aasharon90

Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.

By the grace of my HP and people
like you here in SR I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.

For that and you I am truely
grateful.

In recovery we go thru different
stages of change.

We begin from the birth change
to full adults. Infancy to maturity.

As we change so do our thoughts,
behaviors, ambitions. All part of
the growth change.

When you were young u saw
tv shows or read comic books,
read magazines and thought of
what you'd like to be when u
grew up.

At the time I had no idea of
really what i wanted to do or
be except what I was good at.

And that was to be a stay
at home mom and raise my
children which I ultimately did.

Over the past 19 yrs sober, i
raised my children, ended a
25 yr marriage, remarried,
and got my motorcycle endorse-
ment.

Today im reflecting on this
question of.........

WHO I was and now want to be
in my life.

WHAT I had and now Want in my
life.

And lastly.....
WHY I want to be whatever or
whoever in my life.

For instance...i was a stay at
home mom doing the mom thing.

Today im in recovery and now
Id like to be a ...lol.....dont laugh...
but a body builder.

Strong, yet feminine.

Ive always admired men with
the Arnold Swartzenigger(SP)
physique.

Loaded pecs, arms, chest, legs...
but mostly arms.

Now that u get the picture, i
think, can you share the WHO
WHAT and Why of WHATEVER
OR WHOEVER you'd like to be
today.

lulamay

Good luck to you, too.
I was unhappy in my skin and always have been to some extent; I'd like to find that happiness within. That feeling of being settled and quite happy without needing a drink to get there. Being able to go for a country walk without thinking more about if there is going to be a pub at the end of it! x

aasharon90

Thanks lulamay.

Happiness within does take
time and work and can be
achieved one day at a time.

A country walk sounds awesome.

And is even more wonderful
when ur not under the enfluence
of anything but life itself.

Fall is here and the leaves r
beginning to turn and fall from
the trees.

I lived in Houston with my little
family for about 10 yrs. and while
missing my own hometown of
Baton Rouge, i found an awesome
park there to go to for jogs, walks,
serenity and solitude.

Having this outlet for my peace
of mind was a gift and today I
miss it because ive returned
to my home town and cant
find a place like that here
just yet.

Once i got off that merry go
round of craving alcohol and
began to heal and live with a
recovery program then i was
able to know a new freedom
and happiness.

Now i can see clearly thru the
fog and admire the beautiful Fall
colors of the leaves and trees.

That's alot to make anyone feel
grateful to be alive to enjoy what
recovery has to offer.

aasharon90

I was a girl that wasnt popular in
school. I was a girl that tried to
fit in the best I could living under
a cloud of physical and verbal
abuse.

I went to school and got picked
on and tried to use the saying,
"sticks and stones my break my
bones but woeds will never hurt
or harm me."

Or if kids stared at me, id tell
them, "take a picture it will last
longer."

In 9th grade i went home to
practice punching a pillow and
lifting heavy things to get ready
for my fight on the parking lot .

The bus pulled up as i slapped
the u know what out of a
bully and the kids cheered for
me as a winner. YES..!

Ive always battled my ups and
down with my appearance and
thus was inspired early on by
a former boyfriend who lifted
weights.

That was way back in the 70's
and my inspiration of him still
runs high.

I just bought 3 new Muscle and
fitness types of mags for more
inspiration.

I was weak back then but today
I want to conti. on the path
of health and strength in recovery.

It is definitely a self esteem booster.

Astro

Boy did that ever hit home for me Sharon. I was a fat kid with a spaghetti bowl haircut, buck teeth, and braces to straighten 'em out. I played the cello when all the other kids played electric guitar, and you could definitely tell my mother dressed me.

And just as I've heard people share so many times....at 14 I discovered alcohol.....it filled that hole in my soul and made me feel bulletproof, just like Superman. Suddenly I fit in, except in looking back I only wanted to isolate so I went through much of life being a loner, and wanting to drink alone.

I wanted to be a recording engineer, then I changed my mind and wanted to be a forest or park ranger, I loved the outdoors. But again, alcohol changed my dreams. I became a bartender at 19 so I could drink all day long for free, when I got fired a year later I got into construction, I became an apprentice plumber and got paid enough to support my addictions, and I've stayed in that industry ever since then.

Sobriety has opened up so many possibilities. My job is just a job, it's not my dream and never will be, but it gives me the freedom and income to live a quiet and fulfilling life. Who am I now? I'm Scott, proud father to two amazing children, fiance to a beautiful and intelligent woman. God and AA have given me a life so full that sometimes it's hard to fit everything in. But one day at a time, I'll live it to the best of my ability and seek to do God's will for me.

aasharon90

That was an awesome and inspiring share.

We're right where we need to be at this
date and time in our lives.

Much appreciated Scott.