Hello (again)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: san francisco, ca
Posts: 12
Hello (again)
Funny thing. I know I signed up here a while back and had the password thingy send me my login/pass to the email I signed up with. Big surprise! When I first logged in the board said that my last login was May 5, 2007. WOW! Over 2 years! Did not know that much time passed, and I have not been sober since then. I thought it was like a year at the most.
My story:
40 year old male, not sure when the moment came when I realized I was an alcoholic. For a long time I could control the time and the place and the amount. It all started in college. Parties, it seemed like so much fun. Graduated and here is where it all started going down hill. After graduation my wife and I moved to a different city, so after work I really did not have my friends to hang out with. We as friends did not drink that much when we were together, we did sports to keep us busy. Since they were not there, I sat at home after work and would just drink beer and watch TV all night. First it was like 2 nights a week, and now 15 years later it is every night. Usually 14-18 beers a night. I never get out of control, as in doing really stupid stuff. I am a happy drunk. (happy when I am drinking that is). I think this is why my wife is like in denial about it. I thought for sure the moment I told her that I needed to get help, she said I was not an alcoholic. I was dumbfounded, I thought she was going to say, thank god you realized it, now lets fix this. She supports whatever I do and I love her madly. But I thought it was weird that she was the one in denial. I think she grew up thinking beer is not a problem, only the hard stuff. I never drink hard liquor, I get a gag reflex just smelling it, but beer and me have had a long affair together and I have to say good bye. I recently developed what I think is gastritis from drinking. Today is another attempt to stop. I will be making an appt with my Dr. this time and tell him everything and see what he recommends. Why I am so driven now to stop drinking, is that the other day my hands started shaking at work. I was in denial about that, but not anymore. Because when they do shake, beer makes it go away. That is so messed up it really makes me angry at myself that I got here. But I am here, so that is another driving factor. 40 years old so I am just speeding things up by damaging my organs and taking in 1800 calories a night. There is no alcohol in the house ( I drank the last beer in the "beer fridge" last night) and my wife never drinks, maybe one glass a wine this whole year. Oh, and another damn thing, I pee the bed sometimes, that really sucks. It is embarrassing. But you figure, 15 beers in you, it has to go somewhere.
Sorry to ramble on. I just wanted to get it all out, kinda makes me feel better to spew this all out today. I took the day off to prepare for tonight, it will be hard. Especially when it is bed time, I will not be able to sleep at all. And if I do sleep, crazy ass dreams will follow. Wish me luck. I really do plan on dropping by here every night and gaining more and more momentum. I quit tobacco by using a forum. I chewed for 20 years and in 2002 I quit. But this is nothing like tobacco.
My story:
40 year old male, not sure when the moment came when I realized I was an alcoholic. For a long time I could control the time and the place and the amount. It all started in college. Parties, it seemed like so much fun. Graduated and here is where it all started going down hill. After graduation my wife and I moved to a different city, so after work I really did not have my friends to hang out with. We as friends did not drink that much when we were together, we did sports to keep us busy. Since they were not there, I sat at home after work and would just drink beer and watch TV all night. First it was like 2 nights a week, and now 15 years later it is every night. Usually 14-18 beers a night. I never get out of control, as in doing really stupid stuff. I am a happy drunk. (happy when I am drinking that is). I think this is why my wife is like in denial about it. I thought for sure the moment I told her that I needed to get help, she said I was not an alcoholic. I was dumbfounded, I thought she was going to say, thank god you realized it, now lets fix this. She supports whatever I do and I love her madly. But I thought it was weird that she was the one in denial. I think she grew up thinking beer is not a problem, only the hard stuff. I never drink hard liquor, I get a gag reflex just smelling it, but beer and me have had a long affair together and I have to say good bye. I recently developed what I think is gastritis from drinking. Today is another attempt to stop. I will be making an appt with my Dr. this time and tell him everything and see what he recommends. Why I am so driven now to stop drinking, is that the other day my hands started shaking at work. I was in denial about that, but not anymore. Because when they do shake, beer makes it go away. That is so messed up it really makes me angry at myself that I got here. But I am here, so that is another driving factor. 40 years old so I am just speeding things up by damaging my organs and taking in 1800 calories a night. There is no alcohol in the house ( I drank the last beer in the "beer fridge" last night) and my wife never drinks, maybe one glass a wine this whole year. Oh, and another damn thing, I pee the bed sometimes, that really sucks. It is embarrassing. But you figure, 15 beers in you, it has to go somewhere.
Sorry to ramble on. I just wanted to get it all out, kinda makes me feel better to spew this all out today. I took the day off to prepare for tonight, it will be hard. Especially when it is bed time, I will not be able to sleep at all. And if I do sleep, crazy ass dreams will follow. Wish me luck. I really do plan on dropping by here every night and gaining more and more momentum. I quit tobacco by using a forum. I chewed for 20 years and in 2002 I quit. But this is nothing like tobacco.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Hi and Welcome back!
I'm glad you have decided to live a sober life.
It would be a good idea to talk to your dr before you stop drinking because detoxing from alcohol can be dangerous. It's great that you have no alcohol in the house. That really helped me.
I'm glad you have decided to live a sober life.
It would be a good idea to talk to your dr before you stop drinking because detoxing from alcohol can be dangerous. It's great that you have no alcohol in the house. That really helped me.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,031
crazybeer, welcome back! I too quit chewing some time ago after using it for 27 years. Of all things I used a cessation thread on an amateur astronomy forum, and it finally did the trick. Two months after that I quit drinking.
Please detox safely, I hope to hear more from you.
Please detox safely, I hope to hear more from you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: U.K.
Posts: 9
I'm just a newbie on here myself LB and the story is so familiar. I'm just a year or two older than you and today, I too pretty much took the day off work. Dozed until late afternoon and then decided to find this place which I'm glad I did.
The dreams will go in a bit I know, I've had them too I guess all folk have. The worst nightmare would be to carry on like this though, a slave to alcohol.
I've not really had the shakes but recently have had a tingling in my hands and stuff. I'll probably be up all night and maybe get a few hours but I reckon this place will get me through it. Funnily when I say to my good lady about health problems similar to yours she just says you'll be one of the ones who are o.k. It's only folk who know that can understand.
Hang in there.
The dreams will go in a bit I know, I've had them too I guess all folk have. The worst nightmare would be to carry on like this though, a slave to alcohol.
I've not really had the shakes but recently have had a tingling in my hands and stuff. I'll probably be up all night and maybe get a few hours but I reckon this place will get me through it. Funnily when I say to my good lady about health problems similar to yours she just says you'll be one of the ones who are o.k. It's only folk who know that can understand.
Hang in there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: san francisco, ca
Posts: 12
Thanks for the advice. I went over and read the what to expect thread for detoxing and it scared me. I need to plan this out. I was planning on doing this while still trying to work. I am thinking that I need to take a week off and have my wife take off the same time to be here when I do this. After talking to my Dr. of course. The blood pressure thing is crazy. The last time I tried the 1st night was crazy dreams and I thought that my bed was breathing. Did not make it to night 2 and that was a couple years ago, so it could be worse this time. I am glad I found this place, I didn't know and I already have high BP.
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