The Alcoholic and Sex
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Join Date: Sep 2007
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The Alcoholic and Sex
I have a question regarding alcoholism and sex. How does an alcoholic cheat if they drink non-stop all day every day? I read that long term drinking will make you impotent and also lose your desire for sex. If this is true then how or why do they cheat if they have no desire for sex or if they can't get an erection? Just curious.
I keep hearing alcohol and sex go hand in hand.
I keep hearing alcohol and sex go hand in hand.
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
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Does it really matter, GoodKarma? The details of the physical act are _not_ the issue. Having been cheated on by me ex-wife, that is the _least_ of my concerns. It's the betrayal of trust that is the deal-breaker to me.
It doesn't matter how many drugs she took, or which ones, or how often. It was her _behavior_ towards me that destroyed our marriage. It doesn't matter how many guys she went out with, or which ones, or how often. It was her betrayal of trust that destroyed our marriage.
Am I making sense with that?
Mike
It doesn't matter how many drugs she took, or which ones, or how often. It was her _behavior_ towards me that destroyed our marriage. It doesn't matter how many guys she went out with, or which ones, or how often. It was her betrayal of trust that destroyed our marriage.
Am I making sense with that?
Mike
Detached since 10.13.09
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: NW Illinois
Posts: 20
My XABF who drinks all day every day, had no problems 'keeping it up' - in fact, he was only really in the mood when he was thoroughly saturated... had to talk really dirty though to keep it going, which was a big turn off for me.
I believe alcohol and sex do go hand in hand, but it just depends on the person.
I believe alcohol and sex do go hand in hand, but it just depends on the person.
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
I hate to say it but in my opinion, alcohol and sex do go hand-in-hand. I'm no doctor but I think probably the information you were reading about alcoholism and impotence applies in very late, late-stage alcoholism.
Every time I read a post about it or think about how people who are addicted and alcoholic so stereotypically cheat, for some reason it just makes me want to throw up. I'm not able to change this reaction. I hate it.
Every time I read a post about it or think about how people who are addicted and alcoholic so stereotypically cheat, for some reason it just makes me want to throw up. I'm not able to change this reaction. I hate it.
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 530
In my exah's case he seemed to seek his external validation the most when he was drinking. He needed to feel like a stud or something. Not sure what happened with the other women he was with but 99% of the time 'it' wouldn't work..he would get frustrated and make it my problem to keep him going. Yuck. Makes me sick to even think about. I am sure it was the same when he was cheating as well. He was disgustingly inappropriate.
My exah also will take any prescription drug he can get his hands on too. I would always wonder why he would be surprised when 'it' wouldn't work after taking Soma (muscle relaxer). No Duh!
My exah also will take any prescription drug he can get his hands on too. I would always wonder why he would be surprised when 'it' wouldn't work after taking Soma (muscle relaxer). No Duh!
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 611
Impotence definitely happened with my RBF who is an opiate addict but this is a common side effect to using Heroin. I haven't really heard of alcohol being related to impotence.
Cheating also doesn't have to mean intercourse. There are plenty of ways to cheat. I'll let you fill in the details.
Cheating also doesn't have to mean intercourse. There are plenty of ways to cheat. I'll let you fill in the details.
LOL
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Someplace USA
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Just in the two husbands I've had; they seem to feel they have the right to cheat because I don't agree with them. Their "friends" are usually like minded addicts who stroke their ego and tell them they are right. I've only owned two so my experiance is limited...
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
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Originally Posted by brundle 
I've only owned two so my experiance is limited...
In my experience, he always wanted sex when drunk, but rarely followed thru on his desires. Couldn't? Probably. And the fact that by then I was so fed up with him he slept on the couch, or passed out on the floor. But he definitely talked the talk.
Only stepping forward
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Alabama, USA
Posts: 330
Mine lost his desire after awhile, though he admits the most of it was because he had to pee all the time (kidney's failing) and he couldn't keep it up. Six bucks at any local convenience store solved that though (OTC "Viagra" wannabe).
Of course, he'd NEVER admit it was the case a day causing it.
Of course, he'd NEVER admit it was the case a day causing it.
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 633
My EXAH was impotent for the entire 2nd half of our marriage (over 8 years). It of course was all my fault not the 18 beers a night. I was too fat, when I lost weight I was "not affectionate enough". He has told anyone who will listen (including DS15) that I divorced him because I just want sex. :wtf2
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
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Ugh I avoided this thread because it's so triggery but it's freaking hilarious and has hit the nail right on it's "head."
I agree with everything said here-my AH thought he should run out and get external validation because I didn't agree with him too. But he always came back and said the sex made him feel worse and he only wanted me. Our sex life was never lacking but in the end I couldn't get over his escapades. I can't get past them, no matter how hard I try. Too much damage. The only thing that helps me feel better is NC. He's slept with 3 other women since we've been married! What a jerk.
Especially after his affair and essentially living with the drunk piece of garbage he worked with for 4 months before begging his way home. Then he wouldn't stop talking to her. What a fool I was. I mostly try to not even go here, but lately it has been affecting me. I think I'm spending too much time with him. Like any time at all is too much time.
Mike, thank you for this. I needed it this morning.
I agree with everything said here-my AH thought he should run out and get external validation because I didn't agree with him too. But he always came back and said the sex made him feel worse and he only wanted me. Our sex life was never lacking but in the end I couldn't get over his escapades. I can't get past them, no matter how hard I try. Too much damage. The only thing that helps me feel better is NC. He's slept with 3 other women since we've been married! What a jerk.
Especially after his affair and essentially living with the drunk piece of garbage he worked with for 4 months before begging his way home. Then he wouldn't stop talking to her. What a fool I was. I mostly try to not even go here, but lately it has been affecting me. I think I'm spending too much time with him. Like any time at all is too much time.
It doesn't matter how many drugs she took, or which ones, or how often. It was her _behavior_ towards me that destroyed our marriage. It doesn't matter how many guys she went out with, or which ones, or how often. It was her betrayal of trust that destroyed our marriage.
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Transformy-Lady
You and I have been going thru the same thing. HE just keeps doing the SAME things over and over and over. He lives in some other world, on some other planet. He's very very sick. Makes me want to throw up. More importantly, however, is why is there no smilie for throwing up?
And yes, I had to learn by trial and error over the course of at least a year, by backing myself SLOWLY out of contact with that person, that he cannot be in my life in ANY sort of relationship no matter how LIMITED and no matter how hard I try. :horse Because his sickness is just so pervasive there is absolutely NO WAY for me to be unaffected by what he chooses to do.
It's HARDER for YOU because you have kids with this person and, therefore, so many more responsibilities
and reasons for contact with him than me.
Maybe some ladies here can offer advice on ways to have NECESSARY contact with that person but at the same time managing to be less affected by his sickness?
You and I have been going thru the same thing. HE just keeps doing the SAME things over and over and over. He lives in some other world, on some other planet. He's very very sick. Makes me want to throw up. More importantly, however, is why is there no smilie for throwing up?
And yes, I had to learn by trial and error over the course of at least a year, by backing myself SLOWLY out of contact with that person, that he cannot be in my life in ANY sort of relationship no matter how LIMITED and no matter how hard I try. :horse Because his sickness is just so pervasive there is absolutely NO WAY for me to be unaffected by what he chooses to do.
It's HARDER for YOU because you have kids with this person and, therefore, so many more responsibilities
and reasons for contact with him than me. Maybe some ladies here can offer advice on ways to have NECESSARY contact with that person but at the same time managing to be less affected by his sickness?
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