mxchaos

learned is that sober what easy thought and feeling are destroying me. and I need to learn how to deal with them like normal people. Although most normal people don't hear voices or have visions. fro that fact they don't try to destroy themselves/ so what am I doing wrong? I take my meds I work out every day and I'm working on beating ANA into the ground bite by bite.
I thought my 1st year was pretty good till this last month or so.

Any thoughts on how to make it a full year and a mostly happy one??????????

mxchaos

I feel like I've been sending messages in bottles with they ever come back with an answer?

Dee74

I think one of the hardest parts about being sober is that sometimes it doesn't make everything easier, Mx....but thats where a site like this comes in handy - reaching out here is a good thing.

I don't think you've done anything wrong at all - sometimes life is tough. But you're not alone

I think self destruction is a pretty common thing for all of us here too, mx...
Have you talked to your doctor or therapist about this?

Sorry I didn't quite get if you meant you're hearing visions or hearing voices now, but that would be another reason to check in with your doctor.

keep posting and telling us whats going on, mx
D

Anna

Hi Mx,

It might be a good idea to talk to your dr about hearing voices and having visions.

Congratulations on a year sober. It IS hard and it takes time to learn how to navigate through life without numbing ourselves, but it will get easier.

tommyk

One thing is probably apparent... adding alcohol to the mix wouldn't improve anything, right?

SO CONGRATS ON ONE YEAR!!!

Keep coming back MX.

mxchaos

the doc's know about the voices and visions we thought the meds had them under control but I guess not. I have any urges to drink just to be destructible and we are work on that.

thanks for the support I can always use the voice of reason instead of the demons in my my mind

Dee74

I would go back and explain that things aren't right mx...it's annoying I know but sometimes these things take a few tweaks

D

Squish

Being a newcomer here I do feel bad for offering advice right off the bat. But I did complete two years of mental health nursing.

I don't know what meds you are taking or if you have discussed depression with your doctor but I would say if you're not already getting help with depression go back and talk to a GOOD doctor and ask for an assessment.

It's hard to readjust, and a year, although utterly fabulous and so much kudos to you for doing it (!), is a short amount of time to be hoping to return to "normal".

Cut yourself some slack and do the things you love. Indulge yourself for a while. Maybe even take some evening classes.

A million mess-ups later I can say for sure that life life never makes things easy for us. But it's so worth it when we do get conquer it *snugs*

Dee74

Hi
welcome to SR Squish

Good to have you aboard - you'll find a lot of support here.
Feel free to start your own thread introducing yourself if you like

Hope to see you around
D

mxchaos

My mental health nurse rocks she kicks my ass when I need it and gives huges too. she's been great support out of the hospital and tells me to cut my self some slck because the illness is not my fault. she wants me to go back to the mental health unit for a stay. but I have a full time job now and I love it don't want to lose it.

anyway thatnks for all the support guys

Dee74

Keep us updated mx - I don't want you to lose a job you love but I want you to take the very best care of yourself too...

cut yourself some slack and keep speaking to that nurse

D

mxchaos

I know I should talk to her and my doc more but I don't want to end up in the mhu for a month or more and that's how long it usually take for things to get better. I love my job and feel useful again. Damn disorder is making impossible to hang on to it.

Tazman53

So you are dealing with ANA as well as alcoholism, a double whammy, on one hand the best way to deal with it is total abstainance and with the other controled intake!

I was kind of surprised to learn how many alcoholics in AA were also dealing with ANA, I learned this when my daughter went to treatment to deal with ANA. The ladies and 1 guy I know in AA that are dealing with ANA shared that they found dealing with ANA to be far easier by applying the same steps for alcoholism they worked in AA to dealing with ANA with minor modifications they learned in OA.

As with thier alcoholism they said that knowing they were not alone dealing with ANA and alcoholism made a world of difference.

Please keep your doctor informed of it all, and also keep in mind that you are not alone in dealing with both ANA & alcoholism.

stone

Hey MX, you are doing great. Thoughts and feelings are what happens to me more when I am sober and that is why it is hard. It takes time to learn coping skills sober.

mariechi

I don't have a thing to add to the really good stuff already posted. Just another one out here pulling for you.

Aysha

Congrats on alost a year mx. I am sry your feeling like that.
But your making none the less.
So be proud of that.
I dont have much advice for you. I am just happy your coming up on a year and are obviously aware of certain issues and are trying to work on them.
Thats wonderful IMO.
So hang in there.