I finally see that its ALL ABOUT ME!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 56
I finally see that its ALL ABOUT ME!
Hi everyone! Its been quite a while since my last post, mostly because my life has been incredibly hectic and confusing, but I have stopped by to read and learn, and its been incredibly helpful.
7 months ago my AX chose the drink over me, and I am finally OK with that.
Back then it was suggested by some of the lovely folks here that it would be extremely difficult to recover from his abuse while still living in the same place. Guess what! You were RIGHT! So I made the decision to move out in Feb, and told him so. He was not happy with that, and I felt so empowered when I told him "your fear is not my problem!" MAN did that feel great!
I took this new found strength and re-evaluated my situation with someone I've been seeing for a couple months. Last week I realized that I was falling into the same ol' codie routine that I was so used to. While driving back from his place in complete frustration due to traffic, I realized what I was doing...again. Sacrificing my needs for those of others. It was a total AHA! moment.
Tonight he was upset with me because I didn't feel like hanging out. Two weeks ago, i would have turned the car around and headed to his place. Today, I said I just don't feel like it, I just want to be in my own space with my dog, and thats that. If he doesn't like it, I don't care! Its not about him, its ALL ABOUT ME!
It took some time and alot of sad moments, but I finally understand that there is a bright light at the end of this tunnel, and I will not stop moving forward for anyone ever again!
Thanks to all of you who've shared the stories that helped me see that light!
peace
romey
7 months ago my AX chose the drink over me, and I am finally OK with that.
Back then it was suggested by some of the lovely folks here that it would be extremely difficult to recover from his abuse while still living in the same place. Guess what! You were RIGHT! So I made the decision to move out in Feb, and told him so. He was not happy with that, and I felt so empowered when I told him "your fear is not my problem!" MAN did that feel great!
I took this new found strength and re-evaluated my situation with someone I've been seeing for a couple months. Last week I realized that I was falling into the same ol' codie routine that I was so used to. While driving back from his place in complete frustration due to traffic, I realized what I was doing...again. Sacrificing my needs for those of others. It was a total AHA! moment.
Tonight he was upset with me because I didn't feel like hanging out. Two weeks ago, i would have turned the car around and headed to his place. Today, I said I just don't feel like it, I just want to be in my own space with my dog, and thats that. If he doesn't like it, I don't care! Its not about him, its ALL ABOUT ME!
It took some time and alot of sad moments, but I finally understand that there is a bright light at the end of this tunnel, and I will not stop moving forward for anyone ever again!
Thanks to all of you who've shared the stories that helped me see that light!
peace
romey
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Romey, I do remember you. I am so glad to hear you are doing well !! thanks for coming back with your updates!!
I now got 2 lovely cats, moved somewhere else and got a boyfriend. He is a good person.
It is difficult to shake the codie ways but when you do it its such a great feeling! now its much easier to know when I am putting someone else first. Glad to be next to nice people on the Codie no more bootcamp that is breaking up with someone manipulative.
Congrats!!
I now got 2 lovely cats, moved somewhere else and got a boyfriend. He is a good person.
It is difficult to shake the codie ways but when you do it its such a great feeling! now its much easier to know when I am putting someone else first. Glad to be next to nice people on the Codie no more bootcamp that is breaking up with someone manipulative.
Congrats!!
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