How does one help others like us without the steps?
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
How does one help others like us without the steps?
Maybe it is cliche. But I have felt the urge to actively help others like us.
I am not talking about meetings and things like that.
I dont claim to know it all..Cause I am still learning quite a bit.
And I am not talking about your typical helping another addict.
I would want to focus more on ones that are where I was.
In the streets, deep into street life, prostitution and such.
Girloverboard's thread still burns in my mind.
And it brought back alot of memories and emotions. Pain and disgust.
I have always said the saddest thing I have ever seen is when someone truly gives up on themselves.
Its a look you just cant ignore. And it is very noticeable.
I remember seeing girls that came from a wonderful life and were destroyed in a matter of months from drugs.
Like a shell of their former selves. Its like they are a total different person.
I have seen girls that had HIV/AIDS and just didnt care. Giving it to any and everyone they could to feed their habit. Sick and deteriorating in the streets right before my eyes.
Girls being beat and kidnapped. Manipulated and basically owned by everything that could get them what they wanted more than life.
I have seen some not come back. Found dead in canals, dumpsters, along dirt roads in bushes, alleyways.
I was well on my way to being that one that didnt make it back.
Somehow I made it back every time. Alive, healthy, with another chance to try and make it right.
I have had my fair share of close calls.
And for the life of me couldnt tell you how I am even sitting here now.
But I like to believe it has to be for a reason.
People dont just go through things and have things happen to them like I have and be where I am now.
It is rare.
I am not trying to save the world here.
But there has to be some help for these people.
When the rest of the world just looks at you like trash and says" They wont be our problem for much longer."
Some do care. Some do want to help.
Some can help.
So my question is...How would one help people like that when I myself do not follow the widely accepted 12 steps?
Court systems use it, most treatment centers follow it.
Are the odds stacked against someone like me?
Is it possible for there to be salvation and be accepted for wanting to just be of help without the steps?
I just want to say..I do not want this to turn into a program debate. Who has the best way and all that. It seems anytime 12 steps is brought up. It turns into a program war.
I am just trying to see what yall think on what someone that doesnt follow the steps could do to help.
I am not talking about meetings and things like that.
I dont claim to know it all..Cause I am still learning quite a bit.
And I am not talking about your typical helping another addict.
I would want to focus more on ones that are where I was.
In the streets, deep into street life, prostitution and such.
Girloverboard's thread still burns in my mind.
And it brought back alot of memories and emotions. Pain and disgust.
I have always said the saddest thing I have ever seen is when someone truly gives up on themselves.
Its a look you just cant ignore. And it is very noticeable.
I remember seeing girls that came from a wonderful life and were destroyed in a matter of months from drugs.
Like a shell of their former selves. Its like they are a total different person.
I have seen girls that had HIV/AIDS and just didnt care. Giving it to any and everyone they could to feed their habit. Sick and deteriorating in the streets right before my eyes.
Girls being beat and kidnapped. Manipulated and basically owned by everything that could get them what they wanted more than life.
I have seen some not come back. Found dead in canals, dumpsters, along dirt roads in bushes, alleyways.
I was well on my way to being that one that didnt make it back.
Somehow I made it back every time. Alive, healthy, with another chance to try and make it right.
I have had my fair share of close calls.
And for the life of me couldnt tell you how I am even sitting here now.
But I like to believe it has to be for a reason.
People dont just go through things and have things happen to them like I have and be where I am now.
It is rare.
I am not trying to save the world here.
But there has to be some help for these people.
When the rest of the world just looks at you like trash and says" They wont be our problem for much longer."
Some do care. Some do want to help.
Some can help.
So my question is...How would one help people like that when I myself do not follow the widely accepted 12 steps?
Court systems use it, most treatment centers follow it.
Are the odds stacked against someone like me?
Is it possible for there to be salvation and be accepted for wanting to just be of help without the steps?
I just want to say..I do not want this to turn into a program debate. Who has the best way and all that. It seems anytime 12 steps is brought up. It turns into a program war.
I am just trying to see what yall think on what someone that doesnt follow the steps could do to help.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Good for you, Trish. Giving of oneself is a good thing, regardless of recovery philosophy. Volunteering at sober living and halfway houses comes to mind. Puts you in contact with people who may identify with your background.
