box3

I just need to vent, I'm feeling very tempted to drink right now. I live with chronic illness and my weekend has turned into yet another couple of days where I've had to cancel plans and stay in bed. I'm learning to live with this, but I'm 33 years old and I want to do things with my life, not just convalesce. I live alone and sometimes it's difficult.

What's hurting me at the moment is that my partner is angry that I'm sick. He is supportive, but frustrated. I know this is a perfectly human reaction, but I've made it clear that he needs to decide whether he can handle being with someone with chronic illness. It's a hard thing to deal with and as much as I love him, it's OK if it's not something he can take on. However, I'm not prepared to put up with anger long term. He also has addiction issues, and it depresses me to know he's gotten drunk every night this weekend. He knows he has a problem, he doesn't drink around me and I've let him know that I'm detaching for my own sobriety. He is responsible for his own actions and the inevitable consequences. My mother called me Thursday evening and she was drunk, too. It's just hard right now. Thanks for listening.

firestorm090

Hi box3,

Sounds like you're having the same kind of day that I had all week, lol. It sucks sometimes, especially when we are surrounded by people who are doing what we are desperately trying not to do. Drinking booze does not help us solve our problem with drinking booze. I know that is obvious, but sometimes we need to there it just that way. As for the partner, I'd be wondering if I could deal with someone who drinks every night, I know my exwife couldn't, so now I live alone. I wouldn't have wanted to live with me either. I would have kicked myself to the curb many times.

It all depends on what we can handle, if we are pushed beyond our abilities, we crash and burn, so we must know what we can handle. If it's too much for you, then I'd try to determine the best way to confront these issues, and maintain my commitment to staying sober, no matter what. Hang in there.

box3

Aye. Thanks, firestorm. Just to clarify, I live by myself. I couldn't live with someone who drinks every day either. I'm never putting myself in that kind of environment again.

Dee74

Hi Box

I spend a lot of my time housebound. It's very frustrating to spend days inside when all you want to do is get out.

I too had a partner who didn't quite get it, which added to the frustration.

I spent years self medicating my frustration....you know where that ended up. Didn't do jack for the frustration either LOL.

I learned eventually that I had to do my best with what I was given - that means for me Drs and physio rather than trying to treat myself.

It also means trying to look at things in the best light I can and learning to make the best of being at home (voila SR!)

For me, personally, I also learned I needed a partner who understood and I've been lucky enough to find one. I hope your partner can rise to the occasion

And now you have SR to lean on as well.
PM me anytime you like

D

box3

Thanks for sharing your experience, Lavash. Your schedule sounds punishing enough for someone without Lupus. I'm getting over the drinking urge through posting. In terms of functioning, I've had a shower, but it's definitely a canned soup & two spoons kinda day.

box3

Thanks for your support, Dee. I'm trying. I need to raise this with my therapist, talk to my partner, and get a bit more organised and proactive about dealing with the times that I'm housebound.

tallcactus

((box))
This craving will pass, keep busy, post here, make something 2 eat, wash your hair, etc.
I know U love yr partner and mother but, they have a problem with the booze. U R doing what is right 4 U, maybe they will 2 in time.
Take care of U, then all the rest will follow.
Stay strong.
I wish I could give U these flowers in person and share a cup of tea.

Anna

It sounds like you're doing all the right things, Box.

I will pray for a positive outcome for you.

box3

Thanks TC and 51Anna. I appreciate your support. Lavash, when I'm feeling better I think I'll put together little care packages that I'm only allowed to use when I'm sick i.e. re-heatable healthy meals, bubble bath, funky PJs, a good book and DVDs, etc.