alcoholicson

Ok, saw my son on Saturday. He says that Saturday he was 14 days sober.
I told him how proud of him I was, so on and so on. He got a call while he was there about a job. More congrats because he really really needs a job.
Well, on Sunday he was supposed to pick my daughter up from her job and never showed up. When I finally got him on the phone he sounded like he had been asleep, very disoriented. He was supposed to start his job on Monday. I called three times to see how things went and it went straight to voice mail. He never called me back.

My question is... do you think he is drinking again? Maybe he was just tired Sunday and actually "forgot" to pick his sister up. Maybe he was just busy and tired from working yesterday to call me back. Do you think I am reading too much into this? Should I just calm down? Why am I getting so worked up anyway? There is nothing I can do about. I know, I know, I know....

tjp613

Yes, you should calm down and then go find something constructive to do. Whether he is or is not drinking will not be changed by your worrying about it. Let it go.

Looks like he's not reliable transportation for your daughter, so probably need to find another way to/from work for her!

smacked

You're right, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.. but since you asked, I 'll tell you MY opinion. Yes, he's drinking again. (of course I don't know that). When I used to 'quit' and then drink again, and try to hide it from people, that is exactly how I would act. I would become scarce, suddenly unreachable. Since I've been sober, I have never been too 'sleepy' or 'disoriented' to become unreliable, unreachable or unable to function normally in any way.

alcoholicson

No he is not reliable transportation. But she has lost her license. Long story short, was driving a car with no insurance or tag. Got caught and had her license suspended. Lost her job a few months back and couldn't afford it but has a child and had to have car. Because of who she is living with I would not help her with it. I could go all day on that one.

I am actually at work right now. Need to be working. But can't get my mind off my son. It takes awhile to change the way you react to stuff. I am just learning how to cope. Still not good at it.

Still Waters

Yep. Find other transportation for your daughter.

alcoholicson

Yes Smacked, that is the way he acts when he has been drinking. I am the first person he goes to when he wants to quit and is sick but the first one
he quits talking to when he starts back drinking. It is hard. I am trying to understand.

honoryourself

Try some of the slogans maybe...
"Let go and let God.."
"It doesn't matter.. it doesn't matter.."

They have helped me some in my infant stage of learning to detach

ItsmeAlice

It's good to ask yourself those questions. What am I worked up about? What are my boundaries? Why do I have expectations? I ask myself these things, too, when something gets me spinning on my little hamster wheel. That's you're recovery work in progress. Good for you!

He's giving you reasons to think he's drinking again, sure, but you know you need to let him work his recovery (or not work it as the case may be) and you keep your concern and need-to-know urges in check.

An addicts struggle in recovery is a sure fire trigger for a family member to feel they need to check in, check up on, follow around, and keep tabs on addict.

You can't control it, that's right, but you are also too full up with your own life to follow him around and be a spectator to his sobriety. Get out there and live!

Alice

Still Waters

It IS hard. Hang in there Dad.