Am I running...?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
Am I running...?
Hi Everyone,
I posted a few back, I am taking my boys and going to Mexico for Christmas. I told them Sunday and showed them some pictures. They were so taken back, really overwhelmed. I felt such joy in my heart to see them so WOW!
I made the desision really suddenly, (Oh no regrets, I am excited as well). Certain times of the year still haunt me at times. As the weather made it's change in the later part of September, I could feel I was getting a bit on edge. Halloween coming, Canadian Thanksgiving and then Christmas. At the start of this mess, was the End of Sept, right until the call from the RCMP calling Dec 21st telling me that my husband is up on charges for armed robbery and he is now in their custody. The end of Sept is when I found out he was on crack, Halloween is when I caught him with the prositute on our boat, Thanksgiving it was the first no show from him in 22 years. Christmas he was in jail and for days I spent at my moms, in bed while she looked after the boys.
It all just came down to the smell in the air and really triggering Christmas coming up that really made me shake my head and not won't to deal with it this year. This is coming up to 7 years and the thought of it, was no no no.! I guess I just didn't think I could deal with it this year, last year was the 1st year without mom, plus one of my best friends who shared the holidays with us, passed away this pasted July.
I didn't even give myself a chance to think it, I was afraid to live it.
Am I running or trying to make knew smells, I don't know. But like I said, I have no regrets, I could have taken them in Jan or Feb, they would have been just as excited, they are 18 and 20 so not being home for Santa is the thing of the past. I know that I was not feeling so good about this holiday season coming up and it is still so very early.
Rose
I posted a few back, I am taking my boys and going to Mexico for Christmas. I told them Sunday and showed them some pictures. They were so taken back, really overwhelmed. I felt such joy in my heart to see them so WOW!
I made the desision really suddenly, (Oh no regrets, I am excited as well). Certain times of the year still haunt me at times. As the weather made it's change in the later part of September, I could feel I was getting a bit on edge. Halloween coming, Canadian Thanksgiving and then Christmas. At the start of this mess, was the End of Sept, right until the call from the RCMP calling Dec 21st telling me that my husband is up on charges for armed robbery and he is now in their custody. The end of Sept is when I found out he was on crack, Halloween is when I caught him with the prositute on our boat, Thanksgiving it was the first no show from him in 22 years. Christmas he was in jail and for days I spent at my moms, in bed while she looked after the boys.
It all just came down to the smell in the air and really triggering Christmas coming up that really made me shake my head and not won't to deal with it this year. This is coming up to 7 years and the thought of it, was no no no.! I guess I just didn't think I could deal with it this year, last year was the 1st year without mom, plus one of my best friends who shared the holidays with us, passed away this pasted July.
I didn't even give myself a chance to think it, I was afraid to live it.
Am I running or trying to make knew smells, I don't know. But like I said, I have no regrets, I could have taken them in Jan or Feb, they would have been just as excited, they are 18 and 20 so not being home for Santa is the thing of the past. I know that I was not feeling so good about this holiday season coming up and it is still so very early.
Rose
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I think making new memories is an excellent idea, Rose. It's not "running" when we are aware of what's going on and we decide to change things so that the pattern will not seem to repeat. I still get triggered too sometimes, and when I am aware of what triggers the bad feeling, I can try to change it and let it go quickly as "just a trigger".
You and your boys have had enough rough years, it's time for some fun in the sun.
Hugs
You and your boys have had enough rough years, it's time for some fun in the sun.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: buffalo ny
Posts: 167
I think what you're doing is very positive. Addicts are told they have change People, Places and Things. And so do we. Doing something fun with your family is creating new memories. You will have a great time.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 102
ROSE this is a great idea!! I spent christmas in mexico with my family one year as well. I dont think your running away I agree with above posts that your creating new memories and doing FUN and happy things. 
