A new perspective....update, and thanks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lancaster, PA
Posts: 852
A new perspective....update, and thanks.
Ok...
The last post I wrote, I got a lot of excellent feedback, and I thank you all immensly for that.
There were a couple of responses, that really hit home for me... impacted me.
I made a few decisions., since my posts are typically filled with drama/helplessness, I thought it would be appropriate to update all who have shared their wisdom, and kindness with me.
As some of you know, I decided to quit my career (that I loathed) (but made tons of money) to go back to school full time. To do this-- I had to bartend for flexible hours and 'decent' income. Well, this semester I took off from lack of money, I managed to complete 1 full year (have two left for my masters). I obtained a current 4.0 gpa. great for me. Now I must do something different.
Although it pains me to leave school full time, I decided to go back into 'career mode'. I realized that one major obstacle for me in financial. In theory it was nice to think that I could 'downsize' and manage... but all of this is causing me immense stress. In addition, it has caused me to be reliant on the abf for monetary gain. Ultimately, this has left me feeling powerless-- and has directly impacted my self esteem. (I joined here in Nov. 08) I had quit my career in Oct. 08..... see the puzzle?
Well, although I don't want to go back into that field.... I figured maybe it was the lesser of the evils for now. After all, I don't like bartending at all, (not only do you have to deal with a**h***S, but they are drunk a**h***s. At least in my business mode, i deal with jerks that are sober, and I make great money. In addition, I will not have to feel strapped... it's no fun wondering if a shut off notice will be in the mail when you retrieve your mail in the afternoon.
You see, right now is not a good time to sell my home... and I have a signifigant mortgage. There are obligations to my childrens education, (my daughter in college, her younger brother going to college this year also). So, I figured, between all the expenses, the economy, and a unreliable partner in life, it was time to suck it up and take care of me. I know that some may say 'follow your dreams', 'make sacrifices to go back to school', but at what cost?
I think that this is the best think I can do for me, and the people I love right now. If I am financilly secure, I won't hesitate to move forward/on with my life if that is what I need to do. In addition, my self esteem will rise immensly because feeling 'trapped' and 'powerless' allows other people to treat me as such also.
Tomorrow I have 'the new job interview'. I hope that it goes well--- (it should) the people I'm talking with have worked with me before and know my abilities.
Just in case, and extra prayer --- or positive energy thought my way would be greatly appreciated.
Finally, I'm letting all the focus off of him.... and taking back me. I will treat him the way I want to be treated. Should the day come, that the way he treats me 'back', isn't what I want, then I will deal with that. He can control what he will with his life. It's not my job to change him, only me.
Thank you all for your insight, kindness, loveingness, and your precious time.
With love,
Cess
The last post I wrote, I got a lot of excellent feedback, and I thank you all immensly for that.
There were a couple of responses, that really hit home for me... impacted me.
I made a few decisions., since my posts are typically filled with drama/helplessness, I thought it would be appropriate to update all who have shared their wisdom, and kindness with me.
As some of you know, I decided to quit my career (that I loathed) (but made tons of money) to go back to school full time. To do this-- I had to bartend for flexible hours and 'decent' income. Well, this semester I took off from lack of money, I managed to complete 1 full year (have two left for my masters). I obtained a current 4.0 gpa. great for me. Now I must do something different.
Although it pains me to leave school full time, I decided to go back into 'career mode'. I realized that one major obstacle for me in financial. In theory it was nice to think that I could 'downsize' and manage... but all of this is causing me immense stress. In addition, it has caused me to be reliant on the abf for monetary gain. Ultimately, this has left me feeling powerless-- and has directly impacted my self esteem. (I joined here in Nov. 08) I had quit my career in Oct. 08..... see the puzzle?
Well, although I don't want to go back into that field.... I figured maybe it was the lesser of the evils for now. After all, I don't like bartending at all, (not only do you have to deal with a**h***S, but they are drunk a**h***s. At least in my business mode, i deal with jerks that are sober, and I make great money. In addition, I will not have to feel strapped... it's no fun wondering if a shut off notice will be in the mail when you retrieve your mail in the afternoon.
You see, right now is not a good time to sell my home... and I have a signifigant mortgage. There are obligations to my childrens education, (my daughter in college, her younger brother going to college this year also). So, I figured, between all the expenses, the economy, and a unreliable partner in life, it was time to suck it up and take care of me. I know that some may say 'follow your dreams', 'make sacrifices to go back to school', but at what cost?
I think that this is the best think I can do for me, and the people I love right now. If I am financilly secure, I won't hesitate to move forward/on with my life if that is what I need to do. In addition, my self esteem will rise immensly because feeling 'trapped' and 'powerless' allows other people to treat me as such also.
Tomorrow I have 'the new job interview'. I hope that it goes well--- (it should) the people I'm talking with have worked with me before and know my abilities.
Just in case, and extra prayer --- or positive energy thought my way would be greatly appreciated.
Finally, I'm letting all the focus off of him.... and taking back me. I will treat him the way I want to be treated. Should the day come, that the way he treats me 'back', isn't what I want, then I will deal with that. He can control what he will with his life. It's not my job to change him, only me.
Thank you all for your insight, kindness, loveingness, and your precious time.
With love,
Cess
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 718
Your life sounds alot like mine. I made some big decisions to leave a great paying, but not so great job a few years ago. Meanwhile, my AH continued to be in my life and things started to spiral. I was doing what I wanted to do career wise for the first time in a long time and was happy with that and it also gave me time to get my priorities straight. Husband out now. I love what I do right now, but financially it's not the smartest decision I ever made. I finally got to the point in my life where I said, "it's just money, I'll make it work... I need peace" and now I am feeling a ton of stress because of finances. I am also thinking about "sucking it up" and going back to work in a more stressful, albeit higher paying job. Which is worse.... financial stress or working in a job you don't like???? Guess I need to weight that and also remember it doesn't have to be a forever thing. Hang in there, Cess WE will get through this like the many other things we have made it through!!! Best of luck with the interview if this the "for now" choice.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Cess, I am such a believer that life takes us where we are supposed to go...even if it isn't the direction we had our sights set on. At worst it has given me an interesting journey and at best it has taken me places beyond my dreams.
