thirtybubba

I don't know if I should even be asking this. But I can't help but notice that it's been a bunch of drama here lately. And I'm curious--to all those with lots and lots of days/months/years--is this normal?

I've been out of the 'loop' for a few years, I'm not even sure how I'm 'supposed' to react to things that are typical for my age. And I know I've been actively laid back--I have/had a temper problem for a while, somewhat resolved (inasmuch as I haven't been arrested for it lately lol)--so I don't know if this is how normal people are, or if it's a result of newfound sobriety, but it's got me wondering.

Man, I'm just trying to rejoin society, and it's so much I don't know. Please don't hate me, it's just an honest question borne out of honest motives...

Sara420

i dont think ive ever seen a message board that didnt have a lot of drama...

Sikkisirus

I know how you feel about the 'rejoining society' thing. Even in my job where I deal with people all the time, I still don't feel 'part' of it.

thirtybubba

That's exactly what I mean. I deal with people all day too. Thanks, seriously, for understanding.

And yeah, Sara, I guess there is some level of drama to be expected. I just am noticing that as people are sober/clean for about a month, it seems to explode.

Again, I'm not sure if this is normal for people in general or more specifically a phase people go through as they get sober/clean.

Sikkisirus

I suppose alcohol does play a part in 'seperating' us from life but Ive come across non drinkers feeling like this too. Its not exclusive to one group (in my opinion).

Sara420

i can get mean and bitchy if im totally sober for an hour... i cant imagine a month

thirtybubba

Note to self... avoid Toronto in 30 days...

I've never made a month, but I can say that after about 10 days that whole b-iness thing goes away in a sort of surreal bliss. Sobriety does strange things to a body. Kinda like drugs and/or alcohol...

Sara420

i wouldnt know about 10 days either.... altho it is nice to wake up without a hangover every now and then

Sara420

Sikkisirus

Without derailing the thread, Im glad I never suffered hangovers

Back to topic: TB do you socialise outside your work?

thirtybubba

Now imagine waking up every day IN A ROW without a hangover/needing a shot (more accurate in my case)...

That actually was my life until Thursday. And for no reason I can think of, I went and messed it all up.

Thirtybubbas aren't real bright sometimes.

thirtybubba

@Sikkisirus No. Haven't really connected with anybody where I live.

Sikkisirus

I can totally relate. To me (and again this is my opinion) it goes back before alcohol. To school even. Being the loner kind of thing, never fitting in. I guess we drink/drank to overcome that shyness but it never works. Not really.

yeahgr8

IMO After an abstainance from alcohol/drugs most will find that they have got rid of their emotional crutch and are still carrying around as much baggage with no release anymore...could be days/months/years. The only way for it to work is to get rid of/deal with the baggage before it gets too heavy to bear...simple really although i never saw it until now!

Sara420

its kinda the opposite for me, ive never been shy at all.... but drinking and drugs make me withdrawn

thirtybubba

Huh. I agree--what's wrong in my life isn't all because of alcohol, but I realize on some level that the liquor is keeping me from solving it somehow.

& don't worry about hijacking the thread... I'm not even sure where it's going & I made it...

Sikkisirus

When we're young a lot of us look to drink & drugs as a freedom. Until its hooks get deep enough....then it becomes a prison.

thirtybubba

I'm not much at being shy, but I'm still not true... If that makes any sense. Although I never felt like I fit in--just didn't care. Or so I claimed...

But I still don't--actually less so now. Looking around, for the first time, I don't even want to fit in with this crowd.

And yet, I was thinking earlier when I was gone for a moment, most people would never guess I feel this kind of lonely. Makes you wonder about how we all perceive people / vs how it is from their perspective.

Life is complicated...

yeahgr8

I love the way you post TB, this is class...i might start addding it as a disclaimer to any threads i start lol

You know what, the counselor i mentioned that i still see, i was sitting there outside the clinic on a bench legs open, arms stretched out either side...he came out and said 'cliff?'...yeah hi...he said 'so not a care in the world huh?'

About 15 mins into the session he was asking do i have suicidal thoughts, so yeah totally people won't see what you are like inside and i think we are all experts at hiding it.

Another good example is the people close to you, all the bar flys think wow this guy is happy go lucky, has no worries and takes life as it comes...it's only the people close who see the real devastation we actually do to ourselves whilst actively using...what brilliant actors we are!!!!

thirtybubba

Feel free...