Cath1029

Wanted to drink so badly last night to quell the anxiety. Some of you know that I've been trying to extract myself from an abusive marriage. In my mind, I've been thinking of it like surgery, the offending part is removed, but the nerve endings continue to fire intermittently. I have woven such a tangled web with him that it's a hard trap to escape from.

He keeps calling and texting. I tried to block his number, but my provider won't let me. I was at the gas station yesterday and desperately wanted to take home some beer in the hopes it would calm me down. Instead, I picked up the 1000 pound phone and called the first number from AA that I had. Well, HP was working for me, because it was the perfect number to call.

The lady I talked to remembered me from picking up my white chip on Thursday. Said she had wanted to call me, but didn't have my number. I explained my situation, and she was totally understanding. She is going to try to help me with a ride here or there to meetings and get me hooked up with a sponsor through the network of women that she knows from the home group. She offered to stay on the phone until I left the gas station. She gave me a simple prayer to say, and I left the gas station with no alcohol.

If it wasn't for her and HP, I'd be feeling so much worse and more sick this morning, as the relief would have only been temporary. Instead of feeling shame and anxiety and like I couldn't go on, I felt blessed. Thanks.

Tazman53

Cath you brought a tear to my eye, picking up that phone said it all.... YOU WANT this!!!!

Keep using those phone numbers, your HP will watch out for you as long as you are doing the work and calling someone is doing what ever it takes.

Getting a sponsor is awesome as well, keep doing what you need to do, things will keep getting better as long as you keep doing what you need to do.

Cathy31

Oh that's wonderful Cath! Our HP's hand is ALWAYS outstretched to us, but sometimes we've got take a few steps first to get there exactly as you did.
Well done!! Keep it up!!
Cathy31
x

Sikkisirus

Well done Cath, im wishing you the best

KenL

Great thing that you did, Cath. That's what will keep you on the path of sobriety, reaching out to others in your time of need. Thanks for sharing that.

Anna

That's a great post, Cath!

Charmie

great cath! keep on going!:praying

tallcactus

((Cath))
I too, feel an emotional tug in my heart, when reading your post. U R doing so well, good that U had those numbers with U.
"One day at a time," is all U can do, keep it simple, stay strong.
Your post helped me today.