splendra

I just found out from face book that one of my brothers daughters had a baby over a year ago. My mom is devastated. I am hurting over this too. I messaged her and asked if I could be her friend so I could see the pictures of the baby. So was so bubbly about the baby I saw the pictures of her baby shower and the more I saw the worse I felt. I know I should be happy but I am not I feel depressed as hell.

She told me that she did not say anything to us because her dad does drugs. Which really just sucks my mom and I don't. The thing that really hurts is that she is all loved up with my brothers ex she is not her mother btw but she remains in contact with her and all the rest of her family while completely cutting us off. Help me feel better about this please...

outonalimb

Splendra,

I'm so sorry.
Addiction tears families apart.
Peope come up with their own way of coping and it sounds like your neice decided it was best to cut off all contact with her dad's family. It sounds like she's dealing the best way she knows how and you and your mom are innocent victims.

I'm sorry it hurts so much but deep down, I'm happy for your neice that she's been able to seperate herself from your brother's addiction. Now there's something to be grateful for.

Hugs splendra.:ghug3
I'm sorry for your pain.

MrsMagoo

I'm proud of you for reaching out to her and showing interest. The drugs do tear families apart. My daughter is going to be a casualty as well. My husband is an addict and his sister hates me (I'm not really sure why because he was an addict in recovery well before he met me but blames me anyway) and consequently wants nothing to do with her neice. So the baby suffers.

Addiction just sucks but as far as you've come in your own recovery - you will make this work!

Ann

Sadly, I agree with the above, addiction destroys families. Now that you have connected with her, maybe she will share more of her life with you.

Big hugs because I'd be hurt too.

Suspicious

It is sad that you and your Mom are suffering from another way drugs hurt those around them.
((((( Splendra ))))))

splendra

I am letting it go nothing I can do about it anyway but I almost wish I had not seen....

splendra

My brothers have had babies with women who had issues too. My nieces mom drinks and has gone down a couple of times too. I am going try to stay connected with my face book niece as much as she will let me. I decided that there is no need to be hurt over it it is what it is. It did knock a scab off a wound that I had not tended to in a while.

The grand kid thing has been is a mixed bag of delights and hurts. Both my brothers have dropped the ball with their kids it is a wonder any of them still talk to them.

My oldest brother is cleaning up and getting back involved with his kids again. One of his daughters got so bad that we were afraid we were going to loose her she got so bad her children were taken away from her too. One of them is back with her now and she is working on getting the other one back in her life. She has been clean for over a year now so that is a big triumph!!

teke

sending hugs and prayers your way. i pray that things will work out for you, your mom and your niece. congrats on the new baby, and i hope that your brother continues to do good.

splendra

It hits me in waves the pain I feel missing out on the babes. I am trying to hang in there and not express any of this to my niece. I feel like it is my ex-sil, (brothers 3rd wife)(not nieces mother) that has poisoned her mind towards and instigates her to be cut off from me. My ex-sil even cut me off when she lived with my brother. My son heard her say something bad about me and he never wanted to see her again. Se was always inviting my son over just not me... I guess cause she did not want me to witness how much drinking and drugging she was doing.

My niece treats me very coyish and smart @$$ish. I am wondering if I should try to stay in contact with her cause her games and words are hurting me.

Her mom was a good friend of mine until she became involved with my brother. She is my brothers 2nd wife. I used to drink back then but, I still did not like to be around people who did coke so I lost touch with my friend. I did not want my friend to see my brother. She is good friends with my other ex sil. They may even still be doing dope themselves that is why they were involved with my brother.




writing it out I can see the game going down. May be I ought to back off before I get hurt.

Ann

Maybe listen to the little voice that is saying "wait". You have time, maybe just wait and perhaps the answer will come.

Hugs