ah 'needs' money in jail?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 34
ah 'needs' money in jail?
long story short....So the AH calls from jail and asks me to call his mom from my cell...
(while he waits on the phone)...she's not home.
Then he asks me to call his dealer to send him some money. YES!!!!!
He said it was to 'pay' for protection in jail so he does not get hurt.
(BY THE WAY WE ARE IN CANADA)...he said he was the only white guy.
At first I knew this was a crock. But then I started thinking what if it wasnt.
I called the number he gave me and spoke to the dealer. Dealer said he would give him only 100$. ....AH NEVER ONCE ASKED ABOUT THE KIDS!
(WHO ARE VERY SICK WITH THE FLU...i hope not H1n1)
can you buy drugs in a canadian jail?
AH called back with a bank account number to deposit the money. I called back the dealer to let him know. He was suspicious and said it was a just to score in jail. I agree. The dealer told me of all the disgusting things my husband has been doing, the lies, the desperation. I bet my AH would pimp out my 6 yr old if he could score. I'm so livid.
the dealer likes my ah so much and wants desperatly to please him (why I dont know...my ah owes him apparently the equivalant of a small car)
my ah is satan. he's evil .
I mean real evil.
BUT i swear he was not like this before. Does addiction truelly make you evil?
what do I do now?
the dealer told me alot of other stuff that I know is true (by dates, discriptions etc...)
my husband is a dispicable person. I will never let my kids near that EVER.
what do I do. Do I basically decide my kids no longer have a dad?
I dont want to even speak to him... I think it's dangerous for the kids too.
the dealer also said that if he 'rats' out other people for some of the various crime stuff they will come after his family.
I know I should not lisen to a dealer but frankly it's more truth than I have had in months.
what do I do now?
(while he waits on the phone)...she's not home.
Then he asks me to call his dealer to send him some money. YES!!!!!
He said it was to 'pay' for protection in jail so he does not get hurt.
(BY THE WAY WE ARE IN CANADA)...he said he was the only white guy.
At first I knew this was a crock. But then I started thinking what if it wasnt.
I called the number he gave me and spoke to the dealer. Dealer said he would give him only 100$. ....AH NEVER ONCE ASKED ABOUT THE KIDS!
(WHO ARE VERY SICK WITH THE FLU...i hope not H1n1)
can you buy drugs in a canadian jail?
AH called back with a bank account number to deposit the money. I called back the dealer to let him know. He was suspicious and said it was a just to score in jail. I agree. The dealer told me of all the disgusting things my husband has been doing, the lies, the desperation. I bet my AH would pimp out my 6 yr old if he could score. I'm so livid.
the dealer likes my ah so much and wants desperatly to please him (why I dont know...my ah owes him apparently the equivalant of a small car)
my ah is satan. he's evil .
I mean real evil.
BUT i swear he was not like this before. Does addiction truelly make you evil?
what do I do now?
the dealer told me alot of other stuff that I know is true (by dates, discriptions etc...)
my husband is a dispicable person. I will never let my kids near that EVER.
what do I do. Do I basically decide my kids no longer have a dad?
I dont want to even speak to him... I think it's dangerous for the kids too.
the dealer also said that if he 'rats' out other people for some of the various crime stuff they will come after his family.
I know I should not lisen to a dealer but frankly it's more truth than I have had in months.
what do I do now?
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Stop and take a deep breath here and know that you don't have to do anything. Doing nothing is an action if it is a choice we make.
The "What If's" will get the better of you if you let them, and so will horror stories of Canadian Jails. His consequences took him there and he'll learn better just left on his own.
If you don't want anything to do with him, or want to keep him away from the children (which isn't a bad idea when someone is in active addiction), then maybe get a restraining order for when he gets out.
For the sake of your children, you may want to think about your own future and how peaceful it could be without all this chaos and crime.
Whatever you choose, we're walking with you here. Prayers for you and your kids.
Hugs
The "What If's" will get the better of you if you let them, and so will horror stories of Canadian Jails. His consequences took him there and he'll learn better just left on his own.
