Vent
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 290
Vent
Hi everyone,
Haven't posted here in a while, but been reading. I've had a hard couple of days with AH and I am sooo exhausted... so I thought maybe posting here will do me good
I left for a week back in September and told AH he would have to go to treatment if he'd want me to come back. He agreed. Well, to make a long story short he's been jumping on and off the wagon ever since (can't seem to make it past 10 days). I have tried to focus on me and for the most part have been doing well, but I did slip here and there and when I did had a major breakdown. Well I guess today was one of these days
I'm exhausted! He woke me up/ kept me awake on Thursday, Friday and Saturday night... so on Sunday night I finally figured out a way to lock the bedroom door and have had the bed for myself since (not without a fight). However, today I just flipped out - over money issues - because he'd rather spent money on videogames and booze than give it to me for bills!!! Nothing new - but today I freaked out over it. Afterwards I was upset not only with him, but also with myself for going crazy like that again. I realize now that I need to remind myself to HALT - I'm really stressed out over studying and adding the extra stress of being tired and living with an active a, just threw me overboard!
Not really asking anything, I guess... just needed to get it out. Can't wait for the semester to be over with (soon), so I can take some time to do some insight work.
Haven't posted here in a while, but been reading. I've had a hard couple of days with AH and I am sooo exhausted... so I thought maybe posting here will do me good
I left for a week back in September and told AH he would have to go to treatment if he'd want me to come back. He agreed. Well, to make a long story short he's been jumping on and off the wagon ever since (can't seem to make it past 10 days). I have tried to focus on me and for the most part have been doing well, but I did slip here and there and when I did had a major breakdown. Well I guess today was one of these days
I'm exhausted! He woke me up/ kept me awake on Thursday, Friday and Saturday night... so on Sunday night I finally figured out a way to lock the bedroom door and have had the bed for myself since (not without a fight). However, today I just flipped out - over money issues - because he'd rather spent money on videogames and booze than give it to me for bills!!! Nothing new - but today I freaked out over it. Afterwards I was upset not only with him, but also with myself for going crazy like that again. I realize now that I need to remind myself to HALT - I'm really stressed out over studying and adding the extra stress of being tired and living with an active a, just threw me overboard!Not really asking anything, I guess... just needed to get it out. Can't wait for the semester to be over with (soon), so I can take some time to do some insight work.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
oh, wow...
That keeping you up and awake for three nights in a row is Torture!
Heck, that is what they do with prisoners in interogation and as part of brain-washing.
It is considered sometimes to be Abuse.
I hope you can find a way to take care of yourself AND get decent sleep!
That keeping you up and awake for three nights in a row is Torture!
Heck, that is what they do with prisoners in interogation and as part of brain-washing.
It is considered sometimes to be Abuse.
I hope you can find a way to take care of yourself AND get decent sleep!
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
You're physically exhausted and the last thing you needed was financial stress!
I've calculated my body's sleep deprivation schedule. If I travel out of town over the weekend (same time as your lack of solid sleep), it usually catches up with me 48 hours after I return (Tuesday - the day you snapped).
When I travel and sleep in a different environment, I don't sleep as soundly as when I am at home. I can carry on during the day just fine and think I am doing well. Then when I get back to some solid sleep in my own environment, I still think I'm fine. Two days later it catches up with me and I feel like I'm wearing cement boots and wearing a backpack of rocks - I just drag through my day.
Hopefully, you will be feeling more rested soon.
Give yourself a hug today! Here's one from me too ((((Lotus))))
I've calculated my body's sleep deprivation schedule. If I travel out of town over the weekend (same time as your lack of solid sleep), it usually catches up with me 48 hours after I return (Tuesday - the day you snapped).
When I travel and sleep in a different environment, I don't sleep as soundly as when I am at home. I can carry on during the day just fine and think I am doing well. Then when I get back to some solid sleep in my own environment, I still think I'm fine. Two days later it catches up with me and I feel like I'm wearing cement boots and wearing a backpack of rocks - I just drag through my day.
Hopefully, you will be feeling more rested soon.
Give yourself a hug today! Here's one from me too ((((Lotus))))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 290
Thank you both for your response! Got a good nights sleep last night and feeling better
Pelican - very interesting to read about your sleep deprivation schedule! And thanks for the hug!!!
Wish you all a good day
Pelican - very interesting to read about your sleep deprivation schedule! And thanks for the hug!!!
Wish you all a good day
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