SadButHopeful

Ok, my AH has his psychiatrist appt tomorrow. He always downplays his drinking, sometimes he doesn't mention it at all. This is a new doc and my AH has never seen a psychiatrist b4. He's being treated mainly for depression & anxiety.

I'm thinking of calling the doc b4 my AH's appt. I did this a couple of months ago, and when AH got there, the doc confronted him about the drinking. This actually prompted my husband to stop for about 45 days. He was given meds to help him with withdrawal.

So, do I call? Is it enabling if I don't call? Or is it trying to control the situation if I do?

I think the doc should know, I don't see much point in going to this guy if he doesn't know all of the facts.

Thanks

Pelican

This is what I see:

His drinking
His appointment
His doctor
His depression
His anxiety
He is an adult

greatscott

I'm no veteran to all this stuff but it sounds like you're trying too hard to control the situation to me. Having said that, I did the same thing a few months back to my girlfriend. The doc could only listen when I called and not really give feedback, but I gathered that she had not been up front at all with her shrink and that it was all new news to the doctor. This appt began a chain of events that led my gf to a 30 day program. Seemed like it was the right thing to do in my eyes... but now I'm on the other side of the treatment and she's using again, leading me to wonder if maybe she felt pushed into rehab by this doc (and others, myself included) before she was really ready to get help. So maybe I shouldn't have done it. I don't know the answer... just wanted to share a similar experience. Maybe you should just remind your husband that the doc won't really be able to help him if he doesn't have the whole story and hope that he is forthcoming with everything. Seems like his responsibility- not yours. I dunno. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

nodaybut2day

I know this hard, and this is JMHO, but I think "hands off the alcoholic!" might apply in this situation. I know you want him to get treated, but recovery is in *his* hands, not yours.

JenT1968

I would leave it alone. if he has seen a doc before, and they had any suspicions/insights, it would be in his notes anyway, which in my country (no knowledge of yours) would be open to the psychiatrist.

their's no point in going to a psychiatrist if you aren't going to be as honest as you can be, but they are used to people presenting a "face", a "story" and you can't control his treatment.

Still Waters

I actually went with my AH to his Dr. appt, this was the appt. where he was going to discuss "relapse prevention". You gotta actually STOP before relapse comes in to play right?

Anyway - the doc laid it on the line - and that was the beginning of my AH's trip to rehab.

Which, in retrospect, he only did to shut me and his family up.

Lilya

I wouldn´t call the doctor, but step away from the situation.

I agree that your AH´s past history should be in the doctor´s notes.

Sometimes the best strategy is letting go.

Don´t misunderstand me, I know how hard this is.

Love and light,

steve11694

If doctor does not recognize alcoholism then treating the other problems is like shoveling sand against the tide. Meaningful treatment must remove the "alcohol"

If ah lies and denies then he is just waasting time with doctor.

SadButHopeful

Thanks everyone.

Well, guess what? He's not going anyway