whyamistaying

I guess he doesn't want to leave. He has slept all of Friday and Saturday. Drinking still I suppose. Today the same thing. Hasn't said a word at all. Finally got up with a piece of paper and a pen and went for a walk to "think".

I feel back and forth. I had to file since if i kick him out I don't know what he will do and with 2 DUIs, I want to protect property. But at the same time, I do feel sad and really sad for him. It is like there is no more pull anymore. No more reason to count beers or get mad. I can see him now separate from his disease. Does that make sense? I totally underestimated this disease and the power it had on him.

Meanwhile, I controlled only what I could. I feel better, but sad it is ending this way.

intheknow

(((((hugs))))))

I don't know what to say, besides this too shall pass. I felt sadness for my RAH too, and then I realized he did it on his own.

Bernadette

It is sad. Why there has to be so much suffering in life is hard to understand. All I know is we all suffer, for different reasons and at different times. We all react differently to our own suffering and the suffering of others, and we find our own meaning in it. It can really hurt. (((((hugs)))))
B.

bookwyrm

:ghug2

It is sad. Alcoholism sucks.

ItsmeAlice

When I truly accepted that there was no going back, no fixing it, no bargening for it any more, I hit a real emotional low point. I grieved the loss of him before we ever separated. When he lost his job there was nothing holding him back from drinking all of his hours away, and my sadness only deepened because the reality was confirmed that much more.

You are not alone in feeling this way. Please take heart in that if you can.

Hugs,
Alice

PHIZ007

I totally agree with all the above...it is sad....terribly terribly sad...alcoholism does suck! For all involved!.....For me I regularly grieve for the man I love and know is in there somewhere....I grieve for my marriage....I grieve for my husband/best friend lost in the chaos of alcoholism.......
and in the midst of this sadness I still see hope for myself and my children and am making plans to begin a new life without the choas of the alcoholic. I deserve better and so do my beautiful children.......so does my beautiful husband But only he can do it for himself.......I am getting better and better at detaching and yes it is so so sad. But this to will pass.....and today is a good day for me and I hope for you too Phiz :0)

Gypsy Feet

I went to an AA meeting today, we read the chapter on wives in the big book. It was written in a different age, and the first time I read it months ago I was a little insulted by the seemingly biased attitude towards the alcoholic, at the expense of the wife.

Today I listened to it, months after I left my (ex) for the last time, and I really heard the message. My (ex) is sick. It is so terribly sad, when its not overwhelming, insulting, aggravating, humiliating or disgusting.

I know I can't live with it anymore, and I am glad I am out.

He added me as a friend on his facebook today. I believe he was inebriated at the time, still up from last night would be my guess. I hope for him someday he gets help.

tjp613

The thing that helps me in times like these is to realize that we all have our own path to walk. Our addicts/alcoholics have theirs. And we have ours. It just is what it is and we have to make the best decisions for OURSELVES because we do not help them by becoming unhealthy.

Keep walking your own path and be grateful you are capable of making healthy choices. Bless our addicts/alcoholics as they walk away from us....down their own path. Pray for them. It's all we can do, really.

isurvived

Of course he doesn't want to leave. He's had it good! The only way I was able to get mine to leave was to file a restraining order, and then the police came and escorted him out of the house.

I couldn't look back. It was a very hard thing to do. It took him by surprise. Necessary? Absolutely! Every other attempt ended up with me caving, and believing his "I'm sorry, it won't happen again if you'll just give me ONE more chance."

It's OK to be sad. Just don't let that sadness turn into sympathy — those feelings pull you back into the fray. It happened to me several times.

I'm finally FREE. And it is WONDERFUL!

gerryP

It is sad to see a person loose everything before your eyes Why, but it's his work now, only his.

Are you going to initiate communication with *him* at some point shortly and discuss a plan for yourself and children thereby keeping you moving forward ?

Hugs