Galatians 5:13
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Tampa Bay
Posts: 329
It is awesome that you feel the urge to help. I am certain there are places locally you can help. I know a key to anyone's sobriety is to find someone that really understands them - and usually that means "having been there". Alcoholics come in all shapes, sizes, and backgrounds. It seems when I can really relate to someone because I can tell they understand, I feel more cared for and tend to grow a level (not to be confused with steps). So, with your unique background and willingness to help may God Bless you and everyone you touch (electronically or in-person)!
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
For me, it would like trying work on a car without any tools.
Could I fashion some unconventional tools to possibly get the job done? Maybe?
For me though, I ask, "Why re-create the wheel?"
Just my opinion, I can lead the horse to the water, I can hope he drinks it, but I've got to know where to find the water first, right?
Aysha... if I were to ask you, specifically, HOW did you manage to get clean/sober, and how do you manage to stay clean/sober, can you explain it?
Good topic.
Could I fashion some unconventional tools to possibly get the job done? Maybe?
For me though, I ask, "Why re-create the wheel?"
Just my opinion, I can lead the horse to the water, I can hope he drinks it, but I've got to know where to find the water first, right?
Aysha... if I were to ask you, specifically, HOW did you manage to get clean/sober, and how do you manage to stay clean/sober, can you explain it?
Good topic.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
You know Tommy. I can see in all your posts that you are very passionate about 12 steps. And I dont knock you for it. I am all for whatever works. My father got and stayed sober and is still sober for over 20 yrs from AA and 12 steps.
I myself do not relate to them. I do not get it. I dont feel comfortable trying. And faking it til you make it makes it feel wrong to me.
I can npt half step anything when it comes to my recovery. And I would be lieing to myself if I thought I could.
I am not doing anything differently than I have in my past failed attempts.
Except one major factor. Spirituality. Taking action instead of just idling by.
I am not so much white knuckling it.
I am doing things to improve my life. Instead of staying stuck in the same spot minus the drugs.
I had a very hard time grasping spirituality for a very long time.
And still dont know what it is I believe. But I do know what feels right.
So I go with what I feel is right.
I try not to get too comfortable in recovery. I am not that far clean.
But this attempt is taking on a whole life of its own.
It feels different than any time before. It just feels like this is the one.
I cant really explain it. It just is what it is and I am not trying to question it. I am just going with it.
I am not saying 12 steps dont work. there is proof everywhere that it does.
I am just saying personally. I do not feel comfortable using them.
I guess what I am really trying to get at is...Sometimes all it takes ..Like Tammy said. Is someone who understands. Who has walked in those shoes.
I have been to treatment where I am getting a text book perspective and it makes me feel so unimportant.
We are all unique in our own right.
Yes...we are all the same when it comes down to the addiction aspect. But as people, as humans..we are all different.
I myself do not relate to them. I do not get it. I dont feel comfortable trying. And faking it til you make it makes it feel wrong to me.
I can npt half step anything when it comes to my recovery. And I would be lieing to myself if I thought I could.
I am not doing anything differently than I have in my past failed attempts.
Except one major factor. Spirituality. Taking action instead of just idling by.
I am not so much white knuckling it.
I am doing things to improve my life. Instead of staying stuck in the same spot minus the drugs.
I had a very hard time grasping spirituality for a very long time.
And still dont know what it is I believe. But I do know what feels right.
So I go with what I feel is right.
I try not to get too comfortable in recovery. I am not that far clean.
But this attempt is taking on a whole life of its own.
It feels different than any time before. It just feels like this is the one.
I cant really explain it. It just is what it is and I am not trying to question it. I am just going with it.
I am not saying 12 steps dont work. there is proof everywhere that it does.
I am just saying personally. I do not feel comfortable using them.
I guess what I am really trying to get at is...Sometimes all it takes ..Like Tammy said. Is someone who understands. Who has walked in those shoes.
I have been to treatment where I am getting a text book perspective and it makes me feel so unimportant.
We are all unique in our own right.
Yes...we are all the same when it comes down to the addiction aspect. But as people, as humans..we are all different.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,047
"Being of service" can be accomplished in all areas of our lives Trish. Some examples.....
Hold a door open for someone. Help an elderly person.
Add an extra dollar or two to your utility bill if it gets donated to people who need it.
