Been away for awhile - finally came to this...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: 45 degrees latitude
Posts: 129
Been away for awhile - finally came to this...
Well, I had a good streak of sobriety going, and then when my best friend's dad died (whom had become a pillar of support since my own dad's death in march of '08), my drinking picked up again. I drank hard one day, tried to ween down and then straight home-detox over a few days.... got the shakes so bad I had to take little sips of booze to keep me straight all last Thursday night. That night, I decided - that's it! I'm not doing this alone again and I'm going to need support. After an entire, trembling evening on the phone, I finally got through to a facility willing to take me into detox and do some on-site counseling if I waited until Friday afternoon. I waited, and got in. So, since Friday night, I've been in a local, comfortable detox center. It took them about 60 hours of vital-checking, valium, trazadone, ice water, and snacks to get me detoxed. After that, all this afternoon I spent with a councelor. I was discharged here to my home and they faxed my paperwork to another closer facility that does both inpatient and outpatient treatment. I have my very first psychiatric appointment on this Thursday where I hope I will receive guidance as to how to proceed.
I feel scared about doing inpatient, because I would hate to have made such an investment of truly locked-down time should I ever fall off the wagon again. I'm also scared it might cost me my job. I'm getting paperwork for medical leave either today or tomorrow in the mail, and until then, I shouldn't have to attempt to go to work...... eugh, my head is just spinning.
I just felt like letting this out - I know from my past experiences with you folks that this is a safe place to do so.
I think I'll still be up for awhile, so maybe I'll get to talk so some of you soon.
Either way, have a good night.
I feel scared about doing inpatient, because I would hate to have made such an investment of truly locked-down time should I ever fall off the wagon again. I'm also scared it might cost me my job. I'm getting paperwork for medical leave either today or tomorrow in the mail, and until then, I shouldn't have to attempt to go to work...... eugh, my head is just spinning.
I just felt like letting this out - I know from my past experiences with you folks that this is a safe place to do so.
I think I'll still be up for awhile, so maybe I'll get to talk so some of you soon.
Either way, have a good night.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Welcome back.
It sounds like you have a good plan and a support network in place. I'm glad you made it back and hope that you find the support and encouragement you need to build a better life from the place you are at today.
It sounds like you have a good plan and a support network in place. I'm glad you made it back and hope that you find the support and encouragement you need to build a better life from the place you are at today.
Philippines/Canada
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Left Coast
Posts: 454
Good Job on the detox and pro help!
Inpatient was a good way of keeping me away from the drink and hit the books hard. But i had already lost my job. Many have gone through and kept there job even with support from work. You don't have to decide tonight
Inpatient was a good way of keeping me away from the drink and hit the books hard. But i had already lost my job. Many have gone through and kept there job even with support from work. You don't have to decide tonight
Musician
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: In The Swamp
Posts: 49
man.. at the same place you are with inpatient.. Don't really want to do it either,as some things will come to surface with finances and some other things. you are not alone..
welcome back friend....
welcome back friend....
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome back waterfountain, keep an open mind no matter what course you wind up taking, be honest, open minded and willing to do what ever it takes.
If they had told me stand on my head in a corner and spit poker chips when I got out of detox I would have to stay sober.
If they had told me stand on my head in a corner and spit poker chips when I got out of detox I would have to stay sober.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
I like the fact that there are a couple others here that have done inpatient as well. I did and let me tell you, it was the BEST thing I did for myself!!! I think everyone is afraid of doing it because of what it is but you'll be protected from yourself, have counseling right there and you'll get concentrated education in getting and staying sober.
Glad you're back and good luck with everything!!
Glad you're back and good luck with everything!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: 45 degrees latitude
Posts: 129
I want to thank everyone for welcoming me back
It may sound weird, but I still haven't cut off the medical band they put on my wrist since entering detox on Friday - I look at it and it steels my will to keep up my sobriety. I of course won't be able to wear it much longer.... though it is a tough material, hehe.
The most confusing and conflicting part of my discharge was the meeting with the doctor, and then the counselor. The doctor told me that from my blood test, everything was looking good, though my liver enzyme levels were "boarderline high", but that nothing was irreversible so long as I keep healthy and don't drink at all for a very, very long time, if ever again. Straight forward enough...... then my counselor basically said I was on the verge of death and that my organs were "falling appart", so that I really need to be in inpatient treatment or otherwise I would probably die.
