What are you grateful for?
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
What are you grateful for?
GOOD MORNING BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE
I woke up this morning, stumbled to the kitchen and got some coffee. My alarm is in there because by the time I get all the way to the kitchen and turn it off I remember I can't go back to bed. Got lots to do. Kids to wake, feed and get to school.
So, I get my coffee and see my AH cell phone on the microwave and think, "I should go through it and see if he's been talking to his affair partner." My heart starts racing.
But in about 3 seconds I remember. That isn't my AH cell phone. It's my sons and they are the same kind. My AH doesn't live here with us.
I am in my own house, alone, with the kids. I left him. How did that happen?
I don't snoop through his phone anymore. I haven't even thought about it in weeks. It's none of my business. What he does, who he does it with? I don't have to worry about that anymore!!!!
I am free. I am free of snooping, free of trying to control him. Even though I got pulled into a text fight with him last weekend, even though at times I do struggle with understanding WTF happenned, even though I sometimes do "pick up that drink" and engage with him-- we do not live together.
It's made me think of what I am grateful for-by reasons of absence. The things that are out of my life. If I lived with him, I would still be in a daily hell. I see it here every day, folks crying out for help. You can get here too!!! Just leave.
I am working on controlling ME. I actually don't live with him anymore! It's a gift I tell ya, one I refused for years. A miracle has happenned!!! I am free!!
Gratitude List September 28, 2009
I spent the evening last night alone with my kids, laughing and hanging out.
Going to bed early, woke up rested. I wasn't up all night, watching him get progressively drunker (after telling me it would be the last time), fighting, crying and wishing things were different. Wishing HE were different. Feeling desperate and hopeless.
No more beer bottles everywhere.
My kids don't have to see him getting wasted and witness their mother stressed out and desperate and hopeless.
Being able to see where I need to change and having the faith, strength, grace, wisdom and power to do so.
So. What are you grateful for today? Be specific.
Love, TFMS
I woke up this morning, stumbled to the kitchen and got some coffee. My alarm is in there because by the time I get all the way to the kitchen and turn it off I remember I can't go back to bed. Got lots to do. Kids to wake, feed and get to school.
So, I get my coffee and see my AH cell phone on the microwave and think, "I should go through it and see if he's been talking to his affair partner." My heart starts racing.
But in about 3 seconds I remember. That isn't my AH cell phone. It's my sons and they are the same kind. My AH doesn't live here with us.
I am in my own house, alone, with the kids. I left him. How did that happen?
I don't snoop through his phone anymore. I haven't even thought about it in weeks. It's none of my business. What he does, who he does it with? I don't have to worry about that anymore!!!!
I am free. I am free of snooping, free of trying to control him. Even though I got pulled into a text fight with him last weekend, even though at times I do struggle with understanding WTF happenned, even though I sometimes do "pick up that drink" and engage with him-- we do not live together.
It's made me think of what I am grateful for-by reasons of absence. The things that are out of my life. If I lived with him, I would still be in a daily hell. I see it here every day, folks crying out for help. You can get here too!!! Just leave.
I am working on controlling ME. I actually don't live with him anymore! It's a gift I tell ya, one I refused for years. A miracle has happenned!!! I am free!!
Gratitude List September 28, 2009
I spent the evening last night alone with my kids, laughing and hanging out.
Going to bed early, woke up rested. I wasn't up all night, watching him get progressively drunker (after telling me it would be the last time), fighting, crying and wishing things were different. Wishing HE were different. Feeling desperate and hopeless.
No more beer bottles everywhere.
My kids don't have to see him getting wasted and witness their mother stressed out and desperate and hopeless.
Being able to see where I need to change and having the faith, strength, grace, wisdom and power to do so.
So. What are you grateful for today? Be specific.
Love, TFMS
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 247
Thank you for posting this...what a great way to start the day. I went to a speaker long ago who talked about gratitudes, and finding three things each day to be grateful for. At the time I was struggling with my AH's addiction and what a mess he had created for our family (hmm...shocking I know) and needed to hear what she said. During the session she had participants write a love letter to themselves - and I could not do it. I wonder if I could do it today.
