FreeBird09

Ok, I am not really big on games so I am not aware of ones like this..

I got a call last night and it was the area code from where I use to live, but figured maybe it was one of my friends calling to say hi. (it was a cell #) I picked up and the caller, before hanging up said, yeah she is there, but it was spoken to someone in the background. I said, ah, wrong #, then I was looking at the number and seen that it had called me a few times and hung up, and I thought it was a bill collector for the X. Well this time I was bored and called it back. A man answered and said, oh it must be a wrong number I dialed. I said.. (my axbf's VERY close family member) is that YOU!!!.. he said yes, and that he was looking for my axbf (which is weird, and I am sure quite a lie since this person is VERY close to my x) and wanted to make sure he had the number right. Or some bull!!!.. I asked how the man was doing and he said he was very sick and that is why he was trying to get ahold of the axbf. THEN, he went about asking me how I was doing, and that he hoped that I am ok and that everything is going well. I just relayed that I am very wonderful and for him to take care of himself. I didn't ask about the x, I didn't do anything but just relay my thanks for him asking about my well being.

I think it was a setup. I have not had ANY contact with the axbf in a long, long time, must be months (with the exception of when I found out he lied, I then told him how much I hate him and that was that).

What is everyones take on it? I haven't been with the axbf in nearly 2 years, it's really off base for this VERY VERY close family member of his to call me out of the blue 'by accident'.

I really, really hate games.

bookwyrm

So don't play them. Let it go, put it out of your mind and get the focus back where it belongs - on YOU!

FreeBird09

bookwyrm, I did go about my night, but that call is still nibbling at my mind. I am just concerned that the axbf is going to show up on my doorstep. We know how they hate to lose.

bookwyrm

Letting it worry at the back of your mind is no fun though. Maybe, if it would make you feel better, you could work out how you would want such a meeting to go and then, contingency plan in place, try and stop worrying about it! Easier said than done I know...

ItsmeAlice

I agree with Bookwyrm. The games I hate most are the ones that have no established rhyme, reason, or rules to them, and these are the ones addicts and their enablers seem to love the most.

When something like this happens to me the only way for me to get rid of it is to make a plan by deciding how I want to handle the top three paths I think the situation could take.

My Xfriend and I remain in and around the same town. I was so uncomfortable with the idea of running into her that I was motivated to move my horses to a new farm, change my driving route into town, and change the times I typically shop at the same stores she does. Silly, I know, but my discomfort just wouldn't go away. My heart jumps everytime I think I spot her car.

I finally started letting these feelings go when I decided to think through various run-ins with her. What would I say? How would I act? If I'm caught off guard how do I stick to my plan?

I practice it to myself in the car or the shower. I wrote down the phrases I want to use. Now when I think I see her car and my heart still jumps a little I recite those phrases. I notice that the uncomfortable feelings about her pass quickly and my focus quickly turns back to me and my day to day.

Having a plan, like practicing a fire drill, makes living with the idea that a crisis could occur much more peaceful because you have prepared yourself.

Oh, and I agree, his family member's bull about calling by mistake is just pitiful. You handled yourself with grace in the face of such stupidity. Bravo!!

Alice

FreeBird09

Thank you bookwyrm and Alice. I have thoughts of what to say, but am not very good with surprises. It was/is pure bull that his VERY close family member made a mistake calling here. After that long, who would have the number still in hand!! I can't hardly remember the x's cell number, and can't at all remember the house # or address even!!. I am GREAT with number too, but I am TRYING to forget ALL of this and get on with my life.

I feel that I handled it well too, thank you Alice for also validating that for me. I was so proud that I didn't add anything about the axbf in there, or even as much as ASK about him. If that doesn't send a message, I don't know WHAT it does!!..

Cucumber2Pickle

My boyfriend came up with the silliest things to talk to me when I seperated myself (we are back together now though)

He would call me at 2am drunk and saying things like "Oh I thought I saw you drive by and I wanted to make sure you got home ok" or "I just wanted to see if you found any of my socks in your things when you moved" Or "I was bored" or whatever - then it would lead to him asking me to spend time with him or come over and when I said no - it ended in him yelling at me and calling me names...sometimes he wouldnt and he would call himself names instead....