ahead so I've got to do all this physical labor while massively bleeding and in pain. I feel horrible, Christmas is coming and I have no money but my kids are soo excited. I'm trying not to spiral downward, as soon as I can get back to yoga my body will strengthen up quickly but I can't go while I"m essentially homorraging. Ugh. I'm sorry if that's too much information
and yes TakingCharge, I know I can create sacred space around me wherever I am thank you for the reminder but I need the HEAT at Bikram, that's what fixes and heals me--
But being around AH this much is so weird. I"m pleasant, but withdrawn and not engaging, I think he sees it as something it's not. Not that he thinks we're getting back together because he doesn't want that either and makes it clear, but I think he sees it as an open forum for him to talk talk talk about himself and what interests him. I see him as so selfish and controlling now, when we were together I tried to please him but there was always a power struggle going on and I didn't even know it! He's so particular about his stuff and what the kids do. I'm glad I'm getting the chance to see him interact with them like this, it gives me a better sense of what's going on. He's also very loving and supportive to them, in different ways than I am, and i can tell it's not for my sake. He's been working on it while we've been seperated and I'm grateful for that. It will only benefit the kids and help them transition in our divorce if their parents aren't total freaks.
Of course, he's not drinking while we're there, so there's that.
All of this is so strange, watched by me from a distance. I mean, I'm right there in the room but am no longer in the middle, controlling what happens. Orchestrating. Instead I let AH and the kids be who they are and do what they do without interveining.
I think this is true detachment. There have been a few tense moments where he escalates and I just say "I"m not doing this" and walk away. He gets control of himself, apologizes and we keep working.
He also started attacking me about money, but I said simply, "hey, you didn't plan very well so now you're mad at me? No." and walked away. Again, he came back with apologies.
I just want this whole thing to be over and done with...
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