*shakes head* that conflict of info on top of my already disappointed-in-self, low-self-esteem mindset is just too much...... I can barely function today. I went out with my ultra-supportive mom and bought easy to prepare (i.e. microwave) foods, but I'm sitting here now just counting the hours until I can meet with that psychiatrist.
More ranting above, I know, and I am sorry. But I thank you folks again for your support. I'll be here on and off the rest of the evening - my SO is meeting up with me for the first time since I checked myself into detox.
Thank you SR!
It may sound weird, but I still haven't cut off the medical band they put on my wrist since entering detox on Friday - I look at it and it steels my will to keep up my sobriety. I of course won't be able to wear it much longer.... though it is a tough material, hehe.
The most confusing and conflicting part of my discharge was the meeting with the doctor, and then the counselor. The doctor told me that from my blood test, everything was looking good, though my liver enzyme levels were "boarderline high", but that nothing was irreversible so long as I keep healthy and don't drink at all for a very, very long time, if ever again. Straight forward enough...... then my counselor basically said I was on the verge of death and that my organs were "falling appart", so that I really need to be in inpatient treatment or otherwise I would probably die.
*shakes head* that conflict of info on top of my already disappointed-in-self, low-self-esteem mindset is just too much...... I can barely function today. I went out with my ultra-supportive mom and bought easy to prepare (i.e. microwave) foods, but I'm sitting here now just counting the hours until I can meet with that psychiatrist.
More ranting above, I know, and I am sorry. But I thank you folks again for your support. I'll be here on and off the rest of the evening - my SO is meeting up with me for the first time since I checked myself into detox.
Thank you SR!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
Go with what the doctor said. You'll get a once-over when you check into rehab anyway. And I think that once you're in there, you see it's the greatest decision you've ever made. And once rehab is over, jump right into AA and get going on that program. Most rehab centers take you through the first 3 steps, but if you get out and get a sponsor, he'll probably want to do them again. Don't fight it. It pleases old sponsors. And good luck, you're on the right track.
Oh, and that job? If they're worth their salt they'll let you go to rehab. If not, at least you've got some solid sobriety to look for another one. I'd take the opportunity to go to rehab over a job anyday.
Oh, and that job? If they're worth their salt they'll let you go to rehab. If not, at least you've got some solid sobriety to look for another one. I'd take the opportunity to go to rehab over a job anyday.
Being Me for the first time
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wishek, North Dakota
Posts: 1,160
Water .............. its great to see you back agsin my friend . sucks on the situation but im really glad your takin a stand and getting some much needed help .. We have missed you around here .. least I know I have .. Was wondering what happend to you , yah just sorta stopped commin in , we all hate to think the worse when that happens . But were glad your back hun .. massive huggles and Im truly sorry bout your loss as well .
~ Endzy~
~ Endzy~
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
A taste of sobriety screws up our
drinking or using as i often heard.
You had a taste of it before u went
back out and it was that knowledge
that led u back in.
Many dont have the chance to come
back, yet u did.
I stay close to my own program just
in case something traumatic happens
in my life. I know that alcohol is cunn-
ing, baffling and powerful and can
attach me at anytime if im not
armed with a good quality program.
Notice i said quality and not quanity.
It doesnt matter how much time
sober one has because ive seen many
with good many yrs sobriety think it
was safe to return to the drink and
it didnt work.
As long as i live for today then im ok.
Yesterday is gone and u can say goodbye
to it and tomorrow hasnt come yet and
there's no gurantee it will ever.
Live for today and be thankful and grateful
for it.
drinking or using as i often heard.
You had a taste of it before u went
back out and it was that knowledge
that led u back in.
Many dont have the chance to come
back, yet u did.
I stay close to my own program just
in case something traumatic happens
in my life. I know that alcohol is cunn-
ing, baffling and powerful and can
attach me at anytime if im not
armed with a good quality program.
Notice i said quality and not quanity.
It doesnt matter how much time
sober one has because ive seen many
with good many yrs sobriety think it
was safe to return to the drink and
it didnt work.
As long as i live for today then im ok.
Yesterday is gone and u can say goodbye
to it and tomorrow hasnt come yet and
there's no gurantee it will ever.
Live for today and be thankful and grateful
for it.
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