Horselover

Had a friend commit suicide yesterday. She wasn't an alcoholic. She wasn't addicted to anything. She had depression and no one knew how bad it was. She leaves behind a baby of 4 months and a 4 year old daughter. Please pray for her dear family to find comfort during this time. I am beyond words over this and as I said to my dear friend, Joanie, here I would have easily picked up over this not long ago. Today I grieve, I have anger, and I pray. I will not pick up. It wouldn't help her. I am not saying this for a pat on the back, but to reassure you that you can reprogram your reactions to situations that life throws your way. You will not always drink over these things and in fact, the very thought of drinking right now repulses me. Here comes the anger.

mariechi

I'm so sorry. It's horrible to lose a friend that way. There are no words

Dee74

I'm so sorry for your friend and her family, and for you S.


D

coffeenut

Ohhhh. My heart is breaking for your friends family...and for you. Simply devastating.

Although you don't need/want a pat on the back, please know that a lot of us think so very highly of you. The way you are handling this situation is one of the reasons why.

My deepest condolences.

dojoro

I am so sorry. That is a horrible story. My thoughts and prayers go out to her family but especially those two babies.

Thank you for saying you will not pick up even in the wake of horrible news like that. I was just in the kitchen wondering if this gets easier. I hate these cravings...they are so hard. I really start questioning all of this when I crave. I was thinking if they don't stop or at least let up I will never make it. I can't do this everyday it is hard and all I did was take the boys out bike riding...I have a long way to go but it makes me feel so hopeful knowing when I get there it is easier and just better!

Thank you for helping me not drink today

Jo

least

To lose a friend to death is bad enough, but to suicide makes it unbearable. My prayers are out to your friend's family during this difficult time.:praying

Ninsuna

I am so sorry to hear of your friend's suffering and your loss. I am glad to hear though that you are finding the strength to cope.

Horselover

Thank you all. I really appreciate your post too Jo. I posted this thread for prayers because they definitely need them and to let anyone starting this journey know that you won't obsess over this addiction forever. It will blend into the background and will be replaced with healthier coping mechanisms, but today I have turned to food and so . . . I will treadmill tomorrow and deal with that tomorrow. I really am just going to allow the feelings to flow today. Love you all. Tell people how you feel please. If you are depressed don't be alone in it. Please!!

Astro

I'm so sorry to hear this. Prayers going out for her children, family, and friends during this difficult time.

Mariposa18

I'm sorry for your loss :praying

Toomutch

Prayers are going out to your friends family, and you too. You have great coping skills and I admire you.

Hevyn

It's hard to imagine being in such a dark place that our only solution is to end it. Your post is appreciated on several levels, Sarah. Maybe someone will be made aware of how devastating depression can be. Some people think it's something we can just shake off if we want to. Also, seeing that you weren't tempted to take the edge off your feelings is very encouraging. That was all I knew how to do for many years. Now I have a clear head as I tackle life and all the crazy ups & downs that go with it.

Sarah I'd like to apologize for what I said in my other message to you. I had no right to say I felt it was selfish on her part. I just kept thinking of how the person who found her would have felt, & her children down the road - knowing she won't be there to see them grow. We can't comprehend being desperate enough to want to give up on our lives, but we don't know what was going on in this woman's mind - obviously she wasn't thinking rationally or able to think about the consequences.

Prayers going up for all involved.

Horselover

Hey Joanie you owe me absolutely NO apologies. That was my reaction at first too. How could she? How could she do this to her kids and her husband? It was my friend that told me when you reach that place of desperation, all you can think is that the world would be better off without you EVEN your children. I have never been to that place and hope never to be. I couldn't put myself in those shoes and couldn't understand until my friend spelled it out for me. She has been to that place and she never let me know. It was just this past summer. For God's sake! That could have been her. I just had no idea how common it is and yet it is such a secret. I had post partum but not on that deep of a level. The secretive part makes it similar to alcoholism in my opinion. I think that saying, "You are only as sick as your secrets" rings so true to me today.

We have a mom's group going and I want to do a meeting addressing this. The group is to support moms and to give them a break and some adult conversation. I really think we need to do a meeting on this issue. Let women know they aren't alone in this and its okay to admit you need help. No one will judge you. Sorry I'm rambling. I've been rambling all day. I break into tears every so often because I can't turn off my thinking. It will get better.

mirage

So sad, I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for continuing to inspire us...:ghug3

Surlyredhead

nogard

(((hl)))

gypsytears

Prayers for you and her family & friends Horselover. I can't even begin imagine the pain you are all in. ****{Hugs}}}

Anna

I'm sorry for your loss, Horselover.

Depression is an awful illness and I'm sad that your friend wasn't able to see any hope in her life.

NewMe11109

I am sorry for your loss. We went through the same thing with my cousin, so I do understand what you are going through - in a small way. At least we have the gift to grieve with a clear mind, despite how difficult it can be.

You are an inspiration to all of us. My thoughts are with you.

Jomey

Oh, Sarah, I am so sorry for you, your friend's family and her friend. You are so strong, to be able to handle this without picking up, and to further still, reach out to me and your other friends here to make sure we aren't feeling alone. You are amazing.

Prayers for everyone involved going up right now and I'll add them into our parish intention book at Mass this morning. You pm me any time you need anything, ok?

Lots of love, Jomey