This is my Story....

Old 09-30-2009, 04:38 PM
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This is my Story....

Hi, My Name is Rachel. I am a wife of a recovering addict. My husband was addicted to painkillers. He has chosen to get help for himself, and I am so supportive of this. He is going to a Methadone clinic, seeing a councelor, and we as a couple are going to marriage counceling. This idea of treatment is all very new to us both. I am scared, but hopeful. I have felt so alone for so long. I have no friends, and slowly I feel as if my needs/wants/dreams have been put aside. It is hard comeing to the realization that we are powerless over the addiction. I want what is best for myself, my husband, and my marriage. I know I am powerless over his addiction, and that his choices are his to make, and mine are mine to make. How to you cope? How do you learn How do you get past the hurt, distrust, anger, and resentment?
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Old 09-30-2009, 05:30 PM
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the girl can't help it
 
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hey there tigger0309-

Welcome! There is no easy answers to the questions you asked take it one day at a time, one breath at the time, one second at the time. You can only do so much be gentle with yourself. It is so hard living with addiction and recovery from it too. Stick around and get acquainted.
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Old 09-30-2009, 05:35 PM
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Welcome....I'm glad that you have found us. This site has been a wonderful addition to my recovery. The "sticky's" at the top of the forum are particularly helpful. My husband is also in recovery and I well remember when all of this was new to me too. I didn't know where to begin.

Naranon and Alanon face to face meetings have really helped me a lot. I realized that I am definitely not alone. Other people are going through the same things that you are and there is a wonderful community and opportunities for fellowship. Working my own recovery program is what helps me to cope with all of the emotions that you are speakiing of.

Keep reading and let us get to know you!
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Old 09-30-2009, 05:41 PM
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Welcome!!!

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.
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Old 09-30-2009, 06:26 PM
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I am the wife of a recovering heroin addict…I remember the insanity of the early days, right before I went on a quest to find help for him and realized real quick I needed help.

The road can be long, and slow but I found it awesome to watch…
It was slow and a bit relentless (all my own doing) on my side as well, but worth the trip!

To get past everything I had to work on me. And then work some more…It was a learning experience I needed.
Any resentment I had was so me, not a real nice part either, and I sure as hell used them in the most twisted of ways…
The anger, I don’t know if I had much, I think a bit different it so made sense to me that my husband used, really now he was an addict…
The hurt I had to put in its place, once I really removed the focus off him I could so see where my reactions made to much sense for me.
Trust I am smiling, as I trust my husband will do exactly what he wishes to do…I tend to be the same…

I really tried to stay and still do make sure I am way out of the way. He is a big boy and can certainly take care of himself and his recovery. I take care of me and my end of things….in terms of together we will have a real good chance of a wonderful life if we both keep taking care of ourselves. I do really think it is the only way a relationship can work if both sides get healthy and work on them.

I also don’t place limits on things, don’t set anything one way. I am adult enough to know that my husband can seek out support his way, and I sure as hell do mine. We both have good support systems very separate and very different from each other.

Do not allow addiction to steal from you … well actually that should probably read do not give away yourself to the addiction, because in essence that is what we do…
Seek out your hopes and dreams again, make new ones, pull out the old one. They are worth it, you are worth them!
Educate yourself on addiction, on codependency.
Find a good support system because you are so not alone…
Get back into life and live it, slowly if you need to, and be gentle with yourself.

Take good care of you and good luck to both of you.

Inciting Silence
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Old 09-30-2009, 10:02 PM
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welcome to sr. the addict in my life is my husband. glad to hear that you both are in recovery. i pray that both of you continue moving forward. keep posting and reading, check out the alanon/naranon meetings in your area and try attending a few for yourself. i know the road hasn't been easy but it does get better. you and yours are in my prayers.
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Old 09-30-2009, 10:30 PM
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Hi Rachel, I'm glad you found this site. My husband has a drug addiction and believe me, I've felt many of the same emotions that you describe. I'm glad that you are both getting help, but it's not an easy process. Educate yourself as much as you can on addictions, recovery and co-dependency. I totally understand what you mean when you talk about loneliness and I'm sorry you are going through that. Don't let the addiction drag you down. Do not put your goals/dreams on hold, keep working towards achieving them, and keep coming back to Sober Recovery. This site and the members have helped me many times.
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