Notices

Anger Problems

Old 09-14-2009, 02:00 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1
Anger Problems

Ever since I've stopped drinking completely, I've been having massive anger issues.

It's been about five months now since I've stopped drinking. I quit cold turkey when someone said it couldn't be done. Once in awhile I'll have a peace of mind and not have a care in the world. But most of the time, there's just this odd anger building up within me throughout the week. Whether about issues from recently, or from the past, I can't stop obsessing over them. I run about two hours twice a day everyday but it doesn't help. All this pain and hatred puts me in tremendous stress. My arms and chest feel like they're lit on fire sometimes.

In the past, I just drank when I had problems. With all my drinking, anger was never one of those problems.

It's all coming back to me now. Every detail that I can remember in the past while I was under the influence pisses me off today when it didn't before. I feel stupid for letting things go so easily back then and being walked all over. Little details today stay on my mind for entire days. I don't want to think about them, but when I try to forget I feel like I'm not being true to myself and letting my submissive behavior take control that only my once alcoholic state would allow. And for everything that's worth, I don't want any association with alcohol anymore. I've given up all my friends and my past just so I don't slip back into alcoholism again. But now I feel like I'm going to lose my family if I can't control my anger.

This may sound strange, but I don't know how to fix this behavior properly without alcohol!
Essence is offline  
Old 09-14-2009, 02:13 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Owner of a strange glitch.
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Welcome, Essence, to SR.

What you describe doesn't sound strange to me--I used alcohol to sleep and to cope with ongoing minor irritants, among others, and without it I find those especially hard to deal with nowadays. My anger issues are farther in the past, and I don't know anything about what to expect with the length of sobriety you have.

For what it's worth, not letting your body get stressed can reduce the level of anger you feel, but it won't--in my experience--take it fully away. This includes sleep, eating well, and exercise--the basics. And when you do get upset by something, find some release--I find a heavy bag useful.

I'm sure others will be along that might help you better, but have patience. It's that time of night not many are here--should pick up in a couple hours.

Welcome, again, and stay around some, you'll find a lot of support here.

Take care,
-TB.
thirtybubba is offline  
Old 09-14-2009, 02:55 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
littlefish's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
Anger was a big problem for me in early sobriety. I stayed angry for about 6 or 7 months. I need ear plugs when I read my diary from that period!

I go to AA and have a sponsor and that helped me navigate my way through the stormy waters: I discovered in early sobriety that I was denying my past, all the damage of my childhood, and essentially who I was.

It wasn't easy finally cleaning the mirror and actually seeing who I am.
but, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm glad I finally discovered the damaged child within because I can finally do something about it, forgive, heal, grow up and move on.

Otherwise I would still be walking around damaged with a drink in my hand saying "I'm okay, really".

I know it sounds odd but the anger is a good sign. It means that you aren't choosing the numbing effects of alcohol to deal with problems.
littlefish is offline  
Old 09-14-2009, 03:17 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,058
Hi Essence
Welcome to SR

Congratulations on yr sober time.

I think it's common to feel angry in early recovery - and it's equally common to not know how to handle it.

Reading your post it strikes me much of your anger may stem from the same place mine did. This endless raking over the past and beating yourself over things long since past is clearly not doing you any favours, Essence.

Wanting to make things right, to fix things, and obsessing about this, were two of my biggest problems.

One of the best things I ever did was to finally accept that my past was inaccessible to me. Whatever I had done,however stupid or embarrassing or hurtful, I had to accept it could not be changed.

I eventually realised all I could do was to change from now - live my life 'right' from today onwards (or as near to as possible) and try and make amends that way - if I become the man I should have been all those years, I figured that would speak louder than words and work better than aimless anger - and in my case, it did.

I'm still a work in progress at 2 yrs + but I'm far more comfortable with myself, I'm proud of who I've become...I've forgiven myself as far I can for my former life and my mistakes.....and my anger is much less.

I'm lucky enough to have a counsellor in my life - have you considered counselling or other means of face to face support? I think it's often useful to 'unload', especially to a professional.

I hope to see you post more here anyway - this is a great place for support
D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 09-14-2009, 04:16 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Follow Directions!
 
Tazman53's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR Essence, anger!!!! Oh yes, every time I ever quit drinking ANGER was one of the main things that eventually led me right back to drinking again, I had no solution for it, I became POed at the world and myself and I would drive every one away that cared about me with my anger. I would reach a point where it was possibly wind up in jail due to my anger or drink.

The last time I quit it started off the same way, I was irratable, anxious, and irratable, but I was also at the point where I was willing to ask for help! I had no other solution to any thing in my life but to drink and I knew that if I drank again I was going to lose everything and simply drink myself to death. I had to find a solution for life other then alcohol, and I did, I found that solution in the Program, the 12 steps of AA and the support and guidance I need to achieve that from the fellowship of AA.

In AA I have learned how to clean up my side of the street and to accept that not every one is going to live thier lifes the way I would like them to. I have learned how to make amends for my past where I can, to forgive others for things they may have done to me in my past and also how to forgive myself for things I did in my past.

Yes I still on occassion get angry, but I deal with it today, before I had a program ANGER owned me, it ate me alive from the inside, I did not know how to forgive others or myself. Now I know forgiveness and acceptance.
Tazman53 is offline  
Old 09-14-2009, 05:20 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
I know exactly what you mean, i did this last year for 5 months and was very, very angry indeed...i did everything i could to stop thinking about things but it was torture...this time i got into AA and with working the steps i am not having the same problems at all. Come to think of it everytime i have tried to stop drinking in the past for the few months at a time angry is an understatement...hope you find your solution.
yeahgr8 is offline  
Old 09-14-2009, 05:22 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Awaiting Email Confirmation
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
This may sound strange, but I don't know how to fix this behavior properly without alcohol!

Mnay experience this problem.

Fortunatly there is a non-alcohol solution.

The 12-step program within AA/NA can help you specifially address such issues and lead you to the path of peacefullness, acceptance, and serenity.

I was 100% against it and totally skeptical at first so maybe aproach the 12-step program from the aspect that you want to find out why it will not work for you. I am still trying to find out why the 12-steps will not work for me, and in the meantime I am reaping HUGE benefits from it.

Keep coming back.
tommyk is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:04 AM.