Volunteer. Anywhere.
There are so many examples, it only takes a little thought and kindness to forget about ourselves for awhile and focus on someone else.
This week I'm working on getting 5 toilets donated to a homeless shelter, so I've been sending out letters to some local vendors, so far I've come up with four. It's taken my mind off financial and work issues, so it's very rewarding to my recovery.
Hold a door open for someone. Help an elderly person.
Add an extra dollar or two to your utility bill if it gets donated to people who need it.
Volunteer. Anywhere.
There are so many examples, it only takes a little thought and kindness to forget about ourselves for awhile and focus on someone else.
This week I'm working on getting 5 toilets donated to a homeless shelter, so I've been sending out letters to some local vendors, so far I've come up with four. It's taken my mind off financial and work issues, so it's very rewarding to my recovery.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
Aysha, You don't need any 12 step program to help others, although in helping others you're doing the 12th step. 74 years ago Bill Wilson and Dr Bob Smith discovered that the only way they could stay sober was by helping others achieve sobriety. Out of that epiphany came AA, yet at the time they had no steps to follow, no program to work. They just did the best they could buy giving others the help they needed.
So I suggest you follow their footsteps. This isn't to say join AA, but rather look at what you can do for others. This site attracts people looking for help and advice. You can tell them what worked for you, how you did it. Outside of this site you'll find ways to help others, believe me. And I'm certain that in the days to come you're going to get a lot of suggestions.
So I suggest you follow their footsteps. This isn't to say join AA, but rather look at what you can do for others. This site attracts people looking for help and advice. You can tell them what worked for you, how you did it. Outside of this site you'll find ways to help others, believe me. And I'm certain that in the days to come you're going to get a lot of suggestions.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Aysha, posting here alone can be of great service. I've not followed any official program and although some on here have chastised me for "saying that out loud" many others have contacted me that also do not follow a formal program and have said that I've helped them. I have nothing against any program that works for anyone but we are all different (despite the jokes to the contrary) and people who are struggling need to hear all the different approaches to getting clean/sober so that perhaps one of the ways will click. I've also met people F2F that have struggled with alcohol and were drawn to me because of my story, and encouraged by my recovery.
Just share your story any chance you get because you never know who might be listening.
Just share your story any chance you get because you never know who might be listening.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: STROUD, OK
Posts: 158
Its strange for me to come home and find your thread. I have always read your posts because your username is shared by my cat. I also find something in your posts that make sense to me and just feels familiar. I felt compelled to post because lately I have been watching TV shows about the homeless. It just seems that everywhere I turn I am seeing something about them. Today as I went to fill my suboxone and start my last two weeks of that therapy ( down from 32mg down to 2mg FINALLY ) at Wal Mart I saw a rather rough looking lady, obviously homeless, holding up a sign and pan handling in the parking lot. And I just imagined who she might have been and where she came from, along with wondering if she was and addict or not. I felt immediately I would love to do something for her and while I was in Wal mart I threw some extra stuff in the basket that I gave her on the way out. I guess wal mart called the police, as I was driving away the police had pulled up and were talking to her, probably running her off. She was thankful for the groceries but she did ask for cash as well. It hurts my heart to see anyone suffering, so to speak. Maybe due to your experiences you feel called to help these people. It may be useful helping you recover. If you feel yourself moved to act in this area, I can't see how you could go wrong, surely there is something you could do in some organisation where you live. I often thought I might be able to help out with the latino community sice I spent so much time in Mexico and due to my being fluent in spanish. Being able to be of service to someone is rewarding because we are all humans, we feel, we have hopes, and a lot of times as you say, we can give up on ourselves. I agree with you it is devastating to to see that in peoples faces. I gave up on myself and when I did I did ten times more harm to myself thru addiction than I did before. I simply thought I was not the type of person who was capable of significant change so I gave myself over to my addiction and even indulged in some other stange eating disorders. I seemed to permit myself these luxuries, so to speak, because, why not, i was going to die anyway. Helping others is spiritual in nature and is a manifestation of empathy. You mentioned that this time around you have felt the spiritual change, maybe that is what is going to make the difference for you and make for a lasting recovery. I do not think think that AA is the only way. I'll just say that it is probably the most user friendly and appeals to the masses more. I am going into an outpatient that is 12 step based, and I intend to take advantage of it..it seems to make sense, or fit, me. I see it as a tool to achieve what I want and I have nothing against it, but I do not believe it is the only way. I do , however, believe that finding another recovery philosophy, or program could really help concrete your recovery. Flying blind for me seems dangerous. I would surely need SOME program, some method that many have used to successfully live a sober, recovered life. Be it a 12 step related or otherwise. I agree that we are all different. One size does not fit all. I wish you luck and for me, rekindling the spiritual aspect of my life has helped greatly this time around. Good luck aysha. Keep going
Chris
(looking desperately forward to day ONE in two weeks)
Chris
(looking desperately forward to day ONE in two weeks)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
You are doin' it already Aysha... Who knows how many you've helped by being so honest and generous with your posts...