For a long time, my friend was my gratitude partner each day. She was the one person who knew my struggles and my pain at the time, and I am so thankful for her time in my life. Then things got better, and I lost sight of what got me to that point.
So today, I start anew with your help. I am grateful for...
Sleeping well each night, not waiting for the phone to ring, the door to open, the other shoe to fall. Waking up rested and feeling ready to begin the day.
A peaceful home, free from the tension of everything that is unsaid, the tension of what was said, and the ever present fear of the unknown.
Finding a place - this wonderful place - filled with compassion, hope, understanding and love. Not the blame, guilt, denial and accusations that have filled my life and my mind for so many years. I am so thankful I found you all here.
For a long time, my friend was my gratitude partner each day. She was the one person who knew my struggles and my pain at the time, and I am so thankful for her time in my life. Then things got better, and I lost sight of what got me to that point.
So today, I start anew with your help. I am grateful for...
Sleeping well each night, not waiting for the phone to ring, the door to open, the other shoe to fall. Waking up rested and feeling ready to begin the day.
A peaceful home, free from the tension of everything that is unsaid, the tension of what was said, and the ever present fear of the unknown.
Finding a place - this wonderful place - filled with compassion, hope, understanding and love. Not the blame, guilt, denial and accusations that have filled my life and my mind for so many years. I am so thankful I found you all here.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
My gratitude list is so long I'll have to give you the reader's digest condensed version.
I'm grateful for:
Not having to walk in a room and see my AX quickly hang up the phone, close his internet window, or click a chat window closed.
Not having the slightest desire to snoop on anyone, anywhere, and all the shame that comes with that.
Not having the sickening smell of semi-metabolized vodka anywhere near me any more
Being able to sleep in a bed that doesn't smell like an alcoholic
No more worries about where he is when he claims to be working late.
No more phone numbers on scraps of paper turning up in the bottom of the washing machine.
Not having to build my day around whether someone is or isn't going to need access to alcohol
Never worrying about my bank accounts any more - ever - and always always always having more than enough money to pay the bills, as the money's not going down someone's gullet
No hang-up calls in the middle of the night
Finally knowing the difference between love and fear
Finally knowing I'm strong enough to walk away
Finally having a clear vision of what I want my life to be like, knowing that addiction can't play any part in it, and knowing I'm not willing to compromise on that point any more
The freedom to choose whether I want to be in a relationship or not, and the knowledge that I no longer have to cling to being with a drunk just because I'm terrified of living alone
Living in a house filled with love and trust, and knowing that this is the only thing I will ever settle for again - ever.
I'm grateful for:
Not having to walk in a room and see my AX quickly hang up the phone, close his internet window, or click a chat window closed.
Not having the slightest desire to snoop on anyone, anywhere, and all the shame that comes with that.
Not having the sickening smell of semi-metabolized vodka anywhere near me any more
Being able to sleep in a bed that doesn't smell like an alcoholic
No more worries about where he is when he claims to be working late.
No more phone numbers on scraps of paper turning up in the bottom of the washing machine.
Not having to build my day around whether someone is or isn't going to need access to alcohol
Never worrying about my bank accounts any more - ever - and always always always having more than enough money to pay the bills, as the money's not going down someone's gullet
No hang-up calls in the middle of the night
Finally knowing the difference between love and fear
Finally knowing I'm strong enough to walk away
Finally having a clear vision of what I want my life to be like, knowing that addiction can't play any part in it, and knowing I'm not willing to compromise on that point any more
The freedom to choose whether I want to be in a relationship or not, and the knowledge that I no longer have to cling to being with a drunk just because I'm terrified of living alone
Living in a house filled with love and trust, and knowing that this is the only thing I will ever settle for again - ever.
