transformyself

AH sent me a bunch of nasty texts last night.

I read them this morning and deleted them.

When I see him, I"ll pretend nothings wrong. Wait. Nothing is wrong. When I see him I won't mention them because I don't care. I don't give a rats ass what he says to me when he's drunk.

For years I have been entangled in his madness. I think him drunk texting me this crap would have enraged and devastated me two months ago. Six weeks ago. I'd have spent the day formulating my come backs. Making my point.

My point now is that he has none. Accept more madness.

If you're currently locked in a fighting it out relationship with your A, I"m here to testify that it doesn't have to be this way. When I read postings from others who are furious and entangled in sickness with their A, I seriously thank God I'm not there anymore, not right now at least. I could be, I can go back at anytime because he's not changing and hasn't yet found someone else to argue with.

Still Waters

Yes, exactly. Now when my AH sends messages to other people (never me) they want to know what in the world he's thinking. I just remind them that he's in no way sane and to just ignore him.

Startingover2

Good for you. You are making real progress when you don't react.

My exah is a drunk texter as well. Heck, he loves to text over a conversation because he thinks it will hide that he is drinking. Funny thing is when he is drunk texting none of it makes sense and its a sure giveway

I think its good you don't act like it even happened when he comes. Really, it doesn't change a thing but really confirms who he is.

transformyself

Thanks guys.

The funny thing is, this has happened naturally. I mean, I didn't have to force myself to delete them or work through anything to not care and just think he's an idiot. It's like a natural order of consequences..

honoryourself

I currently set up my AH's emails to be directly sent to a folder in my account called "a$$hole" .. then I can read them when I feel up to it, see if there's anything important etc, but I don't have to stare at them in my inbox ever.

naive

yeah, i'm with you, transform. it's like all of a sudden it has no power over me. it feels like a spell has been broken and i'm not mesmerized any more.

mine came knocking my door the other day after a long time of no contact. i thought to myself "wonder what he wants to say?" and then i realized that there was not one possible thing he could say that would make any difference to me. i ignored him and he went away.

it's not that i'm indifferent to his suffering, but what can i do about it? nothing.

tjp613

I think this is why No Contact is so important (if it is possible).... it helps to break 'the spell'. Well, actually, it's REQUIRED in order to break the spell! At least for me....