Anxiety attack
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Anxiety attack
On my way to a previous neighbors house for a pumpkin carving party. right down the street from where AH lives.
I need to start getting the rest of my stuff from that house. There is a lot of it. I fled, literally and left tons of stuff.
He's at work. I thought, "I'll just text him and let him know I'm going over there to get a car load of things."
Now I"m on the verge of a serious anxiety attack. Just going there when he's gone makes me feel like throwing up. What will I find? What if another woman is there? Will I go through his stuff and find something disgusting, proof of another woman being there or god knows what? Anything is possible with this guy. It's none of my business anyway.
I really seriously need to start getting my stuff from that house and don't have any money, so doubling up on trips to the next city will save gas money.
But my GOD the anxiety I feel. I'm going to have to get over it and get my butt over there. it's my stuff and I need and want it. Maybe I should do it when he's there, to eliminate my compulsion to snoop? But I don't want to deal with him either.
ARghhh...maybe it's time for another dose of clonopin (anxiety meds). I took a half tablet yesterday and it fixed me right up...
I need to start getting the rest of my stuff from that house. There is a lot of it. I fled, literally and left tons of stuff.
He's at work. I thought, "I'll just text him and let him know I'm going over there to get a car load of things."
Now I"m on the verge of a serious anxiety attack. Just going there when he's gone makes me feel like throwing up. What will I find? What if another woman is there? Will I go through his stuff and find something disgusting, proof of another woman being there or god knows what? Anything is possible with this guy. It's none of my business anyway.
I really seriously need to start getting my stuff from that house and don't have any money, so doubling up on trips to the next city will save gas money.
But my GOD the anxiety I feel. I'm going to have to get over it and get my butt over there. it's my stuff and I need and want it. Maybe I should do it when he's there, to eliminate my compulsion to snoop? But I don't want to deal with him either.
ARghhh...maybe it's time for another dose of clonopin (anxiety meds). I took a half tablet yesterday and it fixed me right up...
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Did you text him yet?
If not, I would wait. I found it helpful not to act on impulse. If I had a sudden thought, I gave myself 48-72 hours to ponder and play the tape forward. By the time 48-72 hours passed, my HP usually shows me a better way.
If not, I would wait. I found it helpful not to act on impulse. If I had a sudden thought, I gave myself 48-72 hours to ponder and play the tape forward. By the time 48-72 hours passed, my HP usually shows me a better way.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 47
Take a breath... It sounds like you are on your way to a party - go and enjoy yourself. Do you need to pick up your stuff now? Would it be safer to go with a friend to pick up your stuff, if that was me I would feel comfort in having back up.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
If you already sent the text, you can change your mind.
Send another apologizing for the last minute decision, and offer to set up a more convenient date in the future.
Set a date and discuss it the next time you transfer the children. This prevents unneccessary contact in-between visitation appointments.
Nothing here that can't be undone to salvage your sanity.
Enjoy your day with the great pumpkin!
Send another apologizing for the last minute decision, and offer to set up a more convenient date in the future.
Set a date and discuss it the next time you transfer the children. This prevents unneccessary contact in-between visitation appointments.
Nothing here that can't be undone to salvage your sanity.
Enjoy your day with the great pumpkin!
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
That was great. Good friends, tons of kids with knives hacking at pumpkings, bonfire, I interviewed my friends mother and mother in law (ages 61 and 64) asking the question: when have you consciously and dramatically changed the course of your life? How did you do it?
I didn't even think about AH. Much. He called when I got home and left a voicemail complaining about work and asking if i could loan him any money. Amazing what clarity distance brings.
And I didn't go to my house. I won't either until I'm steel clad.
I didn't even think about AH. Much. He called when I got home and left a voicemail complaining about work and asking if i could loan him any money. Amazing what clarity distance brings.
And I didn't go to my house. I won't either until I'm steel clad.
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