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
The freedom to choose whether I want to be in a relationship or not, and the knowledge that I no longer have to cling to being with a drunk just because I'm terrified of living alone
Living in a house filled with love and trust, and knowing that this is the only thing I will ever settle for again - ever.
Finally knowing the difference between love and fear
Finally knowing I'm strong enough to walk away
Living in a house filled with love and trust, and knowing that this is the only thing I will ever settle for again - ever.
Finally knowing the difference between love and fear
Finally knowing I'm strong enough to walk away
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Illinois
Posts: 147
Givelove you hit many things I am grateful for.
I too was afraid of being alone and that fear lead me to being an enabler. I am grateful for being able to love my children and myself for who we are and not who I need/want them to be.
I am grateful for the weekends. I look forward to them as a time to have fun and get things done, not wonder if someone is going to get plowed, how early in the day she will get plowed, what will happen when she gets plowed, how I will talk to her about it, again and again and again...
I am grateful to have me back in my life. I don't know where I went the last six years but this spineless man that was in my place is gone. I am back, stronger and more confident in who I am and what I want in life and that will never be taken away again.
I am grateful for Nacho Cheese Doritos. Without them life would be cruel.
I too was afraid of being alone and that fear lead me to being an enabler. I am grateful for being able to love my children and myself for who we are and not who I need/want them to be.
I am grateful for the weekends. I look forward to them as a time to have fun and get things done, not wonder if someone is going to get plowed, how early in the day she will get plowed, what will happen when she gets plowed, how I will talk to her about it, again and again and again...
I am grateful to have me back in my life. I don't know where I went the last six years but this spineless man that was in my place is gone. I am back, stronger and more confident in who I am and what I want in life and that will never be taken away again.
I am grateful for Nacho Cheese Doritos. Without them life would be cruel.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
I am very grateful for the warmth in my heart that I feel when I read posts from women who are escaping hell-on-earth, finding peace and living for themselves and their children.
I am very grateful for all that I have learned since I found Al-anon and SR, but mostly for learning how to detach with love and finding the peace of mind that comes with that.
I am very grateful that my daughter is strong and brave and talented.
I am very grateful for all that I have learned since I found Al-anon and SR, but mostly for learning how to detach with love and finding the peace of mind that comes with that.
I am very grateful that my daughter is strong and brave and talented.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 80
I am grateful for this forum and for reading the stories of others who have been where I am right now.
I am SO grateful that two of my friends have offered up their spare rooms for me and my son over the next 2 weeks until I can move into a permanent place.
I'm grateful to finally be moving out of the alcoholic household tomorrow! (speaking of which, I need to pack some more...)
I'm grateful for my parents' support.
I'm grateful for Al-Anon.
I'm grateful for my beautiful son.
I'm grateful for the support of my friends and my sponsor.
I'm grateful to have a nice peaceful quiet house tonight...
and for this thread!
I am SO grateful that two of my friends have offered up their spare rooms for me and my son over the next 2 weeks until I can move into a permanent place.
I'm grateful to finally be moving out of the alcoholic household tomorrow! (speaking of which, I need to pack some more...)
I'm grateful for my parents' support.
I'm grateful for Al-Anon.
I'm grateful for my beautiful son.
I'm grateful for the support of my friends and my sponsor.
I'm grateful to have a nice peaceful quiet house tonight...
and for this thread!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: around the riverbend in the boonedocks, USA
Posts: 56
Just for today:
I'm grateful for my X-A Spouse, recovery buddies that keep up on calling him, after 2 weeks out of the recovery center, so far so good!!! This Saturday will be 7 months sober. But also Grateful for the knowledge if he does fall off the wagon, that I WILL BE OK, that I can move on and live life my way, healthy!
Grateful, for healthy, beauitful, wonderful, actively, loving young daughters God gave to me.
Grateful I have a job, and like going to it!!!!
Grateful, that I am getting involved in the community, with being a girl scout troop leader.
