Language of Letting Go - Sept. 18 - Letting the Good Stuff Happen
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Language of Letting Go - Sept. 18 - Letting the Good Stuff Happen
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Letting the Good Stuff Happen
Before recovery, my relationships were lousy. I didn't do very well on my job. I was enmeshed in my dysfunctional family. But at least I knew what to expect!
—Anonymous
I want the second half of my life to be as good as the first half was miserable. Sometimes, I'm afraid it won't be. Sometimes, I'm frightened it might be.
The good stuff can scare us. Change, even good change, can be frightening. In some ways, good changes can be more frightening than the hard times.
The past, particularly before recovery, may have become comfortably familiar. We knew what to expect in our relationships. They were predictable. They were repeats of the same pattern - the same behaviors, the same pain, over and over again. They may not have been what we wanted, but we knew what was going to happen.
This is not so when we change patterns and begins recovering.
We may have been fairly good at predicting events in most areas of our life. Relationships would be painful. We'd be deprived.
Each year would be almost a repeat of the last. Sometimes it got a little worse, sometimes a little better, but the change wasn't drastic. Not until the moment when we began recovery.
Then things changed. And the further we progress in this miraculous program, the more we and or circumstances change. We begin to explore uncharted territory.
Things get good. They do get better all the time. We begin to become successful in love, in work, in life. One day at a time, the good stuff begins to happen and the misery dissipates.
We no longer want to be a victim of life. We've learned to avoid unnecessary crisis and trauma.
Life gets good.
"How do I handle the good stuff?" asked one woman. It's harder and more foreign than the pain and tragedy."
"The same way we handled the difficult and the painful experiences," I replied. "One day at a time."
Today, God, help me let go of my need to be in pain and crisis. Help me move as swiftly as possible through sad feelings and problems. Help me find my base and balance in peace, joy, and gratitude. Help me work as hard at accepting what's good, as I have worked in the past at accepting the painful and the difficult.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Letting the Good Stuff Happen
Before recovery, my relationships were lousy. I didn't do very well on my job. I was enmeshed in my dysfunctional family. But at least I knew what to expect!
—Anonymous
I want the second half of my life to be as good as the first half was miserable. Sometimes, I'm afraid it won't be. Sometimes, I'm frightened it might be.
The good stuff can scare us. Change, even good change, can be frightening. In some ways, good changes can be more frightening than the hard times.
The past, particularly before recovery, may have become comfortably familiar. We knew what to expect in our relationships. They were predictable. They were repeats of the same pattern - the same behaviors, the same pain, over and over again. They may not have been what we wanted, but we knew what was going to happen.
This is not so when we change patterns and begins recovering.
We may have been fairly good at predicting events in most areas of our life. Relationships would be painful. We'd be deprived.
Each year would be almost a repeat of the last. Sometimes it got a little worse, sometimes a little better, but the change wasn't drastic. Not until the moment when we began recovery.
Then things changed. And the further we progress in this miraculous program, the more we and or circumstances change. We begin to explore uncharted territory.
Things get good. They do get better all the time. We begin to become successful in love, in work, in life. One day at a time, the good stuff begins to happen and the misery dissipates.
We no longer want to be a victim of life. We've learned to avoid unnecessary crisis and trauma.
Life gets good.
"How do I handle the good stuff?" asked one woman. It's harder and more foreign than the pain and tragedy."
"The same way we handled the difficult and the painful experiences," I replied. "One day at a time."
Today, God, help me let go of my need to be in pain and crisis. Help me move as swiftly as possible through sad feelings and problems. Help me find my base and balance in peace, joy, and gratitude. Help me work as hard at accepting what's good, as I have worked in the past at accepting the painful and the difficult.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Change was uncomfortable sometimes and it was just easier to slip back into the old familiar ways, even though I knew that doing so would leave my life miserable.
What gave me the trust to change anyway was what I saw in those who went before me. I knew they had been where I was and I wanted what they had so I did what they said and it worked for me too.
Today I embrace change because I know it will always take me some place good. Blind faith tells me so.
Hugs
What gave me the trust to change anyway was what I saw in those who went before me. I knew they had been where I was and I wanted what they had so I did what they said and it worked for me too.
Today I embrace change because I know it will always take me some place good. Blind faith tells me so.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 8
Thank you. I needed this. I am very fearful of the "good stuff". I'm afraid to allow myself to believe in and enjoy the "good stuff". What if it is all an illusion and I'm only building myself up for more dispair when the "good stuff" goes away...again? It always has in the past, right? Well, it wasn't truly the "good stuff". I've got to get to where I can enjoy the "good stuff" at face value. I don't know if I'm ready but I know I need to get there. Its a start.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Forwardbound, this is where my meetings helped my recovery. Our meetings are not about them, they are about us. Not just our healing but about recognizing red flags and trusting our instinct. They are about being okay with ourselves so we don't have to depend on anyone else for our support, our happiness or our quality of life. WE hold those keys, we have all along, anything else was an illusion.
Learning to love myself, finding my own dreams and happiness, and becoming well enough to trust what my instincts tell me, were the most important parts of my recovery.
If you are already going to meetings, trust the process and give yourself lots of time to begin to feel the change that will happen. If you are not, please give them a try, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I would not be in the good place I am in today, in all aspects of my life, without them.
Hugs
Learning to love myself, finding my own dreams and happiness, and becoming well enough to trust what my instincts tell me, were the most important parts of my recovery.
If you are already going to meetings, trust the process and give yourself lots of time to begin to feel the change that will happen. If you are not, please give them a try, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I would not be in the good place I am in today, in all aspects of my life, without them.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 8
Unfortunately, meetings aren't doable for me. The closest one is too far away especially when work and children are in the picture. I have the books and read what I can online and as usual it seems mountains will move for the addict but I'm left to figure it all out myself. Sometimes it seems like its easier to be the addict. Everyone wants to see him succeed but I if must seperate myself from him for MY success, I'm not being supportive and understanding of all his suffering.
I know better but its one of those days....exactly one year since he left for the 1st rehab, been in the second one about a month now. He gets to work on himself all day everyday, nothing but him, and I'm left to handle everything else and "squeeze in" working on me.
I know better but its one of those days....exactly one year since he left for the 1st rehab, been in the second one about a month now. He gets to work on himself all day everyday, nothing but him, and I'm left to handle everything else and "squeeze in" working on me.
Funny how we get exactly what we need when we need it.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
