Shivaya

Hello All,
Remember me? Well...after 1 full year in and out of court, my divorce is finalized! I am at peace, as are my children...

I am sharing custody with EXAH, and strive for minimal contact...all necessary communication is done via email.

I sold our home, moved into a condo, and have created the home I've always wanted for my children and I. Good energy, positive influences all around...lots of love and attention, kind words, healthy activities...no TV (yes...I did it and my children have learned to live with it!), no alcohol, no screaming, no fighting.

It feels wonderful to be me...I am dating and enjoying being treated like a lady, with respect, kindness and understanding. It is so refreshing to have an intelligent conversation, a spiritual connection and some fun!

I am not going to lie...the journey was tear-filled, stressful, frustrating, scary...as well as...knowing why I was doing what I was, continuing to work towards my goal of breaking the cycle of alcoholism and co-dependency in my family, knowing that "this too shall pass", having a strong faith and relying on that daily for strength, having an amazing network of family & friends who supported me through the worst and the best...knowing that my journey was worth the pain, as I am now living the life I am meant to!

The folks here at SR played an important role in helping me understand my co-dependency, and I continue to keep a "close eye" on myself so as not so slip into this type of behavior.

This site was also invaluably helpful in showing me that I am not alone in this journey, that others have experienced much of the things I have (as do all partners/spouses of alcoholics), that I am not the horrible person the EXAH worked so very hard at making me believe I was....the list goes on!

Bless all of us dealing with this devastating disease, and give courage, strength and hope to those trying to remove themselves from the cycle of alcoholism.

Shivaya

Daisy30

Hi! SHIVAYA!!!
I remember you!! Great to hear your update!

I did this too when we moved into our house!. It is so freeing, isn't it. MOre time to focus on the kiddos

You ESH is so valuable to me right now as I have just filed for divorce and I am struggling.

Thanks!!!
Keep posting we can all learn from your ESH

NewChapter

SHIVAYA: Thanks for your post. You are where I hope to be sometime next year. Your courage and joy comes through and it's great to see--gives me hope that my children and I will get through what's ahead and will not just survive but will thrive.

Congratulations and thanks for sharing.

LaTeeDa

So glad you came back to update us.

L

GiveLove

Hey, Shivaya, great to "see" you !!!!!!!

Thanks for sharing your update with us. Yours was a long, rough road and I'm so happy to hear that you have chosen serenity, and serenity has chosen you

abcdefg

I remember you, too, Shivaya! I'm so glad to hear about the new chapter in your life and that you and the kids are enjoying serenity!

Chrysalis123

I remember you too and it is great to hear from you! Thanks for your wonderful update.

bookwyrm

Congratulations! You are an inspiration!

peaceteach

Excellent! You sound amazing, Shivaya! Good for you, good for your kids. Take care

NYC_Chick

Hi Shivaya! Congrats! I'm happy for you. You sound amazing!

Bernadette

Hi Shivaya! Great news and what a positive vibe just emanating from your post!! You've really done right by yourself and your kids, I remember all the struggle and financial worries you had that kept you sometimes stuck in your head....but you found a way to make a peaceful life happen-- that is so inspiring.

Continued peace & joy to you and the family!
peace-
b

p.s. we have no television - and my kids whined and complained off and on - but they are both big readers and puzzlers and love to draw, maybe they would have been anyway - but I think the lack of instant entertainment helped. But OMG the endless board games in the winter! ;-)