Grateful for a beauitful fall day and mowing my yard, with a sweater on!!! And not smoking while I do it, Haven't smoked a cig. in 4 days, having a head cold sure helps get over the first week shakes of wanting to quit! :-) so far so good!!!
Grateful for this forum
I'm grateful for my X-A Spouse, recovery buddies that keep up on calling him, after 2 weeks out of the recovery center, so far so good!!! This Saturday will be 7 months sober. But also Grateful for the knowledge if he does fall off the wagon, that I WILL BE OK, that I can move on and live life my way, healthy!
Grateful, for healthy, beauitful, wonderful, actively, loving young daughters God gave to me.
Grateful I have a job, and like going to it!!!!
Grateful, that I am getting involved in the community, with being a girl scout troop leader.
Grateful for a beauitful fall day and mowing my yard, with a sweater on!!! And not smoking while I do it, Haven't smoked a cig. in 4 days, having a head cold sure helps get over the first week shakes of wanting to quit! :-) so far so good!!!
Grateful for this forum
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
I had a heart attack in March and Cardiac surgery in August.
I am SO grateful:
That I AM ALIVE and WELL.
For ABF who is sober and has been so supportive of me.
For my wonderful, loving and wise 98 year old mother.
For a happy, healthy and loving family.
That my XAH is no longer in pain and misery, having died a month ago.
For my secure and lovely pensioner unit, and no more worry over affording the rent.
For living in God's Country Australia, with peace and stability and freedom.
For being so miserable last year that I found SR and the help I needed.
For every one of the blessings I get each day.
I just planted a variety of lettuce, some silverbeet, leeks, radish seedlings and 2 tomato plants in my small back garden. I planted a runty, sickly tomato bush a while back and it grew like Jack's beanstalk, giving me 68 huge tomatos these past weeks.
While I was out there, a couple of kookaburras serenaded me, what a beautiful start to a glorious sunny and warm day.
God bless
I am SO grateful:
That I AM ALIVE and WELL.
For ABF who is sober and has been so supportive of me.
For my wonderful, loving and wise 98 year old mother.
For a happy, healthy and loving family.
That my XAH is no longer in pain and misery, having died a month ago.
For my secure and lovely pensioner unit, and no more worry over affording the rent.
For living in God's Country Australia, with peace and stability and freedom.
For being so miserable last year that I found SR and the help I needed.
For every one of the blessings I get each day.
I just planted a variety of lettuce, some silverbeet, leeks, radish seedlings and 2 tomato plants in my small back garden. I planted a runty, sickly tomato bush a while back and it grew like Jack's beanstalk, giving me 68 huge tomatos these past weeks.
While I was out there, a couple of kookaburras serenaded me, what a beautiful start to a glorious sunny and warm day.
God bless
Awakening
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Beautiful Texas hillcountry
Posts: 1,272
I have many, many blessings. But two biggies that come to mind:
I am grateful for being out of a nightmare of a marriage and for being blessed to wake up under the same roof as my little girl. Thank you HP. Really, thank you.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
I'm also grateful for the "cruiser", I love that car!
I am grateful for being out of a nightmare of a marriage and for being blessed to wake up under the same roof as my little girl. Thank you HP. Really, thank you.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
I'm also grateful for the "cruiser", I love that car!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Someplace USA
Posts: 415
This is a great post!!!
I am grateful for:
My 18 yr. old son who still hugs his mom and talks to me about cars.
For my 22 yr. old daughter who thinks of me as her best friend.
For having the inner backbone to keep pressing forward to get away; I know my day of escape is coming soon and I'm so excited!
For my little black cat who cuddles every night; without her even married my bed would have been so lonely all these years.
For my church who lets me work with teens who have anger management issues. I really love those girls. Each one is awesome in her own way.
For each one of you here on this board with your wit and wisdom.
For my HP that I can depend on and hope in.
Well I could go on... but that's a few....!!!
I am grateful for:
My 18 yr. old son who still hugs his mom and talks to me about cars.
