Had a terrible relapse....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Searching my way thru this journey called life..
Posts: 149
Had a terrible relapse....
Things were going so well, wonderful, great then bam it hit me, a weeklong bing relapse and I did some terrible things, cost my myself money I needed, may in up in jail and lost some respect from my wife. I feel so alone right now, she wont talk to me, my son is only 4 and still loves me no matter what. I know there will come a time when he wont anymore if this keeps up. I dont know if my wife and I can make thru this one, she hardly talks to me. I feel so alone in this big house. I dont think Ive been this depressed in a very long time. I just dont know, sometimes I think at least she would be better off without me, my son I would hate to leave and I dont mean across state. And things were gooing so well...
get back up my brutha. if they were going well they can again.
and after being married for 25 years women can have a very long memory but they do eventually forgive. at least mine has and i've done some really dumb things.
and after being married for 25 years women can have a very long memory but they do eventually forgive. at least mine has and i've done some really dumb things.
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 206
Recovery is a process. I've relapsed so many times. But I'm getting better at quitting you know? Rather than saying, "Its Tuesday and I drank, mine as well drink the rest of the week right through the weekend," it is now, "I messed up Tuesday night, got to get back to staying sober Wednesday, go to the gym, etc." It is different for everybody, but I think that it is like anything else in life, the better you get at it, the better the results.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 37
Things were going so well, wonderful, great then bam it hit me, a weeklong bing relapse and I did some terrible things, cost my myself money I needed, may in up in jail and lost some respect from my wife. I feel so alone right now, she wont talk to me, my son is only 4 and still loves me no matter what. I know there will come a time when he wont anymore if this keeps up. I dont know if my wife and I can make thru this one, she hardly talks to me. I feel so alone in this big house. I dont think Ive been this depressed in a very long time. I just dont know, sometimes I think at least she would be better off without me, my son I would hate to leave and I dont mean across state. And things were gooing so well...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Searching my way thru this journey called life..
Posts: 149
its not just I slipped, we had sold my prized jeep made a great profit on another vehicle was going to use the money to pay off my bankrupcty, instead I got drunk won more money but somewhere between the table and room at the hotel, it all disappeard. cops think is was someone that prays on people like that, all drunk with a wad of money in the pocket. now its all gone, have to start all over, I feel like such a dumb ass, Im so depressed....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 37
its not just I slipped, we had sold my prized jeep made a great profit on another vehicle was going to use the money to pay off my bankrupcty, instead I got drunk won more money but somewhere between the table and room at the hotel, it all disappeard. cops think is was someone that prays on people like that, all drunk with a wad of money in the pocket. now its all gone, have to start all over, I feel like such a dumb ass, Im so depressed....
That is horrible. But it is just another reprecussion of drinking.
I know how it is to get ahead and then mess it all up just to find yourself deeper than you were before.
But the great thing is that you can stop digging antime you want.
I know you cant get that time or money back. But you can learn from it and just pick yourself back up and know that drinking will most likely result in some sort of loss.
It is never hopeless.
I use to wish it would all just go away. That I could go back and not screw up. Back at square one for the millionth time.
But you can make it better by not drinking again and just start again.
Are you working any program or have any kind of support system in place?
You will feel better after a little while. Just dont keep yourself down by beating yourself up.
And find a network of recovering people to help you. Whatever way you can.
I know how it is to get ahead and then mess it all up just to find yourself deeper than you were before.
But the great thing is that you can stop digging antime you want.
I know you cant get that time or money back. But you can learn from it and just pick yourself back up and know that drinking will most likely result in some sort of loss.
It is never hopeless.
I use to wish it would all just go away. That I could go back and not screw up. Back at square one for the millionth time.
But you can make it better by not drinking again and just start again.
Are you working any program or have any kind of support system in place?
You will feel better after a little while. Just dont keep yourself down by beating yourself up.
And find a network of recovering people to help you. Whatever way you can.
Hi Searching,
I'm sorry - I've been there. The important thing to do is - stop digging.
Don't drink on this...reach out, and get some help - whatever help is close at hand.
Don't waste another minute. Start rebuilding.
I found once I stopped drinking, eventually everything else fell into place.
and lean on us
D
I'm sorry - I've been there. The important thing to do is - stop digging.
Don't drink on this...reach out, and get some help - whatever help is close at hand.
Don't waste another minute. Start rebuilding.