It's crazy how a new year begins and throughout the course you can remember so clear the things that took place the year before.. I am vividly remember what I went through last sept/oct with my ex right now and im trying to keep saying "this is your chance to live the past over" not dealing with any negatives and problems anything bringing you down. You have been through SO MUCH and deserve nothing but happiness from here on Rose I know your a strong, beautiful women and you and your boys are going to have an amazing vacation!! xo
It's crazy how a new year begins and throughout the course you can remember so clear the things that took place the year before.. I am vividly remember what I went through last sept/oct with my ex right now and im trying to keep saying "this is your chance to live the past over" not dealing with any negatives and problems anything bringing you down. You have been through SO MUCH and deserve nothing but happiness from here on Rose I know your a strong, beautiful women and you and your boys are going to have an amazing vacation!! xo
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Rose,
I have planned a vacation over Thanksgiving for the last two years. I wasn't running, just treating myself to some R&R at a time that triggers sadness for me.
You are creating new smells and new memories, and giving your boys an opportunity to experience something they may not ever again get to experience.
Wow...do you realize how far you and the boys have come?
Relax and enjoy...you deserve it.
I have planned a vacation over Thanksgiving for the last two years. I wasn't running, just treating myself to some R&R at a time that triggers sadness for me.
You are creating new smells and new memories, and giving your boys an opportunity to experience something they may not ever again get to experience.
Wow...do you realize how far you and the boys have come?
Relax and enjoy...you deserve it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in my own world~
Posts: 1,237
Hi Rose, Sounds like a wonderful plan to me and running away from bad memories is a good thing. Who "really" wants to hang on to them. Not a healthy thing to do. You and your boys will have a wonderful time and make new memories. Have fun and don't pack all those summer clothes away. Hugs, Bonnie
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,307
Rose... lets say you ARE running? Man - you are running somewhere AWESOME!!!! Heck... I did the same thing with my boys this summer. I HAD to think of something fun and exciting to balance out the sadness. Ya know?
It is so cool that your boys are 18 and 20 and they are super stoked to go as a family. Not to generalize, but boys at this age typically would not be so keen to go with their mom on a vacation! lol It just goes to show YOU what an AWESOME mom you are!!!!
Take LOTS and LOTS of pictures ...... and LIVE IT UP!!!!
Wahooo!!!!
Heck... I did the same thing with my boys this summer. I HAD to think of something fun and exciting to balance out the sadness. Ya know? It is so cool that your boys are 18 and 20 and they are super stoked to go as a family. Not to generalize, but boys at this age typically would not be so keen to go with their mom on a vacation! lol It just goes to show YOU what an AWESOME mom you are!!!!
Take LOTS and LOTS of pictures ...... and LIVE IT UP!!!!
Wahooo!!!!
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Rose I think this is a WONDERFUL idea!!!!
When I got sober, I had terrible memories of all Holidays, going all the way back to childhood. In sobriety I learned how to make NEW memories and today have some pretty darn good ones, and not just about Holidays.
Mexico for Christmas sounds GREAT! Can I go too? rofl Good idea!
Go for it!!!!
Love and hugs,
When I got sober, I had terrible memories of all Holidays, going all the way back to childhood. In sobriety I learned how to make NEW memories and today have some pretty darn good ones, and not just about Holidays.
Mexico for Christmas sounds GREAT! Can I go too? rofl Good idea!
Go for it!!!!
Love and hugs,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Hope Land
Posts: 666
Oh Thanks Everyone so much for the support,
I have no doubt that we will have a great time, though they will probably ditch me when we get there!
Really though, I just feel that after 6 years I should not have these overwhelming feelings, thoughts maybe, but those emotionally gut wrenching feelings that still get triggered from the turn of the season. Starting from the end of Sept. dreading for Dec. to come, with all the family celebrations, Christmas work parties. I can hardly wait for January to come so it is all done and over with, where most people dread January.
Something still is lingering deep down inside of me, that is why I feel that I am running from it and not dealing with it.
Rose
I have no doubt that we will have a great time, though they will probably ditch me when we get there!
Really though, I just feel that after 6 years I should not have these overwhelming feelings, thoughts maybe, but those emotionally gut wrenching feelings that still get triggered from the turn of the season. Starting from the end of Sept. dreading for Dec. to come, with all the family celebrations, Christmas work parties. I can hardly wait for January to come so it is all done and over with, where most people dread January.
Something still is lingering deep down inside of me, that is why I feel that I am running from it and not dealing with it.
Rose
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