SoberSomeone

I had a serious cocaine addiction five years ago and I went to rehab and quit. I went to NA and AA for a while with a friend and when she quit going so did I. I left rehab AMA since I freaked out at doing my fifth step. I never have completed it. I never found a sponsor. A year later I was abusing my prescribed medication. I was doing that concurrently with my anorexia (addictive behavior). I was clean for a while. I can't say sober because I never worked the steps or went to meetings. This past two years have been slip after slip. I have never gone back to cocaine, but I've had episodes of binge drinking and abusing my medicine--this one is most recent. I quit abusing it, and am thinking of going back to NA or AA. I want to work the steps and get a sponsor, but I'm worried it's not bad enough yet, that I don't qualify. I want to live a sober life. I think that's what I'm missing. Should I go back?

Wolfchild

Valleyd

Of course you should go back...you already know that!

Also, maybe I am misunderstanding your post, but are you saying that you did a fifth step without a sponsor? In my opinion (and most people's opinion) you need to get a sponsor first to guide you through the steps.

Dee74

Welcome to SR sobersomeone

I don't do AA or NA but I recognise the value of face to face support - at this point, why wouldn't you go back?

If you have a desire to stop drinking, I think thats all the qualification you need

D

thirtybubba

Welcome to SR, Sober!

I'm pretty sure Dee's right, that the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking/ using. And I don't think there's an official definition of "bad enough."

Take care of yourself now,
-TB

SoberSomeone

Valleyd, at rehab we worked the steps through worksheets and such up until the fifth step, which you were supposed to do with a temporary sponsor before you could leave. I never did my fifth step. After rehab you were supposed to get a sponsor and rework the steps with them. I never did that either. The fifth step frightens me.