My Bday and guess what?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Hong Kong
Posts: 55
My Bday and guess what?
Today was my Bday and we went out to celebrate with some friends having dinner and then we went to a bar to blow the candles.
I know that is not a good place to take my AH but it was my Bday and my friends, so I decided to do it that way.
Everything was so fine until I wanted to get home, because was late (like midnight) and I was tired because I am pregnant. His eyes turned into another guy, he was acting like another one saying that he doesn't want to go home, so we have a fight, we yell each other... Was horrible.
I cannot imagine when will this stop. I cannot go anywhere with him, even staying with him at home because he is drinking almost every night.
I just pray that maybe someday he can see the light and change for his own good. Hope this day come soon.
I know that is not a good place to take my AH but it was my Bday and my friends, so I decided to do it that way.
Everything was so fine until I wanted to get home, because was late (like midnight) and I was tired because I am pregnant. His eyes turned into another guy, he was acting like another one saying that he doesn't want to go home, so we have a fight, we yell each other... Was horrible.
I cannot imagine when will this stop. I cannot go anywhere with him, even staying with him at home because he is drinking almost every night.
I just pray that maybe someday he can see the light and change for his own good. Hope this day come soon.
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Carrollton TX
Posts: 466
Well, I just wanted to say Happy Birthday!! I'm sorry your night turned out disappointing... I remember when every holiday/birthday was a frickin' nightmare for me. I hope you at least had a good time with your friends! Maybe you can focus on the fact that you have friends that cared enough about you to go out and celbrate your birthday!! I know that's hard to think about, when someone makes the day a nightmare, but such is this life while we learn to cope with it and/or end it... good luck sweetie!
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
First of all happy birthday 
I will be paraphrasing the SR sages. Please do not take this as an attack or judgment, just my outside view from what you have mentioned...
Hope is not a plan.
What if he never sees the light? there are many around here that have seen their close ones die denying any problem. It is sad, but it is reality.
I know it is not my concern, but if you are pregnant wouldn't it be better not to drink at all?
I fail to see why this "man" is more important than you and your baby? Why are his needs (more like, his addictions) first? What about yours.
You are his partner and he has no respect for you.
You are pregnant and he has no respect for his child.
It was your birthday and he did not consider it was a special day for you.
Your friends were there and he did not care and threw a tantrum.
I am sorry if this sounds blunt, it is not meant as an attack ... but this is who he is now, why do you expect him to magically be a different person..?
Where are the boundaries... what are your deal breakers?
I will be paraphrasing the SR sages. Please do not take this as an attack or judgment, just my outside view from what you have mentioned...
Hope is not a plan.
What if he never sees the light? there are many around here that have seen their close ones die denying any problem. It is sad, but it is reality.
I know it is not my concern, but if you are pregnant wouldn't it be better not to drink at all?
I fail to see why this "man" is more important than you and your baby? Why are his needs (more like, his addictions) first? What about yours.
You are his partner and he has no respect for you.
You are pregnant and he has no respect for his child.
It was your birthday and he did not consider it was a special day for you.
Your friends were there and he did not care and threw a tantrum.
I am sorry if this sounds blunt, it is not meant as an attack ... but this is who he is now, why do you expect him to magically be a different person..?
Where are the boundaries... what are your deal breakers?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Hong Kong
Posts: 55
Taking charge, thanks for your advise.
But I wasn't drinking and I don't drink since I know that I am pregnant. And my babies are more important than him. But he is my husband and I love him and I don't believe that at the bottom you don't wish that the other person can change and be better.
Maybe I am still having a little of hope because there's still people who stopped drinking and maybe my husband will turn one of them. That's all.
But I wasn't drinking and I don't drink since I know that I am pregnant. And my babies are more important than him. But he is my husband and I love him and I don't believe that at the bottom you don't wish that the other person can change and be better.
Maybe I am still having a little of hope because there's still people who stopped drinking and maybe my husband will turn one of them. That's all.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Hong Kong
Posts: 55
Hi Anvilhead!
I am sure that a bar is not a good place to him, was just my Bday and I wanted to have a good time with my friends.
I know he won't stop because of me, what I said before was a wish and that's it.
And it's easy to say what to do but difficult to do it.
I am sure that a bar is not a good place to him, was just my Bday and I wanted to have a good time with my friends.
I know he won't stop because of me, what I said before was a wish and that's it.
And it's easy to say what to do but difficult to do it.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Hi luli!! Oops!! Sorry for the confusion... glad you are not drinking.
Is this good enough for you then? Have you read the Stickies on top of the SR page?
Lots of useful information there about alcoholism....
Is this good enough for you then? Have you read the Stickies on top of the SR page?
Lots of useful information there about alcoholism....
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