newnormal4me

I'm considering emptying our savings account and splitting it with AH so he can move on. I tried separating a couple of weeks ago and he stayed at different friend's houses for two nights, then came home and said he had nowhere to go with $7.

Truth is, I don't want to end our relationship, but I feel like I have to. I've put up with far too much crap over the past 5 years - just sucks since we've been together for over 18! Lots of good years and now this crap. Life stinks right now. I'm looking for some sanity and happiness again. He's just bringing me down. But I also feel sorry for him (not good I know) and I waffle between being strong and slipping back into codependency, although something in me has changed recently.

Anyway, anyone have any thoughts on this? He's not the type to binge on drugs and is more of a slow and steady pacer with it (still can't figure out how in the world), but that is the reality - and of course he drinks every friggin day. We have two beautiful children too :-( I can't imagine how splitting up is going to affect them. My son is already starting to take on a codependent kind of role, at 7! How sad...I never, ever, ever wanted this for him. My dad died from alcoholism...

breakingfree88

You know angel, you have a lot of insight, and that's wonderful. You see the impact that addiction is already having on your children. And you know what? Seperation and the drive to give them the healthy, nurturing, drug and alcohol-free environment they deserve, that's the kind of love and care I know you have for your children.

I'm proud of you and although I can't tell you for certain that something's a good idea or a bad one, from what you've shared I say go for it, girl.
The splitting up isn't the hurtful part, its sticking around and letting it kill the spirit in your children (I'm one of those children).
Thanks for sharing your story and welcome to SR.

helpformyson

Your childen need to be in a more positive atmosphere, something I did not do with my own child and the repercutions (sp?) have adversely affected him now as a young adult.

As far as feeling bad for your ah, the Goodwill and other homeless shelters do not charge to provide shelter and food. You will need the money to care for your children.

Good luck to you. I know you will make the right decisions for you and your children.
Maybe your move will shake him up enough to get help.

BohemiMamaof3

I couldn't have said it any better than BreakingFree did above.

Maggiemac

Do what you have to do to have a better life. Bless you and hope things get better for you .
Your friend,
Maggiemac