Now, I hesitate to say this... you are gonna be busy at school and work and maybe now is the time to take care of yourself... But maybe some safe harbor houses... Maybe there is a Drug and Alcohol support office at your college...
Mark
Now, I hesitate to say this... you are gonna be busy at school and work and maybe now is the time to take care of yourself... But maybe some safe harbor houses... Maybe there is a Drug and Alcohol support office at your college...
Mark
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Hi Aysha,
Your thread is really great!
I, too, asked the same questions that you are asking. I knew, without a doubt, that there was a reason that I didn't die and that I am here today.
You can help people in so many ways. I am not an AA member either, but I have found ways to give what I can, as much as I can. It's SO important to me. I was lucky enough to be a volunteer at a women's centre for street-women and women living in poverty, for about 7 years. It was one of the best experiences of my life. I made some amazing friends and maybe, in some small way, helped to make a difference in someone's life. I come here to SR every day and have for more than 6 years. I have always loved the Newcomers forum because I will never, ever forget how lonely I felt when I stopped drinking and faced myself. Look around in your community, come here and share, there are many ways that you can give.
Your thread is really great!
I, too, asked the same questions that you are asking. I knew, without a doubt, that there was a reason that I didn't die and that I am here today.
You can help people in so many ways. I am not an AA member either, but I have found ways to give what I can, as much as I can. It's SO important to me. I was lucky enough to be a volunteer at a women's centre for street-women and women living in poverty, for about 7 years. It was one of the best experiences of my life. I made some amazing friends and maybe, in some small way, helped to make a difference in someone's life. I come here to SR every day and have for more than 6 years. I have always loved the Newcomers forum because I will never, ever forget how lonely I felt when I stopped drinking and faced myself. Look around in your community, come here and share, there are many ways that you can give.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 107
My psychiatrist and Suboxone doctor became an addiction specialist because she was so tired of the shame-based thinking of 12-step programs. Even though I go to about 2 or 3 meetings a week, they are a component of my recovery, not the core. I have learned so much about recovery from this woman, all empowering and loving. I have never done better. I a full time student and work 4 days week, am down to 5 mg a day of sub and should be off entirely by Christmas. (Not trying to brag just saying that when I discovered alternatives to the 12-steps I began to succeed in ways I never thought I would.) I believe this woman saved my life. A year ago I was certain my death would be drug related. I always tell her she should start her own "alternative" rehab!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
I agree with Cubile Aysha - you're already doing here, and I bet you do it out there too.
You're one of the most giving people here.
All of us, 12 step or not, all we can really do is share our experience, lend an ear, a shoulder, or a hand as applicable.
We all do what we can - like Anna I believe I was given a chance to give back.
no, I can't fix your car, but I can give you a lift while I tell you how I fixed mine tho
D
You're one of the most giving people here.
All of us, 12 step or not, all we can really do is share our experience, lend an ear, a shoulder, or a hand as applicable.
We all do what we can - like Anna I believe I was given a chance to give back.
no, I can't fix your car, but I can give you a lift while I tell you how I fixed mine tho
D
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
I think any way that works is GREAT, whatever it is.
I'm just curious on how to suggest a different way to others if we cannot 'define' the way ourselves.
Great topic and I like the civility of the discussion so far. I am a HUGE fan of the steps personally, yes, mostly because of the structure and guidance. I like to be able to have something tangible to offer those trying to stay clean/sober. I know the steps aren't the 'end all to end all' for everyone... but maybe they can be the end all to end all until each person finds what works for them?
