progress while continues relapsing...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,361
progress while continues relapsing...
I'm a serial relapser 
Luckely my smoking weed habit has been decreased structurely. Last week i said no to myself to smoke a few times, since i had important stuff to do. Same as today..I simply can't afford it anymore..mentally, physically, study-wise, relationship-wise (altough my girl doesn't really mind if I would get high all the time)...I'm sober for at least two days a week now, and those include sig smoking as well..
Very positive developments..
Still it has to get out of my system all the way...it just makes me lazy and uninterested. It makes tasks such as homework a lot harder and more difficult then it often in a sober state of mind is...I think it kills my sex-drive too...looked it up and it has something to do with my testosterone levels in combinatie with THC...
Learning that I have to be a bit more kind for myself. Sobriety does not mean I have to work everyday the whole day at a 100%. That is a major relapse factor for me. Detoxing is heavy enough, i just can't work my ass of at the same time (yet). So now instead i do powernaps, take studybrakes of about 15 min a time. I sometimes go meditating in some special place here at the university...
I don't need to compensate my loss of time being addicted all in one day! I can take all my life to fix all the bad karma I created...
Luckely my smoking weed habit has been decreased structurely. Last week i said no to myself to smoke a few times, since i had important stuff to do. Same as today..I simply can't afford it anymore..mentally, physically, study-wise, relationship-wise (altough my girl doesn't really mind if I would get high all the time)...I'm sober for at least two days a week now, and those include sig smoking as well..
Very positive developments..
Still it has to get out of my system all the way...it just makes me lazy and uninterested. It makes tasks such as homework a lot harder and more difficult then it often in a sober state of mind is...I think it kills my sex-drive too...looked it up and it has something to do with my testosterone levels in combinatie with THC...
Learning that I have to be a bit more kind for myself. Sobriety does not mean I have to work everyday the whole day at a 100%. That is a major relapse factor for me. Detoxing is heavy enough, i just can't work my ass of at the same time (yet). So now instead i do powernaps, take studybrakes of about 15 min a time. I sometimes go meditating in some special place here at the university...
I don't need to compensate my loss of time being addicted all in one day! I can take all my life to fix all the bad karma I created...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: WA Perth
Posts: 168
this must be so frustrating for you... but i know what you mean but maybe on alesser degree, you just keep striving along and dealing with the pain and frustration... I just coudlnt handle the constant oh here we go again,, i want the pain and frustration gone, gone, gone, so for me I have to stop, I have to stop everything..........
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 37
Originally Posted by coming_clean 
I'm a serial relapser
Luckely my smoking weed habit has been decreased structurely. Last week i said no to myself to smoke a few times, since i had important stuff to do. Same as today..I simply can't afford it anymore..mentally, physically, study-wise, relationship-wise (altough my girl doesn't really mind if I would get high all the time)...I'm sober for at least two days a week now, and those include sig smoking as well..
Very positive developments..
Still it has to get out of my system all the way...it just makes me lazy and uninterested. It makes tasks such as homework a lot harder and more difficult then it often in a sober state of mind is...I think it kills my sex-drive too...looked it up and it has something to do with my testosterone levels in combinatie with THC...
Learning that I have to be a bit more kind for myself. Sobriety does not mean I have to work everyday the whole day at a 100%. That is a major relapse factor for me. Detoxing is heavy enough, i just can't work my ass of at the same time (yet). So now instead i do powernaps, take studybrakes of about 15 min a time. I sometimes go meditating in some special place here at the university...
I don't need to compensate my loss of time being addicted all in one day! I can take all my life to fix all the bad karma I created...
Luckely my smoking weed habit has been decreased structurely. Last week i said no to myself to smoke a few times, since i had important stuff to do. Same as today..I simply can't afford it anymore..mentally, physically, study-wise, relationship-wise (altough my girl doesn't really mind if I would get high all the time)...I'm sober for at least two days a week now, and those include sig smoking as well..
Very positive developments..
Still it has to get out of my system all the way...it just makes me lazy and uninterested. It makes tasks such as homework a lot harder and more difficult then it often in a sober state of mind is...I think it kills my sex-drive too...looked it up and it has something to do with my testosterone levels in combinatie with THC...
Learning that I have to be a bit more kind for myself. Sobriety does not mean I have to work everyday the whole day at a 100%. That is a major relapse factor for me. Detoxing is heavy enough, i just can't work my ass of at the same time (yet). So now instead i do powernaps, take studybrakes of about 15 min a time. I sometimes go meditating in some special place here at the university...
I don't need to compensate my loss of time being addicted all in one day! I can take all my life to fix all the bad karma I created...
Last edited by Wolf00; 09-23-2009 at 08:24 PM.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I have done that alot too. Wanting to fix everything now at once.
But it is a good idea to not use anything at all eventually.
It took me a long time to be ok with the fact that I cant do everything.
I learned to take things as they came and just do my best at whatever I could deal with at the time.
Its really hard especially if you have deadlines.
But you can only do what you can do.
No amount of worrying or hurrying can change that.
So take it easy on yourself. And I think what your doing as far as breaking it up and stuff is great idea.
But it is a good idea to not use anything at all eventually.
It took me a long time to be ok with the fact that I cant do everything.
I learned to take things as they came and just do my best at whatever I could deal with at the time.
Its really hard especially if you have deadlines.
But you can only do what you can do.
No amount of worrying or hurrying can change that.
So take it easy on yourself. And I think what your doing as far as breaking it up and stuff is great idea.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: iowa cornfields
Posts: 126
Wolf I disagree. Mary jane isn't as hard as smack. Benzodiazapines aren't a heavily controlled substance according to the DEA as Schedule 4- but that's not the point. They can be just as devastating as say alcohol or some painkillers. By saying marijuana isn't evil, you're kind of sending a mixed message. I think you might be into a little denial about this. Us addicts know that we eventually will abuse a drug. Marijuana included. I'm not trying to pick a fight here but it seems like you're saying ol' ganja is okay and way better than H or crank or crack. Like it's a fallback substance you know?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 37
Originally Posted by pinpoint
Wolf I disagree. Mary jane isn't as hard as smack. Benzodiazapines aren't a heavily controlled substance according to the DEA as Schedule 4- but that's not the point. They can be just as devastating as say alcohol or some painkillers. By saying marijuana isn't evil, you're kind of sending a mixed message. I think you might be into a little denial about this. Us addicts know that we eventually will abuse a drug. Marijuana included. I'm not trying to pick a fight here but it seems like you're saying ol' ganja is okay and way better than H or crank or crack. Like it's a fallback substance you know?
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
