Cerv82

I need help.

I have been with my boyfriend for about 4 years now and he has done really great until recently when he relapsed. He had been clean for the entire time, but all it took was him to meet some loser and BAM he relapsed. He has been off and on for the past 6 months now. He is in a methadone clinic, but he has already relapsed since being in the program. He started school, we hoped that this would be a positive focus for him, but within the first week he messed up again. He goes in and out of it, one minute he is back to his old ways and then he comes to us and tells us he wants help. His entire family is on the last leg with him and nearly about to abandon him all together.

He wants to go to rehab but has no financial backing to do so. He has called several places but continously gets the run around. Does anyone know of any free rehab programs in the Bay Area of California?

nytepassion

I will look into it and get backatcha by the end of the day or sooner

Passion

kj3880

I urge you to read some of the Stickies at the top of the page of this forum. You, my dear, didn't cause this, cannot control it, and definitely cannot cure it. I didn't go to rehab for my opiate addiction. I went to an addictionologist and I paid for it by working overtime. Nobody helped me. It was my problem, and I was responsible to find my own way to get and stay clean. You can't help him with this. The best you can do is to let him fall. If you keep helping him, he'll only use you up, too.

Love,
KJ

lexington

I agree with this sentiment. It's a harmful delusion to believe that the drug, or the addiction, is some sort of demonic third-party which is controlling your boyfriend. It's a substance that HE is using. It's hard to get off it, but he has to get off it himself because he got himself on it in the first place. Saying (or even thinking) like that may make you feel like you're blaming the victim, but in this case there is not one else to blame, logically speaking. He probably thinks of the drug as a demon too, in which case he will never take responsibility for his addiction UNLESS the people he cares about demand that he take responsibility for it.

This advice is coming to you via a very close friend of mine who overcame addiction by himself many years ago. until I heard this from him, I used to think exactly like you do about my (now ex) boyfriend. Best of luck

nytepassion

In San Francisco, the best place is called
"Joe Healy"

It is part of the Baker Places Organization.

Other places to check:
Haight Ashbury Free Clinics Inc.
Walden House
SFDPH Treatment Access Program
http://www.baartprograms.com/
San Francisco General Hospital Ward 93.
Ohlhoff Recovery Programs

ElegantlyWasted

The old saying you can lead a horse to water.... I think applies. Be careful. Active addicts can be very dangerous for otherwise sane people. Alanon type support may help as well as some of the great advice listed above and archived oN the friends and family threads.