For my 22 yr. old daughter who thinks of me as her best friend.
For having the inner backbone to keep pressing forward to get away; I know my day of escape is coming soon and I'm so excited!
For my little black cat who cuddles every night; without her even married my bed would have been so lonely all these years.
For my church who lets me work with teens who have anger management issues. I really love those girls. Each one is awesome in her own way.
For each one of you here on this board with your wit and wisdom.
For my HP that I can depend on and hope in.
Well I could go on... but that's a few....!!!
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
For my kitty a god send, the best company at 4 am when they wake me up to work and she is happy to play at night... Yesterday I slept hugging her, I love it when I wake up and she is sleeping next to me! she always makes me laugh!!
For feeling excited about LIVING MY OWN LIFE again.. for knowing no one defines me.. for knowing who I am and starting to make this city my own, not my ex's version of it..
For knowing no one does what I do and knows what I know, and I earned my place in a great company. 15% are women and 5% are in Operations, like me! For ignoring the non-believers out there...
For having my family alive and well
For my dad because he earned a rare Aviation School medal for 27 000 years of flight in commercial airlines... I'm excited hoping I can go to the ceremony!!
For being independent and not needing any money from anyone to be OK
For feeling stronger and having clarity about the past. For knowing I did nothing wrong but believe in someone who was not worth believing in.
For knowing this person before he lost himself and having the memory of us smiling at each other, that is the memory I will keep.
For the SR community
For the embrace of a great man I would not have found if I was my old fearful diminished self... for our plans together that involve buying stuff for our home (got the keys today!!! so excited but too tired to start carrying stuff) and going places and hugging a lot and being at peace.... for our plan for me to play the piano while he sings LOL.
For feeling excited about LIVING MY OWN LIFE again.. for knowing no one defines me.. for knowing who I am and starting to make this city my own, not my ex's version of it..
For knowing no one does what I do and knows what I know, and I earned my place in a great company. 15% are women and 5% are in Operations, like me! For ignoring the non-believers out there...
For having my family alive and well
For my dad because he earned a rare Aviation School medal for 27 000 years of flight in commercial airlines... I'm excited hoping I can go to the ceremony!!
For being independent and not needing any money from anyone to be OK
For feeling stronger and having clarity about the past. For knowing I did nothing wrong but believe in someone who was not worth believing in.
For knowing this person before he lost himself and having the memory of us smiling at each other, that is the memory I will keep.
For the SR community
For the embrace of a great man I would not have found if I was my old fearful diminished self... for our plans together that involve buying stuff for our home (got the keys today!!! so excited but too tired to start carrying stuff) and going places and hugging a lot and being at peace.... for our plan for me to play the piano while he sings LOL.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
I am grateful for SR, for showing me it was time to let my loved ones free upon their paths, so that I might fully appreciate living along my own.
I am grateful for the people who come into my life, with love and/or lessons to share.
I am grateful for the pain that accentuates the joy, the knowledge that dispels the fear, and the strength that carries me forward, even when I am on my knees crawling.
I am grateful to be alive, and rather than just surviving, to be living a blessed and wondrous life.
I am grateful for the people who come into my life, with love and/or lessons to share.
I am grateful for the pain that accentuates the joy, the knowledge that dispels the fear, and the strength that carries me forward, even when I am on my knees crawling.
I am grateful to be alive, and rather than just surviving, to be living a blessed and wondrous life.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 133
What a great post!!
I am grateful for:
God doing for me what I could not do for myself.
Amazing friends and support in AA and Al-anon
I am grateful I didn't relapse while with him.
I am grateful for my children and my parents.
I am grateful I am back in school and not distracted by him.
I am grateful for the home I have, filled with peace.
I am grateful for the beautiful fall colors (they have NEVER looked so bright!)
I am grateful for uninterupted nights of sleep
I am grateful the nightmares are gone.
I am grateful I can eat again.
I am grateful for the peace I feel in my heart.
I am grateful for getting to know me.