I trust life today, and when my path needs to be changed, sometimes I just show up and let life happen.
Good luck today, and good luck in letting yourself be led.
Hugs
I trust life today, and when my path needs to be changed, sometimes I just show up and let life happen.
Good luck today, and good luck in letting yourself be led.
Hugs
aka Miss Scarlett O'Hara
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 364
Good for you for taking control of your life and doing what is best for you. It sounds like you've really thought this through and it sounds like it's a step in the right direction for you. Good luck with the interview!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Achieving/restoring financial independence is powerful.
Furthering your own education can continue at a slower pace.
Increasing the security of your own financial future is more important than paying for your kid's education.
Furthering your own education can continue at a slower pace.
Increasing the security of your own financial future is more important than paying for your kid's education.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lancaster, PA
Posts: 852
Well heeellllooooo everyone!
I was so excited to see your responses and well wishes/prayers tonight!! THANK YOU!!!
I met with my old boss today, and it seemed to go well. He said that I would hear from him by the end of the day today, (which is evening in our business). Finally 8 hours gripping my cell phone ended.... I kept putting it down, saying to myself, "let it be Cess.... if it was meant to be it will".
Around 8:30 p.m. the call came in--- he spoke with the owners, and it's a-go. I go back on Wednesday to finalize the offer, make sure this is both what we want-- expectations etc.
I have tomorrow to mull over if this is definately the direction I want to go in.
Ironically, I stumbled upon an old classmate from college tonight (funny what life throws at you).
He and I spoke about what I'm doing/contemplating. His reaction was as follows: "oh no... please keep plugging along, you are/were so passionate about school, and what you wanted to do with your life... you were inspirational to all of us!"
HMMMMMM..........................
Food for thought.
Unfortunately he dosen't know the whole situation.... and he is 20 something, I'm 40. I have responsiblities and need to do what is best for me. Although we ALL have established that 'money' isn't everything..... I was living a certain 'lifestlye' and now have to be responsible enough to either continue paying for that (house etc.) or to bail.
I don't think that 'bailing' right now is good. Health insurance is a big plus.... (something you don't get bartending)... the money, etc. I think school will just have to come at a slower pace. Perhaps I can get some satisfaction by doing this job (the new one) in conjuction with voulenteer work. (I was trying to complete my mastes in Social Work) to have a private practice working with hospice/terminally ill - and their families).
Business vs. people. Well unfortunately society pays us for business, and to work with people will take me a lot of time and money for starters (schoool) --- volunteering might be a good happy medium.
Please keep me in your thoughts for Wednesday..... let what's best for me guide me. Thats all I ask.
Thank YOU ALL SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much.
Your cyber-friendship/support has meant the world to me.
Love,
Cess
I was so excited to see your responses and well wishes/prayers tonight!! THANK YOU!!!
I met with my old boss today, and it seemed to go well. He said that I would hear from him by the end of the day today, (which is evening in our business). Finally 8 hours gripping my cell phone ended.... I kept putting it down, saying to myself, "let it be Cess.... if it was meant to be it will".
Around 8:30 p.m. the call came in--- he spoke with the owners, and it's a-go. I go back on Wednesday to finalize the offer, make sure this is both what we want-- expectations etc.
I have tomorrow to mull over if this is definately the direction I want to go in.
Ironically, I stumbled upon an old classmate from college tonight (funny what life throws at you).
He and I spoke about what I'm doing/contemplating. His reaction was as follows: "oh no... please keep plugging along, you are/were so passionate about school, and what you wanted to do with your life... you were inspirational to all of us!"
HMMMMMM..........................
Food for thought.
Unfortunately he dosen't know the whole situation.... and he is 20 something, I'm 40. I have responsiblities and need to do what is best for me. Although we ALL have established that 'money' isn't everything..... I was living a certain 'lifestlye' and now have to be responsible enough to either continue paying for that (house etc.) or to bail.
I don't think that 'bailing' right now is good. Health insurance is a big plus.... (something you don't get bartending)... the money, etc. I think school will just have to come at a slower pace. Perhaps I can get some satisfaction by doing this job (the new one) in conjuction with voulenteer work. (I was trying to complete my mastes in Social Work) to have a private practice working with hospice/terminally ill - and their families).
Business vs. people. Well unfortunately society pays us for business, and to work with people will take me a lot of time and money for starters (schoool) --- volunteering might be a good happy medium.
Please keep me in your thoughts for Wednesday..... let what's best for me guide me. Thats all I ask.
Thank YOU ALL SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much.
Your cyber-friendship/support has meant the world to me.
Love,
Cess
aka Miss Scarlett O'Hara
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 364
Hey Cessy
Congrats to you! Just keep in mind that if you take this job, it's not the end of possibilities for schooling. Maybe you just need to do this for a year or two to get back on your feet and then you can return to school. Or maybe you can take some night classes and keep plugging away at it that way. There are options for you. I'm glad you have some time to really think about it and make sure you're making the right decision.
Congrats to you! Just keep in mind that if you take this job, it's not the end of possibilities for schooling. Maybe you just need to do this for a year or two to get back on your feet and then you can return to school. Or maybe you can take some night classes and keep plugging away at it that way. There are options for you. I'm glad you have some time to really think about it and make sure you're making the right decision.
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