tripped up

This is my first post so please be gentle.. I am married to an A and have finally come to believe that I may be just a little sicker than he is.. I have done everything short of blowin his darn head off and he still has that sick eatin grin on his face and continues to drink and smell like the town brewery. To make a long story shorter, I figured out with my overworked brain that I will spend the money so darn fast that he will not have the money to spend on booze. I know now that was WRONG.. Heck, he's got more resources to get booze than I have nerves left. Anyway I started playing the poker machines and made sure that he knew it. Thinking that would really get him worried. Nope! He gave me more money to put in them. See, I think he liked me going to the bars. So I just kept putting money in thinking that I would get a rise from him. I didn't. Now we have bills that need to get paid and we don't have it. Guess who has to get herself out of this one and probably take on another extra job ta boot ? He could care less. So the moral of this story is the three C's - can't control it , didn't cause it , and can't cure it. So, all that I accomplished was another fine mess that I have gotten myself into trying to be the flaming co-dependent that I have come to realize through Alanon that I am.

smoke gets in my eyes

Hiya tripped up and welcome!

I'll be gentle. I'll be more than gentle... I'll tell you what dumb thing I did. Ready? Tried to show the crackhead in my life what a jerk he was on crack by drinking so I could be the jerk I am when I drink.

Heeheeheeheeheeheeheeeeeeeeeeee!

So glad you joined us!

Hugs,
Smoke

tripped up

Ha ! Thanks for the reply Yep I tried that one too. Didn't work either. Have a good one and thanks again.

osier59

Hi ya tripped.

Your post made me laugh OUT LOUD. I was remembering some of the dumb things I did to show him how crazy HE was. If there had been anyone else watching or (god forbid videotaping) I swear I probably would have been committed to the psych ward.

Hang in there, keep coming back. You'll find a lot of kindred spirits here.

O59

constant

Hey tripped,

Funny how WE think we are going to teach THEM the lesson and we end up looking like the fools!!!

Welcome, come on in and share the stories.....we have all done some really "smart" things to "fix" them.

Constant

annasgirl

Oh my gosh! If I could have a penny for every hairbrained idea I had on how to "fix", "cure" or sober my A up, I would be a very wealthy woman! Looking back on them now, I am so embarrased, instead of looking like the good doc trying to save him, I mostly ended up looking like a Lucy and Ethel scheme. I have come to realize that only one person ever fixed a man, and that was Doctor Frankenstien, and look what a monster he created!

smoke gets in my eyes

Annasgirl... that is profound!!!! I want it on a bumper sticker!

tripped up

I really appreciate all of your thoughtful responses. Sometimes it gets scary because I can be more unpredictable than him. The other ME.ssssssss just start jumpin in there and OH BOY can I stir up the *$$#%^&&. Then I think ok buddy I'll show you and then there goes the marry-go-round. The problem is that if I get rid of this one I'll just go get another one! I am just starting to come down from an emotional binge,as you can tell like no others can so this is a very good place for me to hang out. You all know what I am dealing with and going through like no other HUMANS BEING. I have to keep in contact with others (like my sponsor so I can be called on my ^%&#. I have to get back into the program and do what works for me. Some one at the end of their messages has "The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your arm". I printed that one out and have it on the wall right in front of my pc. It reminds me that I am responsible for me and need to remember that my higher power has given me everything I need to take care of my needs... My sponsor is great with one liners. One of them that is a great one for me today is "You have an apple tree, why do you keep looking for peaches ?

tripped up

I love the Franky line.... I printed that one out too. I'm with you smoke gets in my eyes ! We need bumper stickers for that one. It's great

tripped up

Annasgirl, I noticed that you were here in Oregon too. I am up here near Astoria. Nice to have neighbors

mamasmitty

Hi, And welcome! Here is an idea. If you want to "spend" the money before he can drink it, why don't you just find a safe place to Hide it, THEN you would have it to spend on the bills. But I am now trying to come to the realization that when I do stupid stuff to outsmart MY A, It just causes ME more tention, So I am really starting to practice the "Letting go"! It's hard to do!

Cecilia

I wouldnt admit this in public but I tried to give mine a wakeup call by taking all his money everytime he got really trashed. I thinks thats called "rolling a drunk". LOL. I figured this would scare him. Nah.
He never even mentioned it. And I couldnt yell at him cause I couldnt admit I knew.

CATLVR

My AH has a running tab at the neighbor hood Stop N Rob!

Beer on credit...sheesh

Cecilia

I like to analyze things first and I like to weigh my options before I make a decision. Im not a very spontaneous person. I can do it but it doesnt look natural.

After my husband cheated on me he thought we had made up and things were fine. Little did he know that I was just taking my time making up my mind. Eventually I did decide to stay. Big Mistake. But thats another story.

Anyway. While I was making up my mind I curtailed my recreational shopping, refinanced the house and made a real effort to pay off the bills. I also put as many of our assets as I could in my name. I also started to clean up any other loose ends I could think of. And I started saving money secretly.

I figured if I stayed we would be in better shape financially and if I left I wouldnt have as much mess to cleanup.

tripped up

Been busy workin on me so I won't work him over