Awareness is WOW, fantastic!!
I grew my wings to fly...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: STATE OF CONTENTMENT
Posts: 289
Awareness is WOW, fantastic!!
I have been coming to this board for a year this month. In a years time I have been through the ringer times 1000. (as we each have).
The awareness that I have come to know, that I have received from being a part of this 'family', is beyond anything I have imagined.
The axbf said something to me yesterday, when I said I didn't want him back in my life, that hit me like a ton of bricks. He said.. 'now that YOU are healthy, you have no room in your life for someone unhealthy.. like me'. BINGO!!.. I couldn't have said it better if I had thought of it.
Then to take it a step further, I had a new (like 2 weeks new, but I had known him from college) friend who kept pushing for more then friendship and I had said this from day one, that I didn't want anything more then friendship at this point in my life. He called me yesterday ATTACKING my religious beliefs, saying woah.. you are more screwed up then I am but I am willing to stick by your side so you are not alone. that I SHOULD do this.. or I SHOULD do that... or say this, or say that.... because HE wants an intimate relationship with me, and if it is going to happen that I needed to do these certain things... I said, LISTEN HERE I told you I didn't want a relationship with you other then a friendship, and now I do not want your friendship, DO NOT CALL MY HOUSE AGAIN!.
I hung up the phone. I left the house for 3 hours to do errands.. and he called me 8 times, leaving full length messages. My son looked at me with his eyes wide open and said, we need to do something about that crazy person! The phone rang again, it was him, I picked it up and said. DO NOT CALL MY HOUSE AGAIN, I TOLD YOU this already. He said, you will be alone a LONG time with that attitude.. I hung up the phone. (MIND YOU THIS IS A PERSON I HAVE KNOWN FOR 2 WEEKS!!) he proceeded to call back 4 more times, acting as if I didn't say a word, again leaving lengthy messages on my VM. Next step is calling the police!!..
Anyway, my point in all of this is what I have learnt about MYSELF, and about what to accept and not accept over this last year. All of you here at SR are great! We each come from different backgrounds but we stand on the same ground!.
Oh.. one more thing.. I am day 6 with no SMOKING!!.. yeah!!.. I have learnt so much about addiction that I have decided to give up my own addiction to cigs!. At least then I can appreciate the struggle from all sides.
The awareness that I have come to know, that I have received from being a part of this 'family', is beyond anything I have imagined.
The axbf said something to me yesterday, when I said I didn't want him back in my life, that hit me like a ton of bricks. He said.. 'now that YOU are healthy, you have no room in your life for someone unhealthy.. like me'. BINGO!!.. I couldn't have said it better if I had thought of it.
Then to take it a step further, I had a new (like 2 weeks new, but I had known him from college) friend who kept pushing for more then friendship and I had said this from day one, that I didn't want anything more then friendship at this point in my life. He called me yesterday ATTACKING my religious beliefs, saying woah.. you are more screwed up then I am but I am willing to stick by your side so you are not alone. that I SHOULD do this.. or I SHOULD do that... or say this, or say that.... because HE wants an intimate relationship with me, and if it is going to happen that I needed to do these certain things... I said, LISTEN HERE I told you I didn't want a relationship with you other then a friendship, and now I do not want your friendship, DO NOT CALL MY HOUSE AGAIN!.
I hung up the phone. I left the house for 3 hours to do errands.. and he called me 8 times, leaving full length messages. My son looked at me with his eyes wide open and said, we need to do something about that crazy person! The phone rang again, it was him, I picked it up and said. DO NOT CALL MY HOUSE AGAIN, I TOLD YOU this already. He said, you will be alone a LONG time with that attitude.. I hung up the phone. (MIND YOU THIS IS A PERSON I HAVE KNOWN FOR 2 WEEKS!!) he proceeded to call back 4 more times, acting as if I didn't say a word, again leaving lengthy messages on my VM. Next step is calling the police!!..
Anyway, my point in all of this is what I have learnt about MYSELF, and about what to accept and not accept over this last year. All of you here at SR are great! We each come from different backgrounds but we stand on the same ground!.
Oh.. one more thing.. I am day 6 with no SMOKING!!.. yeah!!.. I have learnt so much about addiction that I have decided to give up my own addiction to cigs!. At least then I can appreciate the struggle from all sides.
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
Good for you on many levels. Extra kudos on teaching your son invaluable lessons on what is not acceptable. BTW, I quit smoking almost three years ago, no slip ups just cold turkey and determination, good for you. Helps to keep you humble and be more objective I think. Also, that guy is one scary nut case.. be careful.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Freebird, you amaze and delight me every day....you've come so far. Thanks so much for this post!
Save all those messages. It'll help you get a restraining order, should you need one. It helped me.
Save all those messages. It'll help you get a restraining order, should you need one. It helped me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 72
Originally Posted by FreeBird09 
Oh.. one more thing.. I am day 6 with no SMOKING!!.. yeah!!.. I have learnt so much about addiction that I have decided to give up my own addiction to cigs!. At least then I can appreciate the struggle from all sides.
Awesome! Congratulations! I know when I quit a few months ago I felt that same way. So released. So free! Keep it up. It is awesome. And what helped me a lot and still helps me today is that if you see somebody smoke and you get that feeling oh I just want that one, remember. That poor chap will have to have another one in an hour, and then another one and then another one...It is an addiction!!!!!!
I grew my wings to fly...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: STATE OF CONTENTMENT
Posts: 289
Jazzman, re quitting smoking, I looked at it this way, I was requesting and praying that the axbf gave up his addiction but hadn't looked at myself. I know cigs is not the same, but an addiction is just that!. I need to do this for one more pull of 'strength' to overcome. Also, that guy.. yeah total nutcase!! I was awake all night looking out the window, BUT I can't let him take away any of my 'living' time too!.
GiveLove, thank you so much.
Canuckch... that is what I thought about last night when I was with friends and they were smoking like a train. It was SOOOO.. hard to not give in, but I was more proud of myself that I was able to sit there and NOT give in to MY addiction.
imtheidiot... thanks, I pray often that my 'guts' don't get me into a heap of trouble I can't dig my way out of. I think I tend to talk to the wrong people, and attract weirdo's.... BUT the thing about it is... at least I am weeding them out quickly instead of YEARS later when my self esteem takes a downward spiral (yet again!).
GiveLove, thank you so much.
Canuckch... that is what I thought about last night when I was with friends and they were smoking like a train. It was SOOOO.. hard to not give in, but I was more proud of myself that I was able to sit there and NOT give in to MY addiction.
imtheidiot... thanks, I pray often that my 'guts' don't get me into a heap of trouble I can't dig my way out of. I think I tend to talk to the wrong people, and attract weirdo's.... BUT the thing about it is... at least I am weeding them out quickly instead of YEARS later when my self esteem takes a downward spiral (yet again!).
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Top post FreeBird. Just doing a memo to myself,
"Do NOT annoy FreeBird while still quiting smoking cold turkey".
Yes, time to bring up big guns (cops) and let this twerp know you mean it.
As for his "you will be alone a LONG time with that attitude", well hey there it that keeps twitts out of the picture, it looks good to me.
God bless
"Do NOT annoy FreeBird while still quiting smoking cold turkey".
Yes, time to bring up big guns (cops) and let this twerp know you mean it.
As for his "you will be alone a LONG time with that attitude", well hey there it that keeps twitts out of the picture, it looks good to me.
God bless
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