Notices

30daysTomorrowandMadandUpset

Old 10-19-2009, 01:35 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
i've done my almost
Thread Starter
 
Kjell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
30daysTomorrowandMadandUpset

Tomorrow I get to pick up my 30 day chip.

I should be happy about that, right? I'm not, I'm mad and upset.

I've admitted that I have a problem (and have plenty of fact to support this) and I do not think I'll ever be able to drink again. Just wanted to make that clear.

...but what a mess I've made. I guess there will still be plenty of pain that will surface after years of making this mess.

It's hard to not be jealous of other people. It's hard to not feel sorry for myself. It's hard to see the "light at the end of the tunnel".

This is gonna be a tough, long uphill climb, isn't it?
Kjell is offline  
Old 10-19-2009, 01:39 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Heathen
 
smacked's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
It is tough, but so so worth it.

Hang in there!!
smacked is offline  
Old 10-19-2009, 01:41 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,673
It might be a tough uphill climb, but at least you're moving up, not down. Hang in there. Sobriety is well worth the effort. It DOES get better, I promise. Congrats on your 30 days!:ghug3
least is offline  
Old 10-19-2009, 05:32 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,416
kjell, I felt just like you do in the beginning. I even talked myself into drinking again because I couldn't see feeling that way forever. What I didn't realize is, those negative feelings don't stay that intense. That hopeless feeling won't last. Everything eases up as you go along. There are many different phases you'll go through. You are at the most difficult point right now, in my opinion. It looks like a long and somber road you're about to travel, but I promise you it feels much better with time, and the sun will shine in your life once again.

At least you know where you're headed - to a better day. You aren't stuck in the living hell of addiction with no way out and no hope. You've been brave enough to face the truth about yourself and your drinking and you should be proud of that. Do not be discouraged.
Hevyn is offline  
Old 10-19-2009, 06:00 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
What you are feeling is perfectly normal. Throw out the rule book that says you 'should' be happy. Do your best to stay on course and to trust in the process. Many of us have been where you are and we do understand. Keep posting and reaching out and share what you're going through - you aren't alone.
Rowan is offline  
Old 10-19-2009, 06:52 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Disposable Hero
 
Wolfchild's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
Why not follow up your decision to stay sober
with willingness to work and live the 12 Steps?

BTW~ it's as hard or as easy as you make it.

congrats on your continued sobriety!!
Wolfchild is offline  
Old 10-19-2009, 07:49 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
joedris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
Kjell, Yeah, it's going to be hard. Part of the reason is that you're having to deal with issues without your crutch - the bottle. Now you have to deal with life on life's terms and in the beginning that is not an easy task. If you're picking up a 30 days chip then it looks like you're in AA (and congratulations on the 30 days, by the way). The program of AA will teach you not only physical sobriety (not drinking) but also emotional sobriety. And it's the emotional sobriety that is the key to recovery as that's how we learn to deal with life on life's terms.

In the section "How It Works" in the Big Book, it says that some of thought we could find an easier, softer way. AA is the easier, softer way. But it's certainly not easy nor is it soft. It's a simple program but a difficult one. Your anger is common in early recovery as you begin to see the mess you made. But you're not alone here. We've all been through that. As you work through the steps you'll find it easier to deal with the past, and learning from our previous mistakes is a big part of recovery. So don't worry too much about the emotional upheaval you're going through right now. It'll pass. The important thing right now is to find a sponsor, even if it's a temporary sponsor, to advise and guide you. And don't be jealous of anyone else; you don't really know what they're going through. Just focus on your own recovery. It's an uphill climb for sure, but you'll find that there's a lot of help available for you to make it to the top.
joedris is offline  
Old 10-19-2009, 07:52 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Well, I'm on my way
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: El Paso, Texas
Posts: 276
Hang tough. It will get better.
mariechi is offline  
Old 10-19-2009, 09:16 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
CarolD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740

I sure did not arrive in AA singing and danceing.
I never planned on being an alcoholic certainly did not
expect to find a room full of strangers to be important.

me.....AA turned out to be an awesome adventure in living.

You don't have to pick up the 30 day chip
Tho I hope upi will.

Congratulations on your sober time....
CarolD is offline  
Old 10-20-2009, 05:49 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
i've done my almost
Thread Starter
 
Kjell's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
Thanks everyone. Your comments really do help.

I am working the steps and I do have a sponsor. I understand why some choose not to use AA, but for me, it's a blessing to have those rooms and that support as well as the support I find here on SR.

I am grateful for both forums.
Kjell is offline  
Old 10-20-2009, 03:45 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,055
Congrats Kjell - I know you've struggled - I'm very pleased for you.

The way I looked at it in the early days - I drank for years - it was gonna take a lot more than 30 days to sort it all out...and it did LOL...but it's probably the best thing I ever did

hang in there
D
Dee74 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:57 AM.