I found once I stopped drinking, eventually everything else fell into place.
and lean on us
D
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
OK, so you screwed up, the wife knows about it and there's ice in the air at home. OK, now what do you do? Maybe it's time to really get serious about tossing in the towel and asking for help in turning things around, and establish a network to help you stay on track once you are. Doing something about your problem will prove more to your wife than a thousand I Love Yous ever could. Hey, but the I Love Yous help too, so spend a few of those, you only have so many till they're all gone, unless you replenish the supply with action.
Not being mean here, better you than me discovering that we're still alcoholics.
What's your recovery plan?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Searching my way thru this journey called life..
Posts: 149
recovery plan so far, gone to a few aa meetings, have a therapist Im seeing, membership at the Y so I can get back to working out and lots of praying... thats the plan so far anyway...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 37
Great call, take care of your physical and spiritual well being. It takes a commitment that basically doesn't allow partying.
searching what happened happened, move forward.
I have found that for me recovery means ACTION, not inaction.
For many years my method of not drinking involved no action on my part at all, it was all inaction, I simply did not take the action of buying or drinking booze, that was it, I took no ACTION, I changed nothing and nothing changed about me! I remained the exact same person that drank, as a result not having my booze and being the exact same person I was when I was drinking, I got really bored, I became discontent, irratable, anxious, and depressed.
What actions were you taking before your relapse?
Did you stop doing those actions?
Do you feel you need to take more action?
Going to a therapist, praying, & going to AA meetings is a good start, at least it was for me.
The Program of AA is an ACTION program, going to meeting are a very small part of that action.
I know I was going to at least one meeting a day for about 2 months, I had a temporary sponsor, and a good network of folks I called daily and I came VERY close to relapsing, the only thing that saved my butt that day was prayer and speaking to another AA member.
I did not get it, I was going to tons of meetings, I was talking to people in AA every day, yet I was mentally right back where I had been!
Well in talking with my sponsor and other old timers in AA I found out what was missing!!
I needed to take MORE ACTION!!!! I needed to take the steps with my sponsor!
Well I took the steps with my sponsor and I apply them daily to all areas of my life, the obsession to drink was lifted and I have found a new freedom, a new life, I have changed into a man that I actually like.
I still take ACTIONS on a daily basis and there is not a single thing in the world that could happen to me today that I do not have a solution for. That solution I have today does not even faintly involve the idea of a drink amking a single thing better.
I have found that for me recovery means ACTION, not inaction.
For many years my method of not drinking involved no action on my part at all, it was all inaction, I simply did not take the action of buying or drinking booze, that was it, I took no ACTION, I changed nothing and nothing changed about me! I remained the exact same person that drank, as a result not having my booze and being the exact same person I was when I was drinking, I got really bored, I became discontent, irratable, anxious, and depressed.
What actions were you taking before your relapse?
Did you stop doing those actions?
Do you feel you need to take more action?
Going to a therapist, praying, & going to AA meetings is a good start, at least it was for me.
The Program of AA is an ACTION program, going to meeting are a very small part of that action.
I know I was going to at least one meeting a day for about 2 months, I had a temporary sponsor, and a good network of folks I called daily and I came VERY close to relapsing, the only thing that saved my butt that day was prayer and speaking to another AA member.
I did not get it, I was going to tons of meetings, I was talking to people in AA every day, yet I was mentally right back where I had been!
Well in talking with my sponsor and other old timers in AA I found out what was missing!!
I needed to take MORE ACTION!!!! I needed to take the steps with my sponsor!
Well I took the steps with my sponsor and I apply them daily to all areas of my life, the obsession to drink was lifted and I have found a new freedom, a new life, I have changed into a man that I actually like.
I still take ACTIONS on a daily basis and there is not a single thing in the world that could happen to me today that I do not have a solution for. That solution I have today does not even faintly involve the idea of a drink amking a single thing better.
Others have posted some great advice, so i'll just bump up the support and say you CAN pull yourself out of this. You don't have to go running into walls. Sure its tough but it CAN be done and IS done. Look at the guys n gals on here
Hi Searching,
I`m really sorry for what happened. I think it`s a sign to you, that things get worse as our addiction continues. It sure was the case for me.
I hope that you can get past this and focus on your recovery.
I`m really sorry for what happened. I think it`s a sign to you, that things get worse as our addiction continues. It sure was the case for me.
I hope that you can get past this and focus on your recovery.
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