Question
Being Silent so I can Hear
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
You mean the difference between being a selfish b*tch and being a strong healthy individual? 
Doing what you need to do to be healthy physically and emotionally isn't selfish, it's healthy.
Doing what you need to do to be healthy physically and emotionally isn't selfish, it's healthy.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Originally Posted by MissFixit 
Something like that. I thought that stating your boundaries made you healthy, but some view it as self absorbed not to put up with another's BS.
I am in charge of deciding where that boundary is, no one else.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
I had this same thought last week. I am dating an AA fellow, and his salvation is doing for others. I'm thinking "heck, I'm PRO at doing for others, that's what I am recovering from" haha. For right now, I am in healing mode. I am focusing on what I need to be healthy spiritually. physically, emotional and mentally.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
Hi Gypsy,
I understand. Focusing on MY wants and needs for the first time in a looonnng time. Someone told me he thought I was self absorbed to always be thinking about what I want. Damn. I spent over a decade completely focused on my two exes. My life revolved around them. Now trying to figure out what I want and moving towards that. Seems that people like the old me better....I need to work on not letting those remarks get to me.
I understand. Focusing on MY wants and needs for the first time in a looonnng time. Someone told me he thought I was self absorbed to always be thinking about what I want. Damn. I spent over a decade completely focused on my two exes. My life revolved around them. Now trying to figure out what I want and moving towards that. Seems that people like the old me better....I need to work on not letting those remarks get to me.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Ah yes, it has been precisely that need for acceptance that has got me ignoring what is best for ME!
Also I have noticed as I change, my choice of friends changes and also the kind of people that is interested in me. And that is a huge change, I think my pattern was to attract people who were interested in what they could obtain!! SHEESH!
Sometimes I wonder how I made it without such BASIC tools?
HUGS!
Also I have noticed as I change, my choice of friends changes and also the kind of people that is interested in me. And that is a huge change, I think my pattern was to attract people who were interested in what they could obtain!! SHEESH!
Sometimes I wonder how I made it without such BASIC tools?
HUGS!
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Also for what is worth, I like you more now. I know you are no longer suffering.
We went through similar things at the same time.
Its really sinking in we are better off and we were spared much more pain.
It seems we made it to the other side, Miss :ghug3
We went through similar things at the same time.
Its really sinking in we are better off and we were spared much more pain.
It seems we made it to the other side, Miss :ghug3
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