honoryourself

I know I'm posting a ton today, but I have questions.. sorry!!

I've read some on setting boundaries and making sure you enforce them. I don't quite understand, in my case, how to set/enforce boundaries, because I can't seem to come up with any consequences.

What are the kinds of boundaries I can even make at this point?
I've considered different things that I find intolerable-- lying, passive aggressive behavior/sulking/withdrawing love to manipulate me into being nice to him to try to get him happy again, responding with anger / telling me I'm overreacting or being ridiculous and refusing to have a discussion over something I feel, etc.

Now I'm thinking, these boundaries get trampled every day. So what is the consequence. If these things aren't OK for me, then what do I do? Just leave? That's all I can come up with.. leave the house. Or threaten divorce, but that's pretty pointless and sounds 'empty' anyway.
I don't have children I need to protect.. and AH doesn't drive drunk, so those kinds of things aren't boundaries I need to set.

Can anyone give me examples of boundaries they've set and what they used to "enforce" them, or what they used as the consequences? Is it really just a matter of removing yourself from the situation if a person does something to cross the line? Then, when do you allow yourself to interact with them again? If you keep going back and they keep treating you the same way, you're not really protecting your boundaries I guess. Seems more like you're letting them do what they want each time with no consequence.

Ago

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...oundaries.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-my-words.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...are-store.html

Hope this helps

basically there is a TON of helpful stuff in the Stickies, the steps, the classic reading, truly a ton of recovery to be found there

I just had to learn that boundaries weren't behavior modification tools but ways in which I could protect myself, took about 20 years, slippery concept

honoryourself

Thanks, that's a lot of good info.. a lot of it I have read in other places before. I will have to come back and read more again!