Holding doors open, being here, talking with newcomers, etc, is all reaching out and providing help... but for those who don't use the steps and/or the AA/NA programs to stay clean/sober... how do you do it? And how would you explain what works for you to a newcomer?
Once again... I like the civility of this discussion and I am not saying the steps are the only way (maybe just an 'explainable' way?)
I'm just curious on how to suggest a different way to others if we cannot 'define' the way ourselves.
Great topic and I like the civility of the discussion so far. I am a HUGE fan of the steps personally, yes, mostly because of the structure and guidance. I like to be able to have something tangible to offer those trying to stay clean/sober. I know the steps aren't the 'end all to end all' for everyone... but maybe they can be the end all to end all until each person finds what works for them?
Holding doors open, being here, talking with newcomers, etc, is all reaching out and providing help... but for those who don't use the steps and/or the AA/NA programs to stay clean/sober... how do you do it? And how would you explain what works for you to a newcomer?
Once again... I like the civility of this discussion and I am not saying the steps are the only way (maybe just an 'explainable' way?
)
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
You know Tommy..You have hit it right on the head. Exactly my point to this whole thread!
How does one help another withotu the steps.
You are absolutely right..How do you explain what works for you if you yourself dont even know.
Which seems to be the case with me right now.
I dont know what is working really. I just know I am doing things alot differently and it seems to be what I was missing before.
Mostly the spiritual aspect. Instead of denying all spirituality. I have been in desperate search of what it is that fits me. The christian way def is not it.
Alhough I was brought up to believe ther is a God and Jesus and all that. We werent religious. Its just the idea that was planted in my mind growing up. That thats what it is.
Now I am not saying I dont belive in it. I just am not too sure how much I can be convinced of it.
Like I said. I am a believer of Karma type things. Which is really more along a Buddhist type belief..I think.
That everything has a purpose and what you do affects what will happen in the future.
If you do bad things..Bad things will happen. If you have a bad heart..bad things will happen..And so goes for good things as well.
Not if you do bad things..Your going to be judged and punished.
Maybe my whole take on God and the Christian way is distorted. I dont know. Like I said. I never was brought up religious and couldnt recite a word of the Bible if I had to.
I know I have fallen to my knees so many times beggin for a way out. And it seems my pleas went unanswered. So maybe I just feel abandoned by this so called God.
But the thing that has always showed true to me and I have experienced time and time again. Is cause and effect.
Does any of this make sense?
But anyway. Yes...I wouldnt even know where to begin to explain exactly how I am doing it.
I just am. ANd trying to explain or figure it out seems like I am ..OH what am I trying to say...Honestly..I cant even put it into words. But questioning it seems wrong.
It is working..Whatever it is. It is the thing I have been waiting for. And honestly..There is no way to explain it.
How does one help another withotu the steps.
You are absolutely right..How do you explain what works for you if you yourself dont even know.
Which seems to be the case with me right now.
I dont know what is working really. I just know I am doing things alot differently and it seems to be what I was missing before.
Mostly the spiritual aspect. Instead of denying all spirituality. I have been in desperate search of what it is that fits me. The christian way def is not it.
Alhough I was brought up to believe ther is a God and Jesus and all that. We werent religious. Its just the idea that was planted in my mind growing up. That thats what it is.
Now I am not saying I dont belive in it. I just am not too sure how much I can be convinced of it.
Like I said. I am a believer of Karma type things. Which is really more along a Buddhist type belief..I think.
That everything has a purpose and what you do affects what will happen in the future.
If you do bad things..Bad things will happen. If you have a bad heart..bad things will happen..And so goes for good things as well.
Not if you do bad things..Your going to be judged and punished.
Maybe my whole take on God and the Christian way is distorted. I dont know. Like I said. I never was brought up religious and couldnt recite a word of the Bible if I had to.
I know I have fallen to my knees so many times beggin for a way out. And it seems my pleas went unanswered. So maybe I just feel abandoned by this so called God.
But the thing that has always showed true to me and I have experienced time and time again. Is cause and effect.
Does any of this make sense?
But anyway. Yes...I wouldnt even know where to begin to explain exactly how I am doing it.
