He called this morning
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 33
He called this morning
Well, I knew it would happen and sure enough at 5:00 a.m. this
morning my son called crying. Saying he was sick. He thought he
was going "manic". That is the term he uses when he is going through DTs from his drinking. Wanted me to come to the house. I told him no. I told him that he knows what is causing this, he knows what to do to make it stop and that I was not baby sitting him anymore. He wants me to come and "watch" him basically and if he starts to get violent (which has happened before) or starts to pass out, etc. then I will be there to help him.
I wasn't sure I would be able to do it but I said no. I cried for an hour after the call but I did not give in. I called him about 7:30 to see how he was doing and he said that he went back to bed. Has an upset stomach, the whole nine yards (we have had this convo many many times before).
I know this is helping him. I know that when I go over there that just sugar coats these episodes. If he thinks he can count on me to watch over him every time he gets like this then what is going to make him stop?
I am so glad I discovered this site. Just to be able to put these things into words takes such a load off of me. I feel like I have been hiding under a rock for so long and now I am finally "getting it". Thank you for listening. Thank you for the prayers. I feel like I might just make it, today at least.
morning my son called crying. Saying he was sick. He thought he
was going "manic". That is the term he uses when he is going through DTs from his drinking. Wanted me to come to the house. I told him no. I told him that he knows what is causing this, he knows what to do to make it stop and that I was not baby sitting him anymore. He wants me to come and "watch" him basically and if he starts to get violent (which has happened before) or starts to pass out, etc. then I will be there to help him.
I wasn't sure I would be able to do it but I said no. I cried for an hour after the call but I did not give in. I called him about 7:30 to see how he was doing and he said that he went back to bed. Has an upset stomach, the whole nine yards (we have had this convo many many times before).
I know this is helping him. I know that when I go over there that just sugar coats these episodes. If he thinks he can count on me to watch over him every time he gets like this then what is going to make him stop?
I am so glad I discovered this site. Just to be able to put these things into words takes such a load off of me. I feel like I have been hiding under a rock for so long and now I am finally "getting it". Thank you for listening. Thank you for the prayers. I feel like I might just make it, today at least.
Curled up in a good book...
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,542
Wow, well done for stepping back from enabling him. It must have been so hard for you - you are an inspiration! You can get through this one day at a time, sometimes on hour at a time.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
I second the notion of disconnecting the phone during normal sleep hours. Maybe just advise your son of the decision and then just do it. It might be hard at first, but it seems like you're on your way to further detaching from him and his disease.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
well done!
agree with the advice here to unplug your phone while you are sleeping. really, who needs to be woken at 5am with yet another alcoholic emergency?
the first time i stepped back from my xABF, he drank until he bled from the nose for days. i ended up collecting him at the hospital (doctor said he had to be monitored) and took him into my home and nursed him back to health. it took 10 days for the bleeding to stop.
know what he did? he went right back to drinking. he's still drinking and its two years later.
if i had to do it all over again, i would have not collected him from the hospital.
i know it's hard, but i really do believe that the only chance we have of ever getting our loved one healthy is to step back and stop enabling.
naive
agree with the advice here to unplug your phone while you are sleeping. really, who needs to be woken at 5am with yet another alcoholic emergency?
the first time i stepped back from my xABF, he drank until he bled from the nose for days. i ended up collecting him at the hospital (doctor said he had to be monitored) and took him into my home and nursed him back to health. it took 10 days for the bleeding to stop.
know what he did? he went right back to drinking. he's still drinking and its two years later.
if i had to do it all over again, i would have not collected him from the hospital.
i know it's hard, but i really do believe that the only chance we have of ever getting our loved one healthy is to step back and stop enabling.
naive
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Nothing changes if nothing changes...let it begin w/ you.
If he won't get healthy at this time...you can and must.
Have you tried al-anon? work the steps at you'll be amazed !
If he won't get healthy at this time...you can and must.
Have you tried al-anon? work the steps at you'll be amazed !
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