Just stopping by for an update
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MO
Posts: 743
Just stopping by for an update
It's been forever since I've been here. I'm sitting in the waiting room, husband in surgery for shoulder repair. Lets see....I divorced him in July, and we began talking in August. He started going to AA April 17th, and now has 7 months sobriety....not that long in the grand scheme of things, but long enough to see his brain returning to human form. We have been to AA together, counseling, and I still attend Alanon. We remarried last month, and it has been like meeting a whole new person.
Remarriage....tough decision. There were some practicalities to it, 4 kids, financial stuff, but most of all we felt it was right. The counselor we go to is very discerning. I also see her alone, and she has over 20 years experience and said if she had ANY reservations she would voice them to both of us. She believes he has had a life changing experience. She said she has seen it only a few times in all of her years of practice. Not that people can't change because it happens in AA all of the time, but that when a marriage is broken to the point of divorce it can be put back together. He found his way back to church after 30 years. He is a softer, kinder, HUMBLER version of the old him. He has owned all of his past behaviors, not using alcohol as an excuse, and to this point has not shown any signs of going back there.
I just wanted to share. I know that our story won't be the case for most people here, and I know lots of you will be skeptical. But there is hope. As long as he's in recovery, working the steps, staying sober, we will be together. If that changes then no 3rd chances and he knows that. But for today life is good, and that's how I'm taking it, one day at a time.
It's good to be here and see that there are still some familiar "faces" and lots of new folks too.
Remarriage....tough decision. There were some practicalities to it, 4 kids, financial stuff, but most of all we felt it was right. The counselor we go to is very discerning. I also see her alone, and she has over 20 years experience and said if she had ANY reservations she would voice them to both of us. She believes he has had a life changing experience. She said she has seen it only a few times in all of her years of practice. Not that people can't change because it happens in AA all of the time, but that when a marriage is broken to the point of divorce it can be put back together. He found his way back to church after 30 years. He is a softer, kinder, HUMBLER version of the old him. He has owned all of his past behaviors, not using alcohol as an excuse, and to this point has not shown any signs of going back there.
I just wanted to share. I know that our story won't be the case for most people here, and I know lots of you will be skeptical. But there is hope. As long as he's in recovery, working the steps, staying sober, we will be together. If that changes then no 3rd chances and he knows that. But for today life is good, and that's how I'm taking it, one day at a time.
It's good to be here and see that there are still some familiar "faces" and lots of new folks too.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Thank you for the update on you and your family!
I'm hoping that your recovery journey's continue to bring you both serenity.
As a recovering alcoholic, I congratulate your husband on his sobriety!
Thank you for sharing the positive side of recovery for couples. We have new members and people that continue to visit this site everyday. Some of the success stories, like you, begin a new phase of their life and move away from the recovery forum. I'm thankful you took the time to share your story with us.
My 30 second update: my exRAH is sober still as far as I know. We have been no contact for a few weeks. He moved to another city for a job. (We've been living in different cities since the divorce) He stopped attending AA and stopped calling his sponsor. It was nice talking with my ex when he was working on his recovery, but now it is more of the same old - same old.
Stop by and say hello when you have time!
Peace and (((hugs)))
I'm hoping that your recovery journey's continue to bring you both serenity.
As a recovering alcoholic, I congratulate your husband on his sobriety!
Thank you for sharing the positive side of recovery for couples. We have new members and people that continue to visit this site everyday. Some of the success stories, like you, begin a new phase of their life and move away from the recovery forum. I'm thankful you took the time to share your story with us.
My 30 second update: my exRAH is sober still as far as I know. We have been no contact for a few weeks. He moved to another city for a job. (We've been living in different cities since the divorce) He stopped attending AA and stopped calling his sponsor. It was nice talking with my ex when he was working on his recovery, but now it is more of the same old - same old.
Stop by and say hello when you have time!
Peace and (((hugs)))
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
(((((((((blessed)))))))))))))))
It is great hearing from you. Wow, I would have never imagined what you say... life is so full of surprises. Keep moving forward!! And thank you very much for helping me out this year. You are an inspiration!
It is great hearing from you. Wow, I would have never imagined what you say... life is so full of surprises. Keep moving forward!! And thank you very much for helping me out this year. You are an inspiration!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
wow! finally, a happy ending!
watch out for the pain meds post-op...if you explore the substance abuse forum, there are some recovery alcoholics that relapsed in that same situation.
thanks for thinking of us down here in the trenches and giving us this update. i personally would be interested to hear again how things are going down the road.
naive
watch out for the pain meds post-op...if you explore the substance abuse forum, there are some recovery alcoholics that relapsed in that same situation.
thanks for thinking of us down here in the trenches and giving us this update. i personally would be interested to hear again how things are going down the road.
naive
Recovering Codependant
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Liverpool, Great Britain
Posts: 1,335
Hi Blessed, it is lovely to hear that you are happy and things are going well for you; may it long remain that way for you both!
Oh and congratulations!
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Oh and congratulations!
Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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