Update... went through with it

Old 10-22-2009, 06:48 PM
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Update... went through with it

So I did ask him to leave yesterday, though not in the way I imagined it. I walked into my apartment with my infant to find him shooting heroin in the bathroom. I know talking to someone who is high is a bad idea but I just wanted him out. I kept my cool for a few hours, finally offered to drive him to a rehab that said they would take him, but he was unresponsive, just laying on the bathroom floor. So I told him I was worried and wanted to call 911 and that got a response. We started talking and I finally asked him to leave and he blew up at me, attacked me, destroyed my phone and tried to lock me in the bathroom, saying he was going to kill himself in the living room. I managed to get out and called the cops. He sped off and hasn't been back since. The police said he was arrested in another township for DWI, but was released to "his friend." I'm actually doing really well, happy to come home to a quiet apartment. I figure God willing he will get in touch when he is ready, and in the meantime I am going to live my life and enjoy the quiet. I don't know if he will ever get better but at least I am not living with it. I am afraid for his life, but I also know that it is out of my hands and all I can do is pray and focus on myself.
Keep us (all) in your prayers, as I keep you all in mine
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Old 10-22-2009, 06:58 PM
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Emjoy your peace and quiet. That's when I learned the most about myself. You and baby deserve better. Prayers for you two tonight and a big hug coming your way.
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Old 10-22-2009, 07:24 PM
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Sometimes the universe has to give us a nasty push from behind to get us to make a change that we've been secretly plotting. All the plotting in the world won't work if we never make that big move. I'm speaking of my own experience. I put off leaving my A until the chips were finally down and I had to sink or swim. I have had to really paddle to keep my head above water, but it has been worth it.

Congrats to you for looking out for yourself and your baby!! Your new life has begun!

Alice
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Old 10-23-2009, 02:48 AM
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Ann
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Like Alice suggested, I know that it often takes that big push to get me moving sometimes too. I remember one time my phone rang, somehow my son's cell had been nudged to redial or something to make it connect to mine, unknown to him. I heard him making his "deal" and getting his drugs and I remember wanting to hang up so bad but was just frozen in fear listening. I think God needed me to hear that. They say coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous, and there is no doubt in my mind that the phone call was no coincidence.

That was one of the times when I was able to face head on exactly what I was dealing with and I knew that I could not live like that anymore.

Not only is he an addict, he is violent and out of control and your safety and the safety of your baby may depend on keeping a distance between you, even while you decide what you want to do next. Addiction escalates, domestic violence escalates, next time you may not be so lucky as to get away alive.

My prayers go out for you and your baby.

Hugs
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Old 10-23-2009, 10:20 AM
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grateful rca
 
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so glad to hear you are doing well and is finally feeling some peace. i will keep you and your family in my prayers.
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Old 10-23-2009, 10:52 AM
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Good for you. Although we can sit around and plan and plan how things are going to play out, often God has another idea and His ideas are always better than anything we can come up with on our own.

Enjoy your peace. Enjoy your baby. Consider a restraining order if he comes back with more threats, or even apologies. He most likely will be back and you need to be ready. This is probably not over yet (though we all pray that it is).

Have a serene weekend!
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Old 10-23-2009, 12:07 PM
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They rarely leave easily or the first time. My ex had a hard time staying gone. This is an awesome time to right down your boundaries and the consequences for violating them if he shows up again.. It makes it easier to follow through on your plan.

911 is a great answer if he threatens you in anyway. My ex did not like that one bit. I never actually had to dial it. I just held the cell phone in my hand with my fingers poised on the buttons in case I needed too.
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