If you don't want anything to do with him, or want to keep him away from the children (which isn't a bad idea when someone is in active addiction), then maybe get a restraining order for when he gets out.
For the sake of your children, you may want to think about your own future and how peaceful it could be without all this chaos and crime.
Whatever you choose, we're walking with you here. Prayers for you and your kids.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
There are drugs in all prisons, everywhere.
In the U.S.,a person can be charged with aiding and abetting a crime even though the person is not present when the crime itself is committed, but has knowledge of the crime before or after the fact, and may assist in its commission through advice, actions, or financial support. I suspect Canada has similar laws.
You are on a slippery slope here and might find yourself in some serious legal trouble.
It would be a darn shame if your children lost both parents to
prison.
In the U.S.,a person can be charged with aiding and abetting a crime even though the person is not present when the crime itself is committed, but has knowledge of the crime before or after the fact, and may assist in its commission through advice, actions, or financial support. I suspect Canada has similar laws.
You are on a slippery slope here and might find yourself in some serious legal trouble.
It would be a darn shame if your children lost both parents to
prison.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 34
I'm losing it!
I just got off the phone with MIL
she just told me off.
........That's it!
NO MORE
he is dead to me
I just told son his dad is in jail.
I will never let him see him again.
I've been pushed to the edge.
I can't take it
I will take no more calls.
I dont care anymore let him die.
My kids no longer have a dad.
he's done such discusting things!!!
I'm going crazy.
....I know just calm down!
I cant!
I will make him pay. I will make his mother pay!
I have been so badly mistreated and abused.
NO MORE
I just got off the phone with MIL
she just told me off.
........That's it!
NO MORE
he is dead to me
I just told son his dad is in jail.
I will never let him see him again.
I've been pushed to the edge.
I can't take it
I will take no more calls.
I dont care anymore let him die.
My kids no longer have a dad.
he's done such discusting things!!!
I'm going crazy.
....I know just calm down!
I cant!
I will make him pay. I will make his mother pay!
I have been so badly mistreated and abused.
NO MORE
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Let go and focus on exactly what is in front of you right now... the dishes... the kids... the laundry...
Worrying and knee-jerk reactions in this situation are only going to make it worse. You are going to be fine. With him in jail, you are safe for the moment. Try to enjoy the peace and quiet.
Stay out of his problems. Don't answer the phone.
Worrying and knee-jerk reactions in this situation are only going to make it worse. You are going to be fine. With him in jail, you are safe for the moment. Try to enjoy the peace and quiet.
Stay out of his problems. Don't answer the phone.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
((Crazytrain)))
Slow down, baby.
I have done things like what you have done, and I am not in jail.
The key is to stop doing them when you figure out it is the wrong thing to do.
No more calls to the AH
No more calls to the dealer
Now, that's a good start.
Revenge only hurts me. I had to try it a few times to be sure, but yep, I was the one hurt in the long run.
I separate addiction from the addict, else I go nuts. Did you marry a disgusting man? Did you allow a disgusting man to be the father of your children? I trust that the answer to that is "no". You married a kind, gentle, fun and loving person. That man is still inside the addiction. I don't know if you will see him again, but he is in there... suffering.
We can't stop the suffering, but we can add to it. We can take on some of the suffering for ourselves, if we want. We can multiply the suffering and increase the suffering, if we participate in the addiction.
Your children are half their father... and always will be. Someone will someday say to your son that he has his daddy's smile or eyes, or hair, and if he hates his daddy... how will he feel about himself then?
I found that when I was divorced from my kids' dad I had to be TWICE as vigilant about what I said and how I said it. Yes, their daddy had hurt me very much, and deserved to be ripped by the hounds of hell into tiny little bits, then burned with acid and stood naked amongst his peers, then repeat until satisfied. But that doesn't mean my kids needed that hatred. Or those feelings.
So I had to find other places for my anger. I had to pray for the strength to not let them hear me rant against him. And you know what? Not letting those fires of rage BUILD helped me to have a calmer, sweeter life. And I didn't hurt as bad as I might have.
Your AH is in prison. Yeah, he might be using, but he also might find some recovery in there. Leave him alone and see what happens. We can't predict outcomes, and there is no such thing as coincidence.
