Do I dare say you all were right (again)
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 245
Do I dare say you all were right (again)
My AH has been sober 8 days. I think Ago pegged it that loosing his job might be an alcoholic bottom.
Anyways, almost 2 weeks ago he was fired for drinking. This Friday he had to turn himself in to jail for his 2nd DUI (only served 7 hours). And I filed for divorce.
I didn't want to believe it at the time, but maybe this was a good thing.
Best of all....my anger has virtually disappeared. I see him now in a different light, but in a loving way. I don't know if that makes sense, but that tug of war with alcohol that we were having is gone.
I am still trying to focus on myself. I am getting caught up in how wonderful it is to have him sober. But I have to remind myself not to act according to his actions, to act because I need to take care of myself.
Anyways, almost 2 weeks ago he was fired for drinking. This Friday he had to turn himself in to jail for his 2nd DUI (only served 7 hours). And I filed for divorce.
I didn't want to believe it at the time, but maybe this was a good thing.
Best of all....my anger has virtually disappeared. I see him now in a different light, but in a loving way. I don't know if that makes sense, but that tug of war with alcohol that we were having is gone.
I am still trying to focus on myself. I am getting caught up in how wonderful it is to have him sober. But I have to remind myself not to act according to his actions, to act because I need to take care of myself.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 247
Congrats to you! Be strong, it will be worth it!
Amazing how many times the wonderful wisdom on this forum has proved to be true. I am not sure what I would do without the wisdom found here. I would probably still be in the same very desperate place that I was for so many years.
Amazing how many times the wonderful wisdom on this forum has proved to be true. I am not sure what I would do without the wisdom found here. I would probably still be in the same very desperate place that I was for so many years.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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Posts: 6,278
Originally Posted by whyamistaying 
I am still trying to focus on myself. I am getting caught up in how wonderful it is to have him sober. But I have to remind myself not to act according to his actions, to act because I need to take care of myself.
Give him plenty of time and space to do what he will. And keep the focus on you. One day at a time still applies. You can enjoy the changes in him without dropping your recovery.
L
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
I have a heavy set of lead shoes myself and it takes a complete act of my higher power to get me moving on most decisions. I can truly appreciate the amount of energy it takes to make the tough decisions to put yourself first and file that divorce.
You keep that protective bubble of detachment and healthy boundaries around yourself and your children. Let him rise or fall on his own accord. From your bubble you can watch as he does either and involve yourself only as it is healthy for you.
Best wishes!
Alice
You keep that protective bubble of detachment and healthy boundaries around yourself and your children. Let him rise or fall on his own accord. From your bubble you can watch as he does either and involve yourself only as it is healthy for you.
Best wishes!
Alice
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Wow! Thanks for this:
But I have to remind myself not to act according to his actions, to act because I need to take care of myself.
Keep moving forward, we will be here with you all the way. I am so glad for you, because you are placing yourself FIRST!!
But I have to remind myself not to act according to his actions, to act because I need to take care of myself.
Keep moving forward, we will be here with you all the way. I am so glad for you, because you are placing yourself FIRST!!
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