Tom_Leafs

My 1st problem is Alcohol, then I want to keep drinking so I do any drugs to keep drinking ex. Coke, pain killers. Then I find myself up all weekend, at the beer store at 10am. Then when I do drugs alone I want to drink because I am anxious and need to calm down. This downward spiral is killing me fast I am 28 and need to get clean and sober. Iv tried many time to quite. Been to rehab. Also I find my mental illness (Anxiety and depression) is bad and getting worse.

My questions to my friends out there is-

Anyone have the same problem like mine?
What meetings do you go to AA NA, both?
any insight to give me?


Thanks for readings this!


Tom

Dee74

Hi Tom

I'm not dually diagnosed and I don't do either AA or NA - but I wanted to give you a shout out anyway.

Keep trying

D

Taking5

Many people have addictions to alcohol and drugs and go to both meetings. I personally don't make an exception, but some AA groups are not so accepting of people with narcotic addictions as well, you may have to visit a few groups.

SR is a great place for support as well.

If you have been using heavily, especially alcohol, you need to talk to a Dr. before you quit cold turkey. Alcohol withdrawals can be deadly, up to 7 times more fatalities than opiate withdrawal.

NEOMARXIST

Hey man, I was similar to you. I am an alcoholic but I would also do shed-loads of drugs to enable me to be able to keep drinking and generally just get more mashed up.

I only need AA as without the booze then I don't really have to worry about drugs. The main drugs I was into, certainly over the last 3 years, were mainly stims like Ecstacy, speed and Cocaine. Though when LSD was readily available I went through a summer 2 years ago of having that in the mix regularly too. I also used to take so-called legal highs ie- BZP and TFMPP and LSA very heavily as these were a cross between ecstacy, speed and lsd. You get the picture I too was pretty heavily into my drugs too.

Despite all of this I regard alcohol as the demon. I can see through the drugs but the booze just has something different. That gets me on so many different levels and will destroy everything in my life and wants me to have nothing to live for but booze.

However like you I would want to drink if I was doing drugs as it takes the edge off and chills you out, especially if your high/trip gets too intense, then it stops you from worrying about it and you can just let it ride and not worry about weird feelings in your chest, limbs etcetc

If I was to take any drugs then I would want to drink booze. If I was to drink booze then I would want to take drugs. If I drink booze then I have no life.

My solution to this problem is to never take that first drink. I think this may be your solution too. I have 4.5 months sober and couldn't care less about the drugs really. But the booze? That's where I have to put the work in.

peace and Love xxx ps- I have met quite a few other members similar to me on this at my local AA meetings. A young guy I met the other week thought for years he was a drug addict but in actual fact it was not untill he gave up the drugs and still found his life unmanageable and not turning out the way he thought it would when the drugs were kicked that he realised that it is the booze that is the real killer. The drugs will either follow or enable the alcohol.

thirtybubba

Welcome Tom...

I agree with Neo, the only solution appears to be not to take the first one... I am also aware that that's difficult, don't get me wrong.

I don't have time most of the time to meetings, as getting there and back takes almost a quarter of my day, but I have went to both. Two of my favorites are NA meetings, due to the more relaxed nature of the people. Another is an AA meeting where most people in the meeting are drug addicts, actually. Hmmm.

Most of my drug use was more casual, and most of it was when I was a teenager (90s), but somehow that seems to be where I feel more welcomed.

Also, there are other kinds of meetings, secular type like SMART or LifeRing, and religious ones such as CR, and other sorts of recovery tools.

Ping pong... Ping pong might keep you busy.

Sorry, it's 4 am and I can't sleep.
TB

jazzz

Hey TomLeaf. I also used to do some drugs. Alcohol is the demon, as Neo put it, but I loved getting my hands on some drugs, for me it was speed and ecstasy! I also did some legal highs. At one period I didn't drink and was really into the legal highs. I thought if I didn't drink and ONLY did drugs, that would be the life! Hehe, not true.
I stopped drinking 3 months ago. Had the chance to take drugs a couple of weeks ago. But you know, it felt exactly like having a relapse just thinking about taking drugs. I got the same thought patterns I have around alcohol when I thought about taking drugs. I was trying to fool myself into thinking it would be okey to take drugs as long as I didn't drink, but I caught myself. It would be the same escaping from reality as alcohol gave me.
The AA meetings I go to is full of people who did drugs too. In this day and age it's very common for alcoholics to take drugs too. It's all part of the same problem. An inability to deal with life on life terms, sober. That's where AA is really great. It forces you to take a look at yourself and deal with yourself. Sounds harsh and it is but in the end it's so worth it! I did go to a NA meeting once by mistake, haha, and it was different. They use the same principles and all, but I couldn't relate in the same way I can in AA. Maybe you should try both to see where you feel more at home. I'm pretty sure you'll feel at home in one of them

All the best

ClosetExtrovert

You were so lucky to recognize that. Wow.

smacked

You just described my life for the past 14 years. I am 29 now.. been sober for a year and a few months. I know the cycle you're describing very intimately. I'd get bombed on coke, crack, crank, meth, whatever.. I'd get anxious, want to calm down.. buy a bottle of vodka, drink it in an hour.. score more coke.. eventually went to heroin instead of the vodka so I could calm down again, over and over and over.

I also carry a diverse collection of mental health diagnoses. Borderline PD, Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety/PTSD, Psychosis NOS (guess that one just catches the rest of my inexplicable issues). Been on court ordered meds, several loony bins.

I don't KNOW what ended up working, but I know that all the drugs and liquor were exaggerating all of my clinical issues, and making the meds I was taking horribly ineffective. I got sick of killing myself.. and I got sick of feeling sick ALL the time.

So my short answers are:

Yes.

Went to a few meetings, decided on a different path. I don't follow a 12 step program.

Nope, other than the fact that I DO understand where you are, but I also know where you COULD be.. I've lived it. Personally, I ended up in a few meetings (na and aa), in some pretty intense counseling OUTSIDE of the shrink I was seeing for the clinical issues, I stopped using all drugs and alcohol. Had my meds re-evaluated for efficacy and appropriateness by my psych doc, and made sure ALL my counselors and doctors were on the same page with my 'stuff'. I committed to living sober, for good, and supplimented by the support and structure that my family and counselors and docs provide, it's helped.

Guess that wasn't a short answer at all lol... but that's me in a nutshell, and I've been just like you.

JoeW

How are you doing? I stopped in the time you are usually there - same time Clay is - to say hi to you both. I hope to see you again in the chat room to get an update. I'm sure it $ucks having a hard time getting to meetings. Hang in there.

---Joe

akazia21

I have been there too....mostly with the coke, used to be a club girl so ALWAYS used coke when I drank to keep up with the NYC scene....exctasy-diff story, hated to drink while on that but used it when I cam down from the coke, then the coke when I came down from the E in two or three day cycles. But mostly towards the end near my arrest I always had mass amounts of coke available and used it mostly to stay up and keep on drinking-god I hate to think of the damage....After my daughter I stopped the coke with little problem, but my main problem was for sure the alcohol....that and after my daughter I cut off everyone who used or sold drugs so they were just not available to me when I got drunk enough to think it was a good idea. I think you need to cut off all in your life who use drugs as it is just too tempting when you are around them and the drinkin kills the judgement. This may not be true for you but I kept them around and it led to disaster almost. Other than that AA is for all addicts...give it a shot

Future22

My drinking really spiraled out of control after a summer of heavy use of pain killers, mainly oxycontin. I found if I took just the right amount of pain killers, I could drink forever. I also enjoyed coke because I could drink for 24 hours and kill about gallon of liquor. Comedown was almost deadly.