For me, addiction in my loved ones has given me Alanon - which is a program for those who love an alcoholic (addiciton and alcoholism are the same condition) - has given me joy and peace and serenity.
I wish the same for you. ((hugs))
Slow down, baby.
I have done things like what you have done, and I am not in jail.
The key is to stop doing them when you figure out it is the wrong thing to do.
No more calls to the AH
No more calls to the dealer
Now, that's a good start.
Revenge only hurts me. I had to try it a few times to be sure, but yep, I was the one hurt in the long run.
I separate addiction from the addict, else I go nuts. Did you marry a disgusting man? Did you allow a disgusting man to be the father of your children? I trust that the answer to that is "no". You married a kind, gentle, fun and loving person. That man is still inside the addiction. I don't know if you will see him again, but he is in there... suffering.
We can't stop the suffering, but we can add to it. We can take on some of the suffering for ourselves, if we want. We can multiply the suffering and increase the suffering, if we participate in the addiction.
Your children are half their father... and always will be. Someone will someday say to your son that he has his daddy's smile or eyes, or hair, and if he hates his daddy... how will he feel about himself then?
I found that when I was divorced from my kids' dad I had to be TWICE as vigilant about what I said and how I said it. Yes, their daddy had hurt me very much, and deserved to be ripped by the hounds of hell into tiny little bits, then burned with acid and stood naked amongst his peers, then repeat until satisfied. But that doesn't mean my kids needed that hatred. Or those feelings.
So I had to find other places for my anger. I had to pray for the strength to not let them hear me rant against him. And you know what? Not letting those fires of rage BUILD helped me to have a calmer, sweeter life. And I didn't hurt as bad as I might have.
Your AH is in prison. Yeah, he might be using, but he also might find some recovery in there. Leave him alone and see what happens. We can't predict outcomes, and there is no such thing as coincidence.
For me, addiction in my loved ones has given me Alanon - which is a program for those who love an alcoholic (addiciton and alcoholism are the same condition) - has given me joy and peace and serenity.
I wish the same for you. ((hugs))
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 611
Crazy,
I understand your anger but it does no good for the children to loose you as well to this horrible disease. Take some deep breaths, be comfortable in knowing that you have the control now... the control to not answer the phone and be bothered by his chaos. The control of your own life and the beginning of repairing it.
Paying him back, making him pay, etc... will only hinder your progress and distract you from caring for your children. You will heal... his disgusting ways will dissipate with time as you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and be blessed with the gift of freedom.
You may not realize the freedom you have now.. but as you move on from day to day, you will feel stronger and stronger.
As far as the dealer, screw him. He is part of the madness and chaos. Take this as a lesson learned and to not get involved with AH illegal activities.
Keep your head up. One step at a time.
Change your phone number... it will help with the temptation to not answer it and it will help with avoiding hearing the constant ringing and numerous attempts of AH trying to call you from jail.
I understand your anger but it does no good for the children to loose you as well to this horrible disease. Take some deep breaths, be comfortable in knowing that you have the control now... the control to not answer the phone and be bothered by his chaos. The control of your own life and the beginning of repairing it.
Paying him back, making him pay, etc... will only hinder your progress and distract you from caring for your children. You will heal... his disgusting ways will dissipate with time as you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and be blessed with the gift of freedom.
You may not realize the freedom you have now.. but as you move on from day to day, you will feel stronger and stronger.
As far as the dealer, screw him. He is part of the madness and chaos. Take this as a lesson learned and to not get involved with AH illegal activities.
Keep your head up. One step at a time.
Change your phone number... it will help with the temptation to not answer it and it will help with avoiding hearing the constant ringing and numerous attempts of AH trying to call you from jail.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 34
.........thank you.............
I will stop crying............
I will not answer the phone........
I will read an extra book with the boys...........
revenge is pointless...........
I'm on the right path to get off the crazy train.....
I will stop crying............
I will not answer the phone........
I will read an extra book with the boys...........
revenge is pointless...........
I'm on the right path to get off the crazy train.....
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