whyamistaying

I needed to do this instead of just separation. But I am so incredibly sad right now. He's already been served and knows. His response was, "So you're divorcing me?" Then he walked upstairs and has been sleeping since.

It had to be done this way. I know that. It's moving awfully fast and I am scared out of my mind. But I couldn't just sit there with his erratic behavior anymore. I owed it to my kids to protect what is ours before he financially ruins us.

I am so afraid he is going to die of this. I am amazed how strong the pull of alcohol is for him that he doesn't care that he has lost it all. I guess I was in denial too. I pray he doesn't die.

Could use some prayers tonight.

Still Waters

:praying

Hang in there, it WILL get better.

whereisthisgoin

Prayers sent. I admire your strength.

Pelican

I know you did this to protect yourself and your children. You are a good mother.

I hope you are able to rest tonight.

Prayers for you and your family

freya

It is sad....sad and hard...and hard as it is, your feeling your sadness and moving through your loss will make room for good things to come into your life...

Praying for you and your kids...

love,
freya

tigger11

(((whyamistaying)))

I'm thinking your name on SR says it all. You're a very brave woman, and I admire you! Thank God your children have YOU for a Mommy!

BuffaloGal

Prayers and hugs. Divorce hurts so much. The pain and sadness do get better, but it's a long road.

I'm afraid my former husband will have his life shortened by alcohol too. I don't intrude on his life, but I do kind of keep an eye on him from a distance, for my own peace of mind.

gerryP

Yes indeed Whyami...

You are very brave and a good Mom. You will come out the other end of this, happier and stronger and able to live the life you were meant to and deserve to.

Prayers...

CatsPajamas

This is when it's helpful to pull out all the recovery tools you can lay your hands on.

One Day at A Time
Do the next right thing
Just for Today.... etc etc. Are you able to attend any face to face meetings? I know when I was making big decisions and taking actions, it really helped to have the support I got from my recovery friends.

It's difficult, I know, but I can promise you there is light and love on the other side.

barb dwyer

*prayers for why*

but just a quick post to state that I respect your strength, to stand by a decision, and to do what is best for you..

whyamistaying

Yes, tomorrow is my Al Anon meeting at 10. I guess I wanted him to fight for us but he doesn't care. He's still asleep. It makes me so sad to see what alcohol does. I hate it. I wish this wasn't happening to him.

The crying comes and goes. I'll be okay. I feel good in my decision. I feel more bad for him...maybe that is the codependent in me.

barb dwyer

speaking as an alcoholic - we care.

we just need to keep drinking... more.

I mean, 'the ol' lady divorcing me' is a great pity-puller, ya know?

I'm trying to say -
he probably cares a lot.
He just can't make it 'bigger' than the need to keep drinking.
The desire to quit has to be at LEAST as storng as the desire to drink,
or they're not going to stay sober.

intheknow

Praying for you...stay strong and just get through the next hour, day...minute if you need to.

Your new life has just begun. Congrats!

nodaybut2day

Good for you for protecting your children. Hugs.

isurvived

Your decision is a good one. I'll pray for strength for you. I hope that you can carry it through - for the sake of your children and your future happiness. Now is the time to put the focus on you and the kids. Leave him in the past. He has his own work to do.

naive

i am relieved to hear of your decision.

oftentimes, the right thing to do and the hard thing to do are the same thing.

one day at a time. prayer will strengthen you.

i am heartened to see one more family escape the devastation of alcohol. your action will spare you and the children so much pain and perhaps will be the impetus your man needs to ask for help.

your not out of the woods, but the clearing is just ahead.

naive

gerryP

Crying is good Why....

Let your emotions flow, feel the emotions you feel, it's healthy and yes you *will* be okay.

Startingover2

oftentimes, the right thing to do and the hard thing to do are the same thing.

This is so true.

You did what you needed to protect yourself and your kids. Its not easy. It hurts like heck. But you are strong and you will keep moving forward.

Bernadette

((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
and a prayer for strength and courage...peace--b

transformyself

Prayers going up for you and your family. Soon you will not have to live with him and it will be so much easier.

thanks for this Barb. It answers so many of my questions.