minute

I have never been to any post or chat room and appreciate any info and support. I am not me any more. I am an abusive addict. I abuse my prescribed pain meds and have always been an attictive person. I need help to wean off percocte (10-325, 6 years) and fentanyl 50mg patch every two days (chewing it now for for 4 months).
I planned a trip with my family (first trip in 3 yers) and started stashing my meds to have enough to feel good during the vacation. Thats when I started chewing it on the third day to save them.
On the trip I used them all. I chewed a 50mg patch every day and took apx 5 perc's a day and used everything I had and was in WD before I got home. Since I've been home I have (had to) cut back to 1/2 patch a day and two perc's a day. I am hurting and in WD every night.
I am a mon of three teenagers but they do not no about this. I have a Medical issure I use it as an excuse for my addiction and WD to everyone (except my husband). I don't know if it is possible to do this on my own or how long this pain and WD will last.
I gave my meds to my husband last night and am going down to 1/3 (50mg fent) a day. I am scared, but determined to live again as a drug free person.
I want off this asap and forever. Thank you in advance for any support and adivice. Thank you

anono

hi minute... this is my first go at anything like this as well, i have only been comimg her for less than 2 weeks but it has helped me more than i can say...

as i am so new i'm not sure i am the best to give you advice.. but i found joining existing threads has worked well for me.. my poison is alcohol and i joined the august sobriety group..

there is also a september sobriety group and threads that focus on narcotic addictions

you have made a good positive step by posting, go have a play around and see what you can find.

i'll check back on you

NewBeginning010

I am an alcoholic myself but wanted to welcome you to SR

Lots of good people here to help you out.

Take Care,

NB

minute

I appreciate your note. I didn't know if my post worked or not. I don't even no exactly what a thread is but will try my best to learn the right way to comunicate. Thank you.

anono

the thread is the title of the 'group'.. you already have picked the right way, you got us !!

minute

Thanks, alcohol abuse is also a problem of mine. I went to AA years ago and quit drinking for 6 months. It was before the pain meds, they messed up my hole life. I felt so awesome at that time in my life. Just remembering the great feeling of being totally sober gives me motivation to be strong. I wish you the best, sucess and strength. Thank you again for being there.
PS... I also lost 15lbs with out trying and need that again as well.

Dee74

Hi Minute welcome to SR...this is a great place for support.

just hit 'post reply' (bottom left hand side of the page) on any discussion you want in on

Here the September thread link Anono mentioned:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ety-group.html

and heres a link to the Substance Abuse forum - you might want to check that out too

Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Hope to see you around some more!
D

Sikkisirus

Welcome, you will find a great amount of support here and I wish you well in your recovery

firestorm090

Hi minute,

Welcome to the SR family.

Wow, I could identify wholeheartedly with your comment about, "I am not me anymore. I am an abusive addict."

My main problem is booze, but I've tried many different drugs over the years. I kept going back to the booze cause it's legal, and easy to get, just walk into any market and there ya go, they even keep it cold for ya. When we drink (or use), we surely are not ourselves anymore, cause we're all doped up with chemicals that even a cow, horse or turtle wouldn't drink or use. (I wonder, does that make a turtle smarter than we, lol.) After years of extensive use, our minds become twisted, our thoughts are unstable at best and our outlook on life fades as we fade into oblivion. Priorities become warped, responsibility is a hassle, and mature growth stalls, often for years, (or in my case-decades). So, you're not alone here, in fact you are amongst some of the greatest people in the world here, for they have a solution that works for them and are living better lives because of the gift of finding that soulution (misspell intended).

We (or at least most of us) are truly hurting inside when we end up here. It's comforting to know we can reach out to others here and they will help show us the way it works for them. We may not listen or hear what they are saying, but my bet is that the longer we stick around, the better the odds of finding a better way of life, along with support as we struggle through the painful changes that we face each day. You have taken a huge step forward by posting here and I hope you will continue to take the steps necessary to keep moving forward toward a better life for you and your family.

One last note, maybe your DR. could help you wean off the drugs if you ask? Just a thought.

Thanks for posting, FS.

thirtybubba

Welcome minute! Hope you stay around. Lots of support around here...

Believe808

I came into the rooms of AA in 1986 to get sober from Alcohol, and I remained alcohol free for 15 years. Then the pain meds and anxiety meds came into my life and again because of my addictive behavior I was off and running. It took me 5 years and an attempted suicide to see that my life was a complete mess. I went to a rehab last September and then back to the rooms of AA, where again I felt like I was home again.

Welcome to SR minute, you are not alone anymore.

vegibean

Hi minute, welcome to SR!! This board is a wonderful place to be. Tons of support and experience. Keep reading and posting.

least

Welcome to the SR family! I"m glad you found us. Lots of support and understanding here. I also suggest you talk with your doctor about weaning you off your meds safely.

Wolfchild

Good morning & welcome to the Sober Recovery community.

coffeenut

Welcome to SR. Please visit often....and post as well. Lots of good people here.

minute

Thank you for the welcome and support.

Dear Tallcatus and Least

I am afraid if I tell my Dr. the truth, (that I am chewing the patch) that he will quit treating me totally! He said he could legally get in major trouble from other problems I have caused him... I been seeing him for years and he has caught me on about everything. He told me if I ever used or abused anything again he would not treat me because he could go to jail for it..
I am a very addictive person and don't think straight half the time. I should have known I would get caught. But he (DR) promised me he would drop me if I got caught by him for anything.
I don't know how to ask him for a detox drug when if I was using the scrips correctly I would not have this major problem!
I am tapering but it is really hard. I read about meds on this site that could really help like suboxone? Should I try to ask him for this ya think? I just don't want him to cut me off cold turkey with no back up plan. I go back next week to see him and don't no what to do.

ANY ADVISE, I have teenagers that say "they wont ever touch drugs and drugs are stupid and anyone who does drugs deserve what the get"!
Kids at there school have OD and one boy died and my kids had little passion. Honestly they are great kids and I show support, love and passion to them and anyone in need if I can help! I could not get thru to them that everyone makes mistakes, some big some little and some little turn into real big real fast. (I pray ther never make a mistake like me).

But, these are my children. I am crying so hard right now. They have no clue I do what I do and what I go thru. It hurts me that they are not more supportive for all people. They just think I am very moody and depressed right now. But they have no compassion for me either.
I really am afraid to detox in my home.
About the detox, I don't no how hard this is going to get and how bad I am going to act. I don't have anywhere else to go to detox besides a cheap hotel! ANY ADVISE??? I am cutting back again Sunday and I am scared and depressed, pains not bad yet, but really don't want my kids to see it.
Thanks for all the welcomes and support. Any advise appreciated
Love,
Minute

tigers13

Recognizing that you have a problem, that you need help and are powerless over your addiction is the first step...making the choice on your own shows your will and determimation to do thisl Good luck and keep posting!! :ghug3

smacked

Welcome, and I definitely want to jump on the 'see a doctor' wagon here.. Maybe you need supervised detox, ordere by a doctor. And maybe if you came 'clean' with your current doc and he dropped you, it wouldn't be such a bad thing? Maybe he could get you the help you need before washing his hands of you.

anono

great to see you still here .. you have faced your problem, want to stop, so stick to it and you'll be able to!

have you checked the substance abuse link dee posted? i would agree others about seeing doctor, maybe on the substance post there may be contacts such as drug help organisations?? ones in your area that run a methadone, suboxone program ..