Damaged82

Hey kids. I hate that I have to write and run right now, but I'll check back a little later. First of all, I tried to compromise. I tried to think about what I would feel if I was in his position...and I'd probably be peeved too if someone told me I couldn't do something I enjoyed. So, he kept complaining that he got so horrible b/c he had to chug it all before I got home and had to hide it from me. (I know, I think it's a load of crap, too...) So, I've been more lenient, setting different limitations. Not alone, and not driving while intoxicated. So far, it's worked. He only has a couple drinks when we're out with friends and can control himself. The other night, Monday night football...our team vs. the Eagles....HUGE game. Of course we bought beer, we were all drinking a little bit. But, then he got carried away and turned into that jerk I know. I couldn't stand to look at him, I was so annoyed and betrayed....but my sister and bro in law were there to A) take my mind off of him B) to see what it was that I was talking about...what part of him makes me so upset. He threw up and passed out once we got home. I let him stay on the couch while I slept peacefully in the bed. He urinated on himself (again)...he does THAT too when he gets too drunk like that. But, he feels like a horses patootie and is rather embarrassed. I've got to admit that him being so embarrassed and upset with himself b/c he let me down again, it kinda' feels a lot better than him trying to play like nothing happened.

Just thought I'd share. It's still happening, but at least I havent' had to deal with it on my own, and that a Huge step in a healthier direction for both of us. But I still won't stop trying. And, I'll find a meeting sooner or later. Thanks for listening. *hugz* ~Damaged

CATLVR

Hi Damaged,

Sorry you had to witness your A make a A out of himself yet again (sigh).

That's great that you have your sister and her hubby support you. Wish I could say the same. The last time my A sister was over she got drunk on wine, made a pass at my A then barfed in my living room:dead: Needless to say, she is no longer welcomed in my home. I have forgivin her behavior since she is an A and bipolor. I just want her to get better and value herself.

When my A comes home drunk, I sleep with one ear and eye open. He has a habit of pissing in closets, so I have to get up when I hear him and lead him to the john. I wake up a wreck...
What a Life!!!

I admire your determination...and thanks for sharing.

Take Care, Cindy

jessieandme2003

Hey, my AH also came home really drunk a couple times and pissed himself. Unfortunately he did it while we were asleep in bed so I discovered it by getting wet!
EEEEEWWWWWWWWW!

I was SO angry and disgusted I would lay into him like there was no tomorrow. I would yell and scream and curse and put him down in every way I could think of. WHat insane behavior. He'd just look embarassed, then laugh, then eventually get mad at me for going on about it.

I never told anyone because I was so ashamed of him. And because I was so ashamed of myself for putting up with it and staying. It is amazing the things I accepted as part of everyday life with my AH while he was active.

Damaged82

See, my AH and I have an odd relationship, but a great friendship. I respect him, MOST of the time. The only person I've ever told about the lack of bladder control was my sister b/c she's dealt w/ several AH's before and has been in so many similar situations that I am experiencing for my first time. The first time it happened, it was the first day I moved down here and we had a few drinks and fell asleep on the couch. I woke up the next morning soaked and was mortified b/c I thought I had done it, even though I only dribble when I laugh too hard. There were stains all over his fouton from "his dog peeing on it a bunch". The second time it happened, I knew it was him. I was disgusted (yet relieved it wasn't me) and embarrassed for him. I never talk to him about it, it's got to be humiliating enough for him to be a 27 year old man waking up in a puddle of his own mess. I'm so disgusted by it, and it is embarrassing admitting that I'm choosing to stay with a man that drinks, passes out, and pisses all over the bed, himself, and sometimes me. Sometimes I think I'm embarrassed by his behavior enough for the both of us. He has been getting better about it all. He hasn't been as mean. The other night was a fluke, and don't think he intended to become that beligerant. He's been teased enough and is rather embarrassed that not only I, but his friends and "in laws" saw him like that. A little humiliation is all I ask for sometimes, it makes people realize how others REALLY see them when they're so fuzzy they can't remember a thing that happened.