Rangerbob

I got out of rehab a few days ago, and when I got home, my girlfriend wasn't here. After I made a few phone calls, I found out that she was in California seeing her ex-boyfriend. My rehab was a joint decision that we both agreed upon. Little did I know that my support group had a different agenda.

Well...easy come, easy go, I guess. She's moving out of the house per my request, and don't you know she had the guts to ask me "Is it ok for me to stay here until I move to California?"

And I thought only alcoholics were crazy.

FenwayFaithful

Um okay this is coming from a girl who has a dependent personality so maybe my view isn’t exactly accurate but I really can’t believe that she would be so selfish. I guess maybe it’s hard for her too because of your addiction…but you went and got help and she didn’t stick by you. I just wouldn’t do that to someone. I feel like if you love someone, you stick by them…no matter how hard it is or how much it hurts. She probably did this for herself…you went to rehab for you though. If you had done it for someone else, I don’t think you could have gotten through it…so maybe you’re better off without her. You can focus on yourself… and when you’re at a better point in your life, you can be with someone who will stick by you.

sailorjohn

What do they say? We tend to attract people with illnesses that match ours.

IMO, you're better off not having a partner that would probably affect your recovery in a negative way.

Anna

Early recovery is really hard, but you can get through it, and there is lots of support here.

It's too bad your girlfriend decided to leave, but you need to focus on yourself.

Rangerbob

I really wouldn't have minded her flying out to CA, if she had told me about it first. The one thing I learned in rehab is honesty. The thing that really got me upset was her asking to stay here until she moves out to CA to be with her new boyfriend in Feb. She said she didn't have enough money to get a new place, because she spent her money on an airline ticket. Well...as I said earlier, she is no longer here.

sailorjohn

Tell ya what, you're a lot smarter than I was this early in your recovery.

barb dwyer

I'm more a 'clean break' kind of person.

Like... put her stuff in storage
and mail her a key.

But that's just me,...

Good for you staying sober!
USE your resource circle- find a meeting-whatever!

Moving on is the only moving worth every ounce of effort!

Asta1

I agree with Barb. There doesn't have to be any animosity. Just a matter of fact type attitude. I'm sure she has other friends or relatives she can stay with. For me, there would be WAY too much tension in the house and it would be a serious trigger to drink. But you have to be true to your own feelings. Best to you.

smacked

While "good riddance" is probably a little harsh for me to say, I will also say that getting toxic people out of my life was one of the most important things I did for my recovery. I think she just created a great fresh start for you!

Tazman53

Bob she is gone, so be it. This is a blessing in disguise, if you are fresh out of rehab then I am sure you are well aware that your primary focus should be on your continueing recovery.

I would suggest you make sure that you are well enough along in your recovery to begin seeking a new relationship. In the short 3years I have been in the rooms I have seen way to many early recovery romances become full blown relapses normally with both halfs relapsing.

In the rooms I have heard it said the 2 sick people does not equal one well person!

ClosetExtrovert

Wow. That sucks. I guess the universe wanted you to be free and alone to work on your recovery. So be selfish and work on yourself and you'll have no one and nothing to stand in your way.
Good luck xxoxoxo