On Letting Go and Just Being
To thine own self be true.
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
On Letting Go and Just Being
It is difficult for me a lot of the time, trying to relate with other people who are in my life, or with people who have chosen to spend some time with me in the recent past. My ADHD does not help because it distorts my perceptions of myself, of others, and of the World and what is happening in it.
I also operate out of some unhealthy patterns, habits, and thought processes that I have developed over the years. Some of these can be attributable to my family of origin. Some of these I have developed to COMPENSATE for my ADHD. Some of these I have developed to compensate for my mental illness.
I am accustomed to, and keep repeating, some unhealthy ways of relating to others. Although I have worked hard for many years to try to change those systems of thinking, acting, relating, behaving, I know I still have a long way to go. And I am grateful that I do, because if I had no more distance to cover with myself, I would be dead.
Today, I am working on NOT analyzing everything and everyone; just letting things be, breathing through them even though they are not causing me anxiety (when at an earlier time, they would have had me flipping out, crying, screaming, foaming at the mouth, panicking, etc).
Today, I am working on letting other people choose WHEN and under what circumstances they will interact with me, according to THEIR own needs, NOT mine. I can just be, and allow others to just be also.
Today, I am working on OWNING 100% of how I think, act, do, feel, behave, communicate, etc. Because these are MY choices, not anyone else's.
Today, I am working on Letting Go and Letting God, which requires faith.
Thank you for listening.
I also operate out of some unhealthy patterns, habits, and thought processes that I have developed over the years. Some of these can be attributable to my family of origin. Some of these I have developed to COMPENSATE for my ADHD. Some of these I have developed to compensate for my mental illness.
I am accustomed to, and keep repeating, some unhealthy ways of relating to others. Although I have worked hard for many years to try to change those systems of thinking, acting, relating, behaving, I know I still have a long way to go. And I am grateful that I do, because if I had no more distance to cover with myself, I would be dead.
Today, I am working on NOT analyzing everything and everyone; just letting things be, breathing through them even though they are not causing me anxiety (when at an earlier time, they would have had me flipping out, crying, screaming, foaming at the mouth, panicking, etc).
Today, I am working on letting other people choose WHEN and under what circumstances they will interact with me, according to THEIR own needs, NOT mine. I can just be, and allow others to just be also.
Today, I am working on OWNING 100% of how I think, act, do, feel, behave, communicate, etc. Because these are MY choices, not anyone else's.
Today, I am working on Letting Go and Letting God, which requires faith.
Thank you for listening.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 19
Thank you for the post and 'today's wisdom ' - of letting go. While it drives me crazy, being at home, waiting my bf to arrive, I'm just driving myself mad by doing this - and not letting him mind HIS OWN buisness, I should learn to take the attention and move the focus from him - to me. And own MY OWN buisness. But its hard.but im trying really hard every day.
And its so true, its poisoning and it makes me anxious -if I start to think about him, reasons why he doesn't arrive home and so on..
but no - today I will focus on myself.
And I will let go, letting him spend his day as he wants, instead of forcing him into my 'space' or day/spare-time.
And its so true, its poisoning and it makes me anxious -if I start to think about him, reasons why he doesn't arrive home and so on..
but no - today I will focus on myself.
And I will let go, letting him spend his day as he wants, instead of forcing him into my 'space' or day/spare-time.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: In the barn
Posts: 324
L2L, I really needed to read your post today. I have been struggling with sitting still and just feeling my feelings -- I too have ADHD. Things like meditation are impossible for me. I can read a passage and consider its implications for about two minutes...and immediately my brain just rushes through the commonalities and implications and the next thing you know I'm thinking about the amazonian rainforest or whether I should give up shaving my legs and whatever it was I was trying to meditate on is LONG GONE.
On the flip side of that coin, like you - I overanalyse things. I think one of the greatest and most difficult things about ADHD is the hyperfocus. Things that upset me, things that people said to me that hurt or bothered me get stuck on endless repeat until I work myself up into a lather over them.
Thanks for your thoughts on letting go and letting God. That was helpful to me today.
On the flip side of that coin, like you - I overanalyse things. I think one of the greatest and most difficult things about ADHD is the hyperfocus. Things that upset me, things that people said to me that hurt or bothered me get stuck on endless repeat until I work myself up into a lather over them.
Thanks for your thoughts on letting go and letting God. That was helpful to me today.
To thine own self be true.
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Cowgirl,
Thank you so much for sharing your post. I relate to EVERYTHING you shared there; I am WITH YOU sister and am benefitting today from your words.
Today I am grateful for Cowgirl and Cowgirl's words.
Just for today, don't try to let go of details, or people, or behaviors, or feelings, etc. Try instead to let go of some of the WORDS that you use in your brain to perceive your world. Especially:
Possessive words like my, mine, ours
Absolute words like always, never, forever
Negative words like impossible, stupid, addict, alcoholic
Angry words like hate, and ruined, and any cuss words
And Dramatic phrases like I love him, How could he? He doesn't care.
The reason I return to the words time and again on SR, is because words (like feelings) create thoughts and thoughts create reality. When I try to let go of the thing, the behavior, the person, or what-have-you, I become WAY too anxious and fearful and scared. So when I focus on the words instead, the rest seems to melt away, piece by piece, bit by bit.
Also, one meditation technique that has been helpful to me in the past is to not meditate on anything in particular, but to meditate on a picture of a candle flame. Just keep bringing your attention back to the picture of the flickering candle flame in your mind, just behind your forehead. And don't forget to keep returning yourself to your breath.
OK, hope you find something I said here useful today.
Thank you so much for sharing your post. I relate to EVERYTHING you shared there; I am WITH YOU sister and am benefitting today from your words.
Today I am grateful for Cowgirl and Cowgirl's words.
Just for today, don't try to let go of details, or people, or behaviors, or feelings, etc. Try instead to let go of some of the WORDS that you use in your brain to perceive your world. Especially:
Possessive words like my, mine, ours
Absolute words like always, never, forever
Negative words like impossible, stupid, addict, alcoholic
Angry words like hate, and ruined, and any cuss words
And Dramatic phrases like I love him, How could he? He doesn't care.
The reason I return to the words time and again on SR, is because words (like feelings) create thoughts and thoughts create reality. When I try to let go of the thing, the behavior, the person, or what-have-you, I become WAY too anxious and fearful and scared. So when I focus on the words instead, the rest seems to melt away, piece by piece, bit by bit.
Also, one meditation technique that has been helpful to me in the past is to not meditate on anything in particular, but to meditate on a picture of a candle flame. Just keep bringing your attention back to the picture of the flickering candle flame in your mind, just behind your forehead. And don't forget to keep returning yourself to your breath.
OK, hope you find something I said here useful today.
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