I am grateful that God gave me the strength to let go.
I am grateful for SR.
I am grateful that I can feel again today.
I am grateful I am honest today.
I am grateful I am trustworthy.
I am grateful that I am beginning to realize my self-worth.
I am grateful that I never want to be in that hell again.
I love all my friends here, thank you for being the shoulder I can cry on, the imagined face I can laugh with, and the hearts that understand all that I feel. XOXOXOX!!!
I am grateful for:
God doing for me what I could not do for myself.
Amazing friends and support in AA and Al-anon
I am grateful I didn't relapse while with him.
I am grateful for my children and my parents.
I am grateful I am back in school and not distracted by him.
I am grateful for the home I have, filled with peace.
I am grateful for the beautiful fall colors (they have NEVER looked so bright!)
I am grateful for uninterupted nights of sleep
I am grateful the nightmares are gone.
I am grateful I can eat again.
I am grateful for the peace I feel in my heart.
I am grateful for getting to know me.
I am grateful that God gave me the strength to let go.
I am grateful for SR.
I am grateful that I can feel again today.
I am grateful I am honest today.
I am grateful I am trustworthy.
I am grateful that I am beginning to realize my self-worth.
I am grateful that I never want to be in that hell again.
I love all my friends here, thank you for being the shoulder I can cry on, the imagined face I can laugh with, and the hearts that understand all that I feel. XOXOXOX!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Somewhere, our planet
Posts: 174
I am grateful for my health, for a job that I love, for a wonderful husband (who is my rock), and for running in to an old friend today (who made me smile). I am grateful for the good music that I played on my iPod on the drive to work, and the gorgeous fall weather that is sending the leaves tumbling all over campus (I am a college teacher); I am grateful for kicking through the leaves on the way home and for being able to wear socks because the weather is turning cooler; I'm grateful for laughter from my coworkers who are more like my good friends than people I work with, and for my brother who called me today; I'm grateful for the dark chocolate that I bought JUST for MYSELF today to enjoy along with Seinfeld re-runs on TV. I am grateful for my kitty cat who smells and feels so comforting and who is ALWAYS happy to see me when I arrive home. And I'm grateful for my bathtub, which I will fill and soak in soon after I sign off of here.
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Well, I just came from my sisters new place. She is also getting divorced and we christened her teensy little rental wiht a bottle of white wine. I can walk there.
When I started this thread this morning I was filled to the brim with joy and gratitude.
You folks have given me even more to be grateful for, like Taking Time
who is experiencing the graciousness of friends willing to help her escape.
We're all survivors.
I too am grateful for my HP whose hand moves mountains once I"m ready for the help.
Tunkasila, unshi maki la peya
Mitakuya op'wani, watchiyay
Grandfather, have mercy on me and my people, so we may live our lives to the fullest.
When I started this thread this morning I was filled to the brim with joy and gratitude.
You folks have given me even more to be grateful for, like Taking Time
two of my friends have offered up their spare rooms for me and my son over the next 2 weeks until I can move into a permanent place.
We're all survivors.
I too am grateful for my HP whose hand moves mountains once I"m ready for the help.
Tunkasila, unshi maki la peya
Mitakuya op'wani, watchiyay
Grandfather, have mercy on me and my people, so we may live our lives to the fullest.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wild West, USA
Posts: 407
I am grateful for the people that care about me
I am grateful for the knowledge that my boyfriend will tell me the truth, even if he knows it will hurt me
I am grateful for my beloved daughter
and for the opportunity to go back to school, which I am enjoying, and which will lead me to a better and more secure job.
I'm grateful that I'm alive. It's been an interesting ride.
--BG
I am grateful for the knowledge that my boyfriend will tell me the truth, even if he knows it will hurt me
I am grateful for my beloved daughter
and for the opportunity to go back to school, which I am enjoying, and which will lead me to a better and more secure job.
I'm grateful that I'm alive. It's been an interesting ride.
--BG
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