worthyoflove

If there is one thing that drives me up a wall, it is when someone projects something onto me that is not true. I am in another recovery program and have talked to another member once in a while. She called me a few weeks ago and mentioned the member who is running the program. She mentioned that he runs a really good meeting, which I agreed. Something didn't seem quite right, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Well, a week ago she called me and asked me if I thought he was a good looking guy. I felt like I was being backed into a corner and didn't know what to say, so I said "Yeah". I called my sponsor and she told me not to answer anyone's questions, but instead to respond, "Why do you ask?". I feel very angry and I don't know what she was up to, but I don't like it one bit. I left her a message and told her I don't want to communicate with her any further. I am not sure what to think about this whole situation. It really pisses me off that I go into a recovery program to work on my situation, NOT TO FIND A DATE!!!! Yet, this is the second time this has happened. I'm sick of it. Just needed to vent!!! Aaaargh!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for reading.

harleyd101

Worthyoflove, don't let these "pigeon fu##*@s" scare you off. Some like to call them 13th steppers, but you did the right thing in cutting contact with this woman. I surrounded myself with strong women who have a lot of sobriety, and I just don't play this game in the program. Some are sickers than others, and let me tell you, some of the sickest are at meetings!! You know the signs, and you can politely tell them (as I have done many times) "I'm here for recovery, not a relationship". Please don't let this scare you off. I wonder what kind of a program she is working that she would pass that a long to you?! Remember, if you want what someone else has, you have to do what they do....and if you see the flipside to this, if you see someone that talks to talk but doesn't walk the walk.....run. Stick to those that are working a program, not just talking a program. Big hugs!!!!

GiveLove

worthy,

Congrats: You have just removed yourself effectively from the corner. You did exactly the right thing, you've recognized that that kind of behavior p***es you off, and you acted to remove an irritant from your life.

So.....deep breath. Keep working on your own recovery - you're doing great!

worthyoflove

Thank you for your encouragement and support. It's very disheartening to have this happen when you are there for recovery.

harleyd101

Your doing great! You set a boundry with that woman and you don't have to let this affect your recovery!!! You are healthy enough to recognize what you want and what you don't want!!! Kuddo's to you my friend!!!

worthyoflove

Thanks Harley.

GiveLove

I know...it sucks.

But there are cr@ppy people all over the world...you will meet them every day.

Learning to wash off the poop from their bad behavior as quickly as possible and get on with your life is a skill that has helped me sooooo much. (I think a less juvenile person than I might call it "detachment") Hoping you give yourself kudos for Right Action and have a better day.

worthyoflove

Thanks Givelove. I'm moving forward and letting it go. Thanks for allowing me to get it out.

Jadmack25

Look on this woman as representing all those who are toxic or a pain in the rear end for you.
Practice detachment, saying NO, whatever.........till you have it down perfectly.

At least using her this way makes her of benefit to you.

God bless