I just am. ANd trying to explain or figure it out seems like I am ..OH what am I trying to say...Honestly..I cant even put it into words. But questioning it seems wrong.
It is working..Whatever it is. It is the thing I have been waiting for. And honestly..There is no way to explain it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
For me it's very simple Trish.
I share my experience - I've been doing that for two years now.
Some people get something from it - some don't.
I don't have to have a ready made answer for anyone - and I'm ok with that - I don't think I should.
I think it's their job to find their answer - thats what recovery is to me, no matter what path you choose.
I just share what I got, ya know?
Any way that works is no better and no worse than any other way or what anyone else has got.
Just share what you got...others may see meaning in it that you don't yet..
D
I share my experience - I've been doing that for two years now.
Some people get something from it - some don't.
I don't have to have a ready made answer for anyone - and I'm ok with that - I don't think I should.
I think it's their job to find their answer - thats what recovery is to me, no matter what path you choose.
I just share what I got, ya know?
Any way that works is no better and no worse than any other way or what anyone else has got.
Just share what you got...others may see meaning in it that you don't yet..
D
Last edited by Dee74; 09-16-2009 at 07:28 PM.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Totally Rocks!!
HeyTrish, this is awesome awesome news!!!
Okay, the thing is, as your being a professional in the field, just don't knock the Twelve Steps or Traditions, and everything will be right as rain, girl.
Hard-core addicts won't care what you believe, what they'll care about is if you believe in them as well as yourself. If you have duplicity, they'll blow you off quick and nasty in the wink of an eye. lol.
Otherwise, you'll never have a problem going pro, just don't knock what millions use to keep their lives going day in and day out. Become informed and respect your sources. It's why AA and NA is so widely used. IT WORKS.
If it's not for you, no problem, no one will care because what you have works too, and they [the people you are helping] will want what you have, and they will get it their *own way* any ways. Just like you are doing!!
I always knew you would be sooo goood at helping hard-core street addicts. It's like no life you could ever imagine! You'll love it!! I was twenty years serving my fellow brother and sister hard-core street addict in organised recovery programs. Your gonna help alot of hopeless, forgotten people, Trish. Your gonna help save lives!!
What you'll get back is so much more then you will ever give, and you'll give more then you ever thought you could, so just imagine the possiblities....
Rock On Trish!!
RobbyRobot
Okay, the thing is, as your being a professional in the field, just don't knock the Twelve Steps or Traditions, and everything will be right as rain, girl.
Hard-core addicts won't care what you believe, what they'll care about is if you believe in them as well as yourself. If you have duplicity, they'll blow you off quick and nasty in the wink of an eye. lol.
Otherwise, you'll never have a problem going pro, just don't knock what millions use to keep their lives going day in and day out. Become informed and respect your sources. It's why AA and NA is so widely used. IT WORKS.
If it's not for you, no problem, no one will care because what you have works too, and they [the people you are helping] will want what you have, and they will get it their *own way* any ways. Just like you are doing!!
I always knew you would be sooo goood at helping hard-core street addicts. It's like no life you could ever imagine! You'll love it!! I was twenty years serving my fellow brother and sister hard-core street addict in organised recovery programs. Your gonna help alot of hopeless, forgotten people, Trish. Your gonna help save lives!!
What you'll get back is so much more then you will ever give, and you'll give more then you ever thought you could, so just imagine the possiblities....
Rock On Trish!!
RobbyRobot
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I guess there must be some that have got off the streets and out of the life etc...including yourself. So relaying your story of how you got out would be the way forward with some sort of constructive and realistic points of exit would be useful. Like this happened which caused me to do this, then i did a), then i did b), c) happened which made me do d)...do you know what i mean. You would also want to make sure that you are reaching people that are ready to get help too. Maybe there is already somewhere that these people may go like some sort of refuge, even if only as a temporary stay? That might be a time where they may be open to suggestion? I'm not quite sure how many would not be alchies or addicts who would be in that situation, that's something for you to look into...
If it was me i would find an organisation (e,g, charity, soup kitchen, refuge) that already does this, or tries to help with some level of success even if it is only a small percentage...and see what i could do to help them rather than think of my own thing as they will be able to give you some real information and expectations.
I think whichever way you do it you need to be careful that you don't end up enabling them to continue in their lifestyle, patting them on the back and telling them everything will be ok, whilst slipping a book on morning meditation into their pocket, isn't going to help at all...addict or not!
I think you will need to be able to detach somewhat whilst helping people out there in this situation, you know better than i do what happens and the chances of getting out.
Good luck and be careful!
If it was me i would find an organisation (e,g, charity, soup kitchen, refuge) that already does this, or tries to help with some level of success even if it is only a small percentage...and see what i could do to help them rather than think of my own thing as they will be able to give you some real information and expectations.
I think whichever way you do it you need to be careful that you don't end up enabling them to continue in their lifestyle, patting them on the back and telling them everything will be ok, whilst slipping a book on morning meditation into their pocket, isn't going to help at all...addict or not!
I think you will need to be able to detach somewhat whilst helping people out there in this situation, you know better than i do what happens and the chances of getting out.
Good luck and be careful!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Trish)))
You know my story...5-1/2 months in AA and that was 4 years ago, BEFORE i discovered crack, which was the drug that took me down hard and fast.
I can't explain my program. It's really just my way of life, but with a respect that staying clean and helping others stay clean is priority one.
I still use some of the AA slogans because they work or they're right. I have nothing against AA, it's just not for me..right not. You can bet, though, if my program stops working, I will head straight to a meeting. I will also try to always remember to suggest the meetings to newcomers when they come. I can't deny AA/NA help a LOT of people. I just believe that there are different ways and if someone can stay clean, help others, and enjoy life...then what they're doing sounds like a pretty good program, as long as it's not hurting anyone or taking advantage of anyone else
The way I see it, my program is evident in the way I live and others around me see it. If I'm personally around an addict, I refuse to enable. I recently had a coworker who I adore (I call him and his baby mama my kids) and could see him spiraling down into crack. I told him I loved him, but he was screwing up his live, he WAS going to prison for violation his probation and baby mama just may not stick around this time - she is 19 with 3 babies. It hurt like hell to detach, but I couldn't get wrapped up in HIS stuff, because I'm not going to get that close to crack. He is now in his 3rd month of county jail, waiting to go to prison.
You come here and you support others. You learn from others. You learn from your mistakes, whether it's going out and using or snapping at Grams for no reason...to me, it's ALL a part of recovery. I have a strong faith, and I believe you do to, you just haven't quite figured out WHAT you have faith in, and that's okay.
You and I have so very much in common, I totally understand what you're saying but don't know if I answered what you're asking. I do know that as each day goes by, I smile and say a big "thank you" prayer for where you are today, compared to where you used to be.
Love, hugs and prayers!
Amy
You know my story...5-1/2 months in AA and that was 4 years ago, BEFORE i discovered crack, which was the drug that took me down hard and fast.
I can't explain my program. It's really just my way of life, but with a respect that staying clean and helping others stay clean is priority one.
I still use some of the AA slogans because they work or they're right. I have nothing against AA, it's just not for me..right not. You can bet, though, if my program stops working, I will head straight to a meeting. I will also try to always remember to suggest the meetings to newcomers when they come. I can't deny AA/NA help a LOT of people. I just believe that there are different ways and if someone can stay clean, help others, and enjoy life...then what they're doing sounds like a pretty good program, as long as it's not hurting anyone or taking advantage of anyone else
The way I see it, my program is evident in the way I live and others around me see it. If I'm personally around an addict, I refuse to enable. I recently had a coworker who I adore (I call him and his baby mama my kids) and could see him spiraling down into crack. I told him I loved him, but he was screwing up his live, he WAS going to prison for violation his probation and baby mama just may not stick around this time - she is 19 with 3 babies. It hurt like hell to detach, but I couldn't get wrapped up in HIS stuff, because I'm not going to get that close to crack. He is now in his 3rd month of county jail, waiting to go to prison.
You come here and you support others. You learn from others. You learn from your mistakes, whether it's going out and using or snapping at Grams for no reason...to me, it's ALL a part of recovery. I have a strong faith, and I believe you do to, you just haven't quite figured out WHAT you have faith in, and that's okay.
You and I have so very much in common, I totally understand what you're saying but don't know if I answered what you're asking. I do know that as each day goes by, I smile and say a big "thank you" prayer for where you are today, compared to where you used to be.
Love, hugs